My dad drinks a lot at home and in work ......?

Question

sometimes he thretans (and hits) me and my mom and we have to get out of the house and go somewhere like a hotel!!i tried talking to him and so has my mom
any tips?? what can i do :( HELP

Answer 1

Dang- sounds like my life when I was growing up. I am so sorry.
I lost my dad a few months back at age 63 due to liver failure because of his drinking. I had to take care of him at home and at times I wondered why I was doing it because of the way he was.
You have to call the police on him and he has to get a domestic violence charge against him, maybe that will wake him up a bit. I know it will be hard but if you live in a city that has a diversion program it will force him into getting help. If it has gotten abusive like that, you and your mom should move out and he'll be forced to sink or swim. Go to al-anon. There is also ala-teen but be careful there too. I have heard that kids have actually been introduced to drugs and alcohol there! Have other family members, friends, co-workers, anybody who will gather and do an "intervention" (where lots of people gather and together tell your dad how his drinking is affecting everybody). Good luck sweetie. Email me if you wish. I've been through this and maybe I can help. I wish I could click on the "report abuse" by your little picture and have it all go away :-) Also- I'm sure seeing your dad that way makes you not want to drink. Do not start drinking okay? Alcoholism runs in the family and you may be affected and the road to ruin can start with one drink for you.

Answer 2

I went through the same situation. My dad was an abusive violent drunk who used to hit my mom. We eventually had to leave and stay at a hotel for a year until we got back on our feet again financially.It was a very rough time. My dad was upset and finally checked himself into the nearby (hospital) recovery choice and now he has been sober for 15 years. I remember being a little girl praying every night in my room that he would quit drinking. I never thought he would quit. There really isn't much that you can do except support your mom and try to get out of that situation. A hotel is not the most pleasant place to go but it is better than the situation that you are in. I think that you and your mom should move out. When my mom decided to leave my dad it was on a whim. I was on a date and she came and found me and told me that she had had enough and that we weren't going home. The next year we lived in a small one bed hotel room. It was definitely a hard year but we made it through. It made us stronger and it brought us closer together. If you don't have the money for hotels there are woman shelters that you can go to. We did stay in one for a night. The most important thing is for you and your mom to get out. It isn't possible to talk any sense into an alcoholic. So I don't think trying to convince him to quit drinking will work. You and your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things get better for you soon. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk more about this.
-jennifer

Answer 3

That is a rotten deal and it sucks that you have to go through that! Remember the "three C's"... you didn't cause this, you can't control this, and you can't cure this. Talking to your dad probably won't do much because when people drink a lot, they rationalize it... your dad will try his hardest to keep convincing himself that he's the one that's right. The only thing you can do is keep YOURSELF safe.
Unfortunately it is up to your mom whether she and you move away from your dad. A lot of times moms don't want to leave their husband forever, because they are afraid they'll be lonely, and they think that it is better for you to have some sort of dad in your life.
If your dad is hitting your mom or fighting with her, never get in the middle of them. Go to another room or go outside. If you are scared you can call the police, or think of someone you trust that you can call, like a relative, or one of your friends' parents. If you have nobody like that, you can call the Nineline (1-800-999-9999) It is free and they won't report you or anything, but they can help you feel better.
If your dad is hitting YOU a lot, maybe you should talk to your relatives, your grandparents or aunts and uncles, about letting you stay with them for a while. You could also talk with someone at school like a school counselor or a teacher, but if they think you are getting abused they might want to have you move to a foster home, so it might be better for you to try to go to your family members first and see if they will help you.
Good luck! Please stay safe!

Answer 4

Sorry that you are going through this, but you should not have to go through it because of your dad's actions... You have tried the good way, when he gets like this again., do not hesitate, I know that it will be hard to do this, and probably your mother will interfere and say no, but you call the cops on him., they will probably take him in, and stay the night in jail, but it is not a felony or anything like that..... you may even be able to drop the charges afterwards, but that is what is called tough love and for him to realize that you are not accepting his **** no more... You have had enough, and you are better doing this because this way you can avoid a tragedy from occurring. . . Help is out there, you just have to get it., do not let fear overcome what you have to do or god forbid your mother was to get hurt by him, then you will feel very guilty and always blame yourself because you did nothing but watch... Call 911 and tell them, my dad is drunk and fighting with my mother and I feel threaten... that will be that., trust me, I know that it is scary, but he will see that he will have to change.. He might even say he hates you, etc., do not take it personally, he needs help, not you, you are just defending yourself and your mother, he is the bad guy, not you guys... Please avoid a tragedy and start growing up and taking steps to taking control of your life and helping your mother, as it seems that she needs you right now.. good luck

Answer 5

you both need to leave. even if she isn't willing to, you need to get out and stay with relatives or friends.
contact the police and local women's shelters.
there are safe houses set up in many towns for abused wives and children.
next time he hits either of you take pictures of the bruises and marks he leaves with a polaroid and write the date on it. this way you have documented proof of what he's been doing to you guys.

i can't even imagine what you're going through and i have to tell you that you are one strong kid for trying to get you and your mom help.
the sad part is that he won't stop until he wants to stop. if he doesn't realize what's wrong with what he's doing, then he'll never see a reason to stop hurting you guys.

you can even tell a teacher and they can help you find help. it will be tough, but someone has to stop him....you guys don't deserve this...no one does.
so, find a teacher that you trust and know a tell them just what you said in your question. if they are a good teacher, they will do what they are supposed to do...which is alert the proper authorities.

please take care.

Answer 6

He has to leave the house. Plain and simple. Have your mom put a restraining order on him. He should not be able to go near the house or either of you or he goes to jail. Spending a few weeks in jail, sober, will help him see the way he is and probably also get a taste of his own medicine.

Answer 7

Ok this is serious. Your mom needs to get him counseling and rehab ASAP. You can't go on living in this abusive relationship! You mom may have to divorce your dad so be prepared for that. You dad could end up in jail if he gets too violent. This is terrible and you should call the police if your dad gets violent again. You don't deserve this treatment!

Answer 8

Next time he begins to hit call 911! They should take care of him. The money you spend on staying at hotel could be used for a lawyer or a rehab centre!!

Answer 9

call your local A.A. chapter .. they can direct u to ALA-TEEN for U and ALA-NON for your MOM.they are meetings that you & your mom can go to .. there will be teens that u can relate and talk to as well as an adult confidant/sponser your mom can go to meetings with adults ....and what is said in these meeting stays in the meeting...or u can go to your councelor at school.. I was married to an alcoholic for 12 yrs. we divorced when my kids were 7girl,4 and 4 boy-girl twins.. now they are 16, and 13... and their father still drinks but they know that they have a choice to be around him or not... I know u LOVE your dad but its okay to not like him or even hate him .and HATE the way he is when he drinks..BUT he and only he can make the choice to quit.. hope this helps..

Answer 10

Deep inside your father is a nice man, but when he drinks he is no longer a nice person and reasoning with him when he is drunk would be useless. He is a danger to himself, to those around him especially the ones who love him. You need to leave. Go a a shelter, seek help. Don't stay around, he is not going to get any better. Show your mother all these answers, we are all of the same mind, you need to get out of there and fast.
with love.