If you are born gay why are several former gays now living heterosexual lives?

Question

And have children. Why do gays insist on ignoring this evidence that it is a choice?

Answer 1

Well, considering there's about a 97% recidivism rate to homosexual behavior after being "cured", and that those who are "former gays" more often than not report their heterosexual lives are a constant struggle, I would say the evidence is in favor of it not being a choice. After all, if it was just a matter of choice, then "former homosexuals" could simply choose to be straight and be done with the matter, never having to be bothered by it again... but, that doesn't seem to be the case.

I will freely admit there are some individuals-- SOME-- out there who are genuinely confused about their sexual orientation because of various issues in their life (such as childhood sexual abuse), and that therapy can help these people, over the course of time, overcome whatever traumatic issues they are facing and come back to a healthier state of being sexually and realize they are heterosexual and go on to live fulfilling lives as one.

I have nothing against people who want to pursue that life trying to find fulfillment in it, and I have nothing against the notion that there are those out there who are confused and in need of help.

That said, though, the fact even those individuals for whom that is the case cannot simply deal with the matter themselves and require, in most cases, years of intense help, suggests our sexuality goes much deeper than the ephemeral whims you would seem to ascribe to it.

In any case, having seen the "therapy" techniques most often used, I'll simply note they're the same techniques used to brainwash people into cults, and to make Americans captured in the Middle East read those awful statements denouncing their countries and even their families as evil.

You can torture someone into saying or doing virtually anything, but just because you can use such methods to tear someone apart until you get the result you want, that doesn't mean it's their natural state of being.

For the vast majority of gay people, it isn't a matter of either choice or illness. Like everyone else, they only want to be the people they are instead of the people everyone else keeps trying to push them into being...

And since I would be willing to bet you demand the same thing for yourself, you could give a bit of respect on the subject even if you don't agree with it.

P.S.-- Many thanks to Cyberscorpio for his answer. I agree completely.

Answer 2

I think this question is very ambiguous, so i try my best to answer your question.

One of the common reason why gays do not admit and ignore their sexuality as being gay, because, of their religion. They feel that they have to comply the rules in their beliefs so that they wont sin against their religion.

Another factor of this consequence to happen is these gays cannot accept the fact that they are actually gay. This is normally caused by lack of self-esteem, the feeling of oddness in the society, the fear of being discriminated and treated differently and also some they embrace on the fact that gay is something wrong, something not right, something which is out of the border of acceptance from the society.

Moreover, some gays are willing to change the sexual preference to be come what some will call 'normal sexuality' which is being heterosexual. They have the intention to alter their lifes and have children and live a 'normal life'.

Other causes will be also the strictness in the family. Some families do not agree on having gays/lesbians in the family. Having no choice, they have to obey their family's decision.

Majority feels that they are actually humiliating their family by being gay. The openness and level of acceptance in a community a gay lives in and grew up in, will also affect them to live a life of heterosexual individuals.

There are also gays that really desire to have children but fear to bring up their children in a gay couple family. The worriedness of the children's environment and recognition also comes in mind for some gays. So then, they insist of having children in a heterosexual relationship.

There are loads of factors when coming to this question. I hope i answered your question accurately.

Answer 3

I agree that homosexuality is wrong (I'm a Christian), but I would't put it either that it is a choice or that you're born gay. I would compare it more to alcoholism; it's still sin, but people struggle very hard to overcome it and often relapse.
I don't see any evidence that people are "born" gay and can't change. I think it is a complex interaction of possibly biological predisposition (not a "gay gene" though, there's no evidence for that), in utero hormonal influences, and early childhood experiences.
That said, homosexual behavior is still a sin, and those who are Christian should not act on those feelings, and should seek help to heal. And not just people who have homosexual desires, people who struggle with any type of sin should not act on it, and should seek help.

Answer 4

I believe its because of fear,religion or enlightenment. Gays insist on ignoring the evidence because they know that there is no evidence of being born gay and they are trying to prove a point scientifically.

Answer 5

Because (specially in America) there are SO MANY people who keep on thinking that gays are pervert, and they cannot have a normal life and a family of their own. Actually, we gays can get married in Spain. And we can say it, and everyone who try to say in public bad things about gay people will be stopped and will be asked to twink twice and realize that every person is different; every person has a different world inside; and when people say: "Gays are...", "Gays should...", "Gays shouldn't"... It is like in the last Century, when people used to say: "Blacks are..." or "Women shouldn't"... I think (with all respect) that those things happen still only in America, because there are gay men who must keep their jobs, their families... whatever. And that's because there is still too much INTOLERANCE there. Greetings!

Answer 6

many homosexuals feel compelled to try to live their lives as heterosexuals because they are so afraid of the stigma attached to being a homosexual. pressure from family, friends, religion, and society in general. I have a friend who's middle son is a homosexual. I have known since he was young. His brothers know but his parents are in denial. And the poor kid got so much teasing and ridicule from his brothers and people in school that now he trys to date girls but he is so miserable he just ends up hating them and breaks up with them after awhile. its a terrible shame. he just graduated high school this month and i'm wondering if maybe he might move away from home to someplace where he can maybe be himself.

Answer 7

Probably for the same reason there are so many people who were once married in heterosexual relationships that are now gay. Your "theory" is just that a THEORY nothing more.

Answer 8

well lots of men are bi sexual and even more gays are still closeted and living a lie in a marriage that conforms to the little worlds they must live in ...if every gay man came out you would be suprised as to how many there really are ...

Answer 9

because they choose to change their ways, they are still born gay the just choose not to live that lifestyle in a sense their living a lie

Answer 10

they are in deep recovery from homosexualization forced onto them by twisted, neo-homo ideology