am i such a pity to myself?

Question

i have a boyfriend for 8 months. we were doing good. we share everything and we love each other so much. but then that was before. lately i caught him cheating on me with another girl. a one night stand. and then he told me it was nothing. like only for sex. i forgave him. but i cannot forget it. i always remember it and sometimes i nag him that he gets irritated already. i even kid him of saying i will find someone for sex too. and then he get so angry like he will explode. say badwords and wanna break up if i do that. why are boys so unfair? they shouldn't have cheated if they dont want to be cheated on. sometimes i can feel he easily gets irritated with me. we always argue.. what should i do? i need help. i still love him though..

Answer 1

you will learn in time that if your relationship in only 8 months is already this bad then it isn't worth having. I'm sure you may love him and he may love you, but there are many kinds of love and just because you love someone it doesn't mean you need to date one another.

Answer 2

Hi Katie, you know it may sound like I am taking your guys side, I'm not, what he done was wrong, but guys somtimes feel smothered ( as gurls do to) when they are with someone and they do things that makes them feel they have choices again. like they aren't as trapped as it feels. maybe that was what your guy was doing . it was wrong and he hurt you over it. I don't think you will ever heal and like someone said , it will always follow you. but you can always look at it like money in the bank, he had his and someday when you feel trapped , you can have yours, guys do have double standards when it comes to their women, most of it has to do with them not believing that women have the same urges as men. it's their ego that says she love me too much, she would never want to be with another guy. when guys fall in love, in their mind they have done considered you as the mother of their children, if you have sex with another guy, you could get pregnant and everything he has worked out in his mind is shot. that's why he shouldn't cheat and give you a reason to. it sounds like he doesn't respect you very much and that should be an indication that it will only get worse. you can still love him and be looking for someone else to love. he doesn't deserve your love.
in time your love for him will fade. but if you accept poor treatment from him , your self esteem will fade, guys don't start off being abuseres on any given day, it's a little by little wearing you down until you feel you can do no better. get away and find someone else. good luck.

Answer 3

Cheating is cheating. He should have considered his consequences. You have seen him cheated on you as you know the image burned into your mind. your heart really hate him and distrusts him completely. As you forgave him, you were in a denial of your hatred on him. you truly love him and your willing to go far with him no matter what he do. Now as you think about it, you are willing to give up your own life to be with him as you are quite obessed with him. You are not thinking about yourself at first. He cheated on you and the situation might happen again because he knows that if he cheats on you and you will forgive him. He might take advantage of that. I know you love him so much but what you are not thinking about yourself katie. You come first before your boyfriend period. When you mention that you might do it to him as result he got angry. The reason is that he denies his own image of who he really is. He feels really insecure and lonely if you do it, he don't want that to happen at all. That is why he is fighting aganist you to stop it from happening. Which he is afraid that you will do it but he is not afraid to do it to you. Basically he is a player. He is a type of a guy as I can see, takes chances, aggressive and in the state of denial. I suggest you back off, he is not worth it. I hope I answered your question katie. If you need more advice and need me to explain it more further email me again then we will talk about this in depth.

Answer 4

If you can't get past this maybe ya should go on cause from what you are saying you have not forgave well truly forgave him. Look at this way every time you get down on yourself you will compare yourself to the gal he cheated with, or you will feel unsure of yourself with this relationship from now on!Girl if he cheated once he may again ,and he may bring ya back something Clorox wont kill! Get out!

Answer 5

well this is a similar situation i was in earlier and it all sounds the same my g/f cheated on me like 3 months in our relationship and everything so i know what Ur going threw u just feel like Ur attached to this person and u cant let them go and the trust level is demoted very low at this point to keep the relationship going, from this point it is goin to take alot of effort from the both of u first of all i know u love him but u need to take some time from him and c if he really loves u cause if u cant get that vive from him dont waste ur time u need to move on, but if he really does love u then work it out. the jokes are upsetting him prob because its making him feel bad for what he did to u and hes trying to get over it dont get wrong he deserves to be punished but if u drag this out for like months it will tear u guys apart. all i can say is from my experience is that it took a very long time for things to work out between us and the patience lvl was crazy but in the end i will tell u this its totally worth it I'm still with her and its been 2 years for the both of us but good luck.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

well first off, i would say this. you need some time apart to heal. guys are like that, trust me ive been there. its like, they do something wrong and they seem to thing just because they admit their mistakes everything is supposed to be ok and us women are supposed to just forget about it and never bring it up again. my last man cheated on me several times during our 7 yr marriage, and i always forgave, but could never forget, and i would bring it up during fights as well. its woman nature to let our men know that they messed up and no matter what we fight about, we will always have one up on them. he gets mad and says bad things cause he knew what he did was wrong and he does not want to reminded of it. to that i say, if you stray from the relationship, you should remember that it will be something that is always brought up throughout the entire time you are together. i look back at my relationship and think, if i just would have left then and took some time for me to heal, maybe i could have forgotton about it and moved on. but everytime you look at him, its a constant reminder of what he did wrong, and you will soon start to hate him for it. hes the one that messed up. it shows (in a weird sort of way) that he still cares for you when you say you are going to cheat and it makes him mad. men cannot handle it like women can. my best advice that i can give to you is to get away for awhile. give yourself time to clear you head and your heart. make a list of reasons you stay and reasons you should go. the trust has been broken and will take years to get back. it will drive you crazy to think about what he is doing when he is not with you. take sometime for yourself, for your sake. no man is worth all the stress. if he truly loves you, he will go out of his way to get you back. if he does, dont go back right away, give it some time. only you will know when you are ready to move on with your life, with or without him. let me know what happens and feel free to contact me anytime and i will give you advice whenever you need it. good luck.

Answer 8

katie, you need to find someone who does not cheat, never stay in an irritated environment, you will get hurt physically and emotionally, emotional scars never heal, if you truly love someone set them free, their actions speak louder than words, if he wants and needs your love he will not vary from his course of love for you, but if he strays he never was, love rocks!

Answer 9

you in love with him although he cheated on you....dump him..try to find some else who willing to love you and make you happy....

Answer 10

i thing you should leave him cause you will always think about it and throw it in his face plus why waste your time