my wife is unfaithful to me , hve 2 children,what should i do?

Answer 1

It's hard to give advice without all the details...but I notice you
wrote my wife "is" unfaithful, not '"was" unfaithful..which implies
she is continuing to violate a sacred trust despite the fact you
have two children together and it sounds like you still love her...
She is not respecting your feelings and it doesn't sound like
she cares. If this is the case, move on with your life. No one
should be blatantly disrespected and hurt in a marriage. Life
will go on and often times the one who moves on finds more
blessings just around the corner awaiting them. Do it for
yourself and your children...they need to know that you are
not going to allow anyone to mistreat you and violate your
trust......no one is worth comprimising your self-worth...
Soon you'll be past the pain and entering a new stage in
your life that will be much better for you ...Best wishes....

Answer 2

Have you asked her why she is unfaithful? Your relationship with her is what is at stake; the children will grow up learning from your willingness to resolve your relationship issue without resorting to petty behavior. What you want to avoid is damaging their ability to have trusting relationships in the future. You have choices to make, but you need more info: Do you and/or she want to remain married? Why is she unfaithful? Do you want to repair your broken trust? Does she? It would be best for all involved if you and she could discuss these questions in the presence of a counselor or therapist (county health centers can give income-based referrals). Except for the part about avoiding damage to their future abilities to trust others, your children are not a deciding factor in whether or not you can resolve this problem while remaining married - that is up to you. Please open lines of communication with your spouse - this lack of communication is often what causes unfaithfulness in the first place (like not talking about sex problems, not discussing compatability problems, not having conversations on an adult level, or having lectures rather than conversations). Then you must learn to act upon what the communication has taught you, even if it involves a painful choice or decision to be made.

Answer 3

First find out why she is being unfaithful. Is there something she feels lacking in the relationship? See if she will go to counseling to work on the marriage. If she isn't and wants to divorce, then do so in the most civil manner for the sake of the kids. They can adjust better if the two of you show you can be calm and amicable.

Answer 4

First, you need to think out your options. You have 2 kids, and don't want to split up your family, if at all possible. Try marital counseling, or therapy. Talk to her, and try to find out why she is being unfaithful? Find out if drugs, or drinking is involved, because addiction is a big cause of infidelity. Find out if she feels that you are not satisfying her needs, and if that's the way she feels, try to be more romantic with her, and show her how much you really love her.

Answer 5

Never stay together just for the kids. You will only hurt them in the long run. Once a marriage is in trouble and ur arguing all the time thekids will notice. If she is unfaithful now she always wll be and that cant be a happy home. Its confusing and scary for them.

Answer 6

Talk to her, and find out the facts before you do anything. It may be that you are mistaken, or she may be doing it because she doesn't get enough affection at home. Nothing can really justify having an affair, but it may be something that can be fixed, and if you are prepared to keep living with someone who has had an affair, and sort things out, and trust her again, this could be a good option for you and the kids!

Answer 7

I'd go see a psychologist that specializes in relationships. She may be cheating on you because your not paying enough attention to her. Try huggin her when you see her last in the morning and then when you get home from work. Not really sure. That's usually the reason.

Just tell her you want to see a psychologist together for the kids and you still love her.

If that doesn't work then the coming days are going to be real tuff. Just make sure to tell the kids that this is not their fault. Knell down and tell them at their level. I don't know how old they are.

Answer 8

I really need more information to go on in order to give you advice. No matter what replies you receive, you know your heart and you situation best. No matter if she cheated on you once or more often, it is up to her to stop. Either way you have a logical, ethical and moral reason to be able to get out of the marriage quilt free if you want to. Have you ever cheated on her??? If so you may have to rethink about what I initially said. You both would be at fault and your marriage may more than likely be doomed, unless you really communicate well, or seek professional help and sincerely agree to work on fixing whatever insecurities or problems with the marriage. Children are a factor, but if you live a lie and are miserable, your kids will know this and they will be just as mortified if you argue and if this cheating continues. They may be upset at first but it can be forgiven as long as you show them a lot of love and each of you sit down and explain that you love them but sometimes marriages just don't work out as planned. Divorce is not always the best solution for you but if you can't work things out genuinly, then you children will be just as bad off living that life maybe than if you got a divorce. Only you know what is best for you and your family. Even if your wife does not want to go to counseling with you, then you still should go to counseling yourself to figure this out. Plus she may like the idea of seeing her own, different counselor as well. I have had one counselor tell me that she prefers to work with only one partner, but would work with both if they chose to participate. If you really want to help your children --this is a must--if they are of age to understand that you both are having problems now, then you need to see the school counselor or take them to see a counselor elsewhere. I am a 2nd grade teacher and kids really do need extra support--this is a major emotional time in their life and they feel helpless, guilty, worried and misunderstood and sometimes unloved.

Good luck and hope my ideas helped you think about your options. But please don't make any decision based on what I said--only you can do that--you are the one that has to live with the decision, not me, and none of the other people on here. So just remember that. I hope everything works out for and I am sorry about what happened.

Answer 9

try finding out what went wrong. there is something that is either missing or damaged in your relationship.

does dumping her solve the problem especially when you got kids???

usually affairs happen when there is a lot of distance between the couples.

do you still love her the way you used to? i doubt it!

i aint married but i knw this - after marriage romance slowly wanes away as you come to see the real person with all their faults and start loving them lesser n lesser.....

what you have to do is to accept her completely for the person she is and still love her with all your heart.

for all you know......she might be under a lot of emotional pain ....n maybe thats why she's looking for physical pleasures.

instead of getting angry.......try being considerate towards her situation.

put this behind you and try to build a better realationship with her. ask her what she wants.

give your best before you give up.

all the best.

Answer 10

its a very hard situation when kids are involed, cause they must be thought of first. she must not be thinking of them if she is cheating cause its going to affect them the most if you all end up in a divorce. but you got one of 2 choices, you can allow it to go on and accept it or you can leave her, once a cheater always a cheater. if the parents arent happy the children can pick up on this, depending on there age, they can see somethings wrong. take care of the children and move on, you and them both deserve much better. good luck!!