I'm really having a stuff time with my mom ...?

Question

...and I feel like literaly killing myself but I know that's wrong to
do but she won't let me do anything and I just need to do
something to get over my anger like
A)smoking
B)cuting myself
C) runaway
i'm confused and it's too much to deal with since I'm inly 14
Please somebody help and give me advice

Answer 1

Your mom is trying to look out for your best interest.When you are older you might appreciate that more.Perhaps you could take your anger out in other ways such as drawing,singing,or taking up a sport in school.It may be a good idea to see some professional help b/c your anger remedies right now can do a lot of harm to you1Good luck and I hope things work out for you!

Answer 2

Your mom loves you very much. She has made a lot of sacrafices for you in the hope that you will have a full enriched life.

As a mom all you can do is try your best. We don't have a manual on how to raise a healthy well-rounded person. We can go to yahoo answers or read as many books as possible but doing her best is the best she can do. And even the most well meaning moms make mistakes without knowing.

As a baby and young child a mother makes all the decisions for her child. As a child grows and becomes more independent it is hard for a mother to realize that she is growing up and will be out in the world without "holding your hand".

Talking to your mom is the best way to resolve any conflicts you may be having.

Answer 3

14 is a really hard age for girls and their moms. You are pulling away from her and trying to figure out what kind of woman you are going to be. She is scared, because she sees you pulling away, so maybe she comes down on you harder.

Now, you are in a really bad cycle...you pull away more, she comes down even harder, until something has to break...this is why you feel so angry and so confused.

Smoking isn't really going to help, it just wrecks your skin and makes you smell bad.

Cutting might make you feel better temporarily, but it won't solve the problem.

If you run away, where will you go? and won't that just confirm everything your mom is afraid of?

Since it is summer, is there a family member, neighbor, or friend, you can stay with...even if it is just for a week...that will allow both you and your mom to calm down and get things into perspective?

If your mom can afford it, could you suggest going to counseling with her? That way you have a safe place to talk things over with her...don't assume the therapist will take her side just because she is paying for it...the therapist will help you figure out a way to get what you want and make your mom feel more comfortable with your choices.

You can also try writing your mom a letter. If you are upset because she won't let you go to a party (just an example), explain why you are upset and all the reasons you think you should go (you've done your chores, you'll respect her curfew, you'll be with people she trusts, etc.)

If you are calm and make good arguments, she may be willing to see things your way and she will be impressed by your willingness to communicate with her.

The next few years are going to be really rough for both of you, but know that your mom wouldn't be so hard on you if she didn't really care.

Answer 4

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself and your family. Right now you are angry and want to do something to hurt her. You are at a very difficult age and I truly believe that if a young person can survive the stresses of being 12-15, they will survive life. Your mom recognizes that you still need protection, and yet your mind is developing and you feel like you really want to spread your wings and discover who you are. That is going to cause conflict. It sounds like you need to "train" your mom to know that you are trustworthy. How can you do that? Take small steps at a time. Take the initiative and do something mature and responsible for her without being asked. Then ask for a small special privilege. Perhaps something that would only be an hour or so. Show her you can be trusted by letting her know exactly where, with whom, and when you will be back. Then keep your word. Keep building on these small steps and you will gain greater freedom. Good luck.

Answer 5

Sweetheart I've had those same feelings with my mother. I don't know if your mother is doing it out of love but I had to find out the hard way over the years that it was intentional because my mother really didn't like me, didn't want to have me and she hated my father. I felt like doing certain things like that. Some of those things I even did. I ranaway from home, I smoke all the time. But not to get back at her, why would I if I'm always trying to hide it or not let her catch me. Cutting was never a thought but I did overdrug myself with "certain" pills that I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks. But I never told the doctors why. I made a lie and said that I did it at a party because It was a dare (I could of killed myself). What I'm trying to say. Even though till this day my mother and I didn't have a good relationship I am glad to say that i appreciate the fact that she kept a roof over my head, I was fed. Never starved and I showered and slept in a bed. She never wanted me to go anywhere. I felt like it was unfair when some of my friends stayed out late and I was given an hour. She didn't like me, but she made sure I wouldn't hurt or kill myself out there at that age that I already felt grown up. Give it time, you will learn from it and it will build you up. If you still have a bad relationship with your mom's don't hurt yourself or feel like she doesn't love you because you will put that into your head and then you will feel alone. Alone is not a really bad thing. But sometimes it may feel like it. But just remember, that you still have you and you can never forget about yourself or deny yourself as a lady. If you won't let your mother do it, than do it yourself and teach yourself to respect yourself.

Answer 6

You need to realize that this is probably a hard time for both of you. She's having to deal with you growing up and changing from her baby into somebody she doesn't know yet. Try to see the situation from her point of view and maybe that will help with some of the anger. As for the rest of it, I really wouldn't reccomend smoking, cutting or running, Go hit something, listen to angry music, or get on a video game and kill animated characters. That helps me.

If you don't have a video game console, try Runescape. It's free and online.

Answer 7

Hey, I dont know much about your situation, but I do know nothing is worth messing up your own life over. There is always some one you can talk to, or go to. Smoking, you dont want to do that, when you get older you will end up with half a lung, running away is not the answer, the grass is not always greener on the other side, and it only worsens the situation,. And cutting your self, I dont know about you but I dont like that kind of pain. You can always talk to a pastor, call a hot line of some kind. Or a counelor at school. Think about it , ok

Answer 8

14 is a tough age. It seems like nobody will let you have any independence....just hang in there it will pass, I promise! If you need to talk I am hear to listen. Ihave children and 4 of them have already passed the 14 year marker. Some adult insight to how it is being the parent of a 14 year old may help.

Answer 9

The choices you give yourself are not practical. They are harmful and they turn your anger INWARD! If at all possible, talk with your father, stepfather, grandparents, or someone who can direct your anger toward POSITIVE activities or hobbies! I'm not trying to say that none of this is your fault, but I only have your side of the story! Nevertheless, it would be advisable for you to channel your negative emotions into positive actions. Please keep us posted on how you're doing, and best of luck to you!

Answer 10

Killing yourself isn't the answer. It's the ultimate end, no way to make amends, and nothing gets solved.
Just what is it you need to do? Sounds to me you aren't doing yourself any good, maybe you should talk to your mom. I don't mean pick a fight, I mean, listen to what she has to say.
Mother's are fearce defenders of their kids, they will do anything to keep them safe. She wants what is best for you and is willing to piss you off to do it. She also wants you to be happy, yes she does don't roll your eyes at me :) Maybe you can reach a compromise.