How to improve self esteem and confidence?

Question

Since a young age, I've suffered from low self-esteem started from fat, now I feel worthless begining to think I will be alone forever, after violent relationships. And I even sometimes feel a failure days when suicide feels the only option.
But I am trying to change my approach ... I know its only going to screw my life up more, for 7 years I've been this way, and now I am just graduating from school.

Anyone who has any ideas or help please contact me, or leave an answer.
Thanks

Answer 1

Well, First off you have to know what self esteem is: Self-esteem is how you view life, people and most importantly yourself. When self-esteem is low you almost always feel depressed. Everything around you is viewed in a negative light. You see the world as a harsh, unfair place filled with people out to hurt or ignore you. And you see yourself as a victim. You go through life expecting the worst and inevitably people will let you down. When self-esteem is high you see the world as a good place. You see yourself surrounded by friends. You have a positive attitude and feel good about who you are as well as who people are in general. Most people do not live at the low end of this or the high but somewhere in between. When life tosses us curve balls, or successes our position on this 'line' tends to shift accordingly. The ability to bouce back to a 'nice place' on the line is the difference between someone with healthy self-esteem and someone without. What causes low self-esteem? feeling powerless, childhood problems, physical problems, dealing with prejudice, domestic violence, devastating loss (ie. death in family. How to increase your self-esteem? have fun (hobbies, activities, etc.), set realistic goals, see a therapist (IF you are comfortable doing so), reduce stress (especially home life), find others who can relate (forums, support groups, etc.), give yourself treats (you deserve them!), keep a journal (record your feelings and return to reflect on them), music! Sing, dance...be merry!

Answer 2

Physical fitness. Workouts, regular exercise. I am not a fitness freak, but it REALLY helps. Whether it be at a local gym, or outdoors. Note I mean workouts, not an just an active lifestyle.
A regular program of exercise an hour a day say 4 days a week.
I would have been a different person and felt better about myself when I was younger if I had been doing my workouts like I do now. It is a major self esteem booster. The hardest part is getting started. Once you start going regulary, it becomes a habit. Lifting light weights i saw results in 90 days. Cardio takes
a little longer. You can also socialize at the gym too. There
maybe others like you. [e-mail]

Answer 3

Everyone should have enough self confidence.

You can become this in a lot of manners. Just start with little goals you make yourselve. Goals that are easily reachable. Every time you reach such a goal, it will boast your confidence. After a while you could make you goals a little bigger, but don't do that to fast...

Another way of reaching self confidence. All what you do for an other will pay you back double in confidence. You could for instance do some social work. Are there some poor or sick people in your neighbourhood? Go to them and offer your help. It'll make you feel good.

In the same sence, but maybe too drastic. Take some holidays and go to a developping country to help the people out there. The confrontation with the other culture and the fact that you will make yourself very usefull will be super for you self esteem.

Answer 4

First, you need counseling. Second, if the problem is a result of being overweight, as you stated, then you could join a gym and attend a weight loss group meeting from Weight Watcher, Jenny Craig, etc. I wish you the best of luck. Low self esteem will lead you to continue making bad relationship decisions and to be overlooked in job promotions. You won't have the self esteem to think you are worth them! Good luck, get help soon. Your life can be much better than it is!

Answer 5

Never look to another person to make you happy, Happiness is an internal, personal attitude and responsibility. Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge, and relationship, contains some message worth learning or teaching to others. Live in the present moment and practice forgiveness of others. You have started to take a more positive approach just by asking this question. Keep going and work on your love of yourself more.

Answer 6

My answer may seem long and stupid, but I have experienced some of the same crap you went through and I didn't experience a profound paradigm shift until I came across sociology in college. I know, "WTF, sociology? Shut the hell up," but trust me, sociology breaks down a lot what society, and consequently yourself, uses to evaluate your worth in your society.

Sounds like a load of liberal, pseudo-intellectual nonsense, but once you read into the fundamentals of sociology, it will be a REAL eye opener.

Instead of asking yourself," What is wrong with me?" from a sociological perspective, you'll be asking, "What does society value, and how do I fit into that picture?" It is VERY empowering knowing why people act the way they do and why they treat certain people a certain way. Also very important, is that sociology will show you what your society values, that way you know what to work for in order to function more smoothly. And if you doubt this is important, observe the personalities of those in the upper-class and they'll most likely possess nearly all of what society values,which is specific to where you live in most cases.

The only bad thing about sociology, is that it suggests that EVERYthing about you is what society tells you to be. That is a hard pill to swallow because of our belief in individuality. But you can chose to ignore that, for peace of mind sake.

Sorry for the long answer, but basically, if you're looking into going to college after you've graduated (if you were talking about high school) Sociology is in my opinion a very important class to take. Keep positive! One foot in front of the other ALWAYS, no matter who or what is trying to PUSH YOU BACK; not even yourself!

Answer 7

That the idea of suicide has ever occurred in your mind, is sufficient enough to seek professional psychiatric counselling.Your situation needs detailed analysis before counselling.Please do not delay or ignore.Life can be nice and your self esteem will definitely improve.But take professional help at the nearest available centre.

Answer 8

Self esteem is a gradual process which we acquire not by looking hot or having a good boyfriend - but by small accomplishments in day to day life. Stretch yourself. Try new things. The more things you learn and do - the more self esteem you will have. Good luck.

Answer 9

Never opt for permanent solution to your temporary problems. Life is fun. Life is enjoyment. Life is challenge.

I have researched that leaving self defeating habits, traditions and environment is effective means to boost moral. Have courage to say bye-bye to your existing environment. Leave you violent relationships immediately.

No educated individual can be lonely in this world of network and Internet. The whole world is yours. Blog and enjoy!

Contact for any further detail [e-mail] All the best.. Enjoy!

Answer 10

hey, everyone is unique.some are fat,some are thin.Confidence is good at a moderate level,but not too much.Just take a long look at the mirror.Like what you see?its not the outer beauty that counts,its the inner beauty that counts.No one will like a good looking person if his/her attitude is bad.People don't mind a not so good looking person if his/her attitude is nice.Don't think of suicide.it is the worst option anyone could think.Just because one or two days you feel like a failure doesn't mean other days you would. take care!