How can I fill the hole in my life i just want to be loved by some1?

Question

I know this may sound strange but the only thing that i can think of is a baby cuz no matter what my baby will love me cuz im its mom and that is what I have a passion for is babies but i want my own but im 15 and cant have my own yet so in the mean time how can i fill the empty hole in my life i just feel so down and out and i am already on medication for it and it works but i still feel like im not loved and i just want my boyfriend or some1 to love me like that can any1 help plz?

Answer 1

First of all let me suggest you not even think about having a baby. Not because you're so young but because you want one for the worst possible reason.

You need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can learn to love you. I'm not saying that's easy. I've over 50, and have been struggling with it all my life... I think I'm there- if I haven't burned all the bridges by now.

And let me clarify, learning to love yourself doesn't mean you just go out and act all narcissistic (self-centered, spoiled) like some people seem to think when they hear that.

I find it helps to do things that help others or improve the world in some way. When I do good for others I feel good about myself. Get involved with life- go places, do things. Find a way to make a difference. (volunteer work- visit your grandparent they'll appreciate it) Walk in the forest and appreciate nature. Look for what beauty there is in the world. It's easy to see what's wrong with the world, but there's still much to appreciate if you expand your consciousness and become aware.

Above all don't compare yourself or your situation with others around you.

Do search and find the words to the poem, Desiderata. It will help you understand. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't take half a century to get to know yourself and appreciate life, like I have.

Answer 2

A baby is not the answer! You would be asking that baby to fill in the place of an adult, and that baby is the one who needs to be loved! I used to feel the same way that you are feeling right now! Just concentrate on your life right now....learn to love yourself. Get some great friends that you can just talk to and go out with! If you're anything like me, than you have a hard life right now. I'm telling you that it will get better!

If you bring a baby into this world, just so that you can have someone love you...than you are more selfish than you think! And it'll be harder for you to find a bf with a baby at home. Because you won't be able to do the things that teenagers are suppost to do....dances, parties, or whatever! You'll regret it in the long run!

Answer 3

You need to be in counseling. It has helped many people. So, please do that for yourself and enjoy your youth--15? Wow. If you have a baby, you can almost teach it to drive when your 30... Imagine that. I am 29 and have felt the same way you have, (except for the bably) and I am so glad that I went to college and waited to get married. Not everyone has a great childhood, but make the most of it--you can make it better for yourself. It is ok to ask for help. I found that praying and going to church helped filled a void, so maybe give it a try.--You may really feel good evening joining a youth group there. So check out some churches that you may be interested in attending. Plus, taking up a hobby, instrument, sport, club or any extracurricular activity might help you feel more fullfiled and proud. Maybe even do some volunteer work in your community. Plus, think about your future--life as an adult, college...and make a short term plan. You don't have to know what you want for sure, but find out what you don't like and that may guide you (school, activities,etc.) It is important to understand that doing major life changing things like having a baby or getting married or moving away or getting a sex change(a little dramatic:), are all that--LIFE Changing. You can not do something like that--having a baby--to fix you or to fill a void. That is not really the purpose, or at least not at your age--15. So, make some plans, have fun, go out with your friends and your boyfriend, be safe--(sex and all-abstinence if possible), and think about going to church and doing other activities. Helping others will fill a void. You will feel good about yourself and that will be so rewarding. Keep a journal daily or weekly and see what is going on and if someone--like your boyfriend or your parent or something else, is causing you to feel this way, then talk to them. You may really want to see a counselor, even if only at school, but I would reccommend seeing one elsewhere--you get an hour and it is confidential still and you may be more open to talk to them. That is up to you. But you may have depression or some form or anxiety. I can't think of the paricular one that comes to mind, but I have heard this term before.hmm., oh well. If you go to counseling, they can guide you and help you more that anyone on here, so that is what I would do if you are feeling really down. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You should and will feel proud of yourself for going, once you feel better. I see that you say you are on medication. That is a good start, however you need to go to counseling to find the source of your problems or worries. Plus talk to your doctor. You may have to try different medications to find the one that is right for you.--Believe me, that is what I had to do. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 4

Invest in you right now. I applaud you for seeking medication and therapy but a baby is a 18 year commitment. I think you should develop who you are and want to become. Join a club after school or a book discussion group or take karate or pottery at a local business. Think about college, (education courses involve children and that will be helpful for when you do become a parent)and think about how to fix your hair and make-up and different looks you can create with your wardrobe. You won't have time for yourself when you become a mom....I know, I'm a mom and even though my kids are 12 and 9 there's very little time I get to spend on myself. My time is coming around again...but I'd hate to see you give up your teen age time to do something that can certainly wait. Waiting will make you a better person, a better mother, and once you do have a child, there's no turning back.

Answer 5

Stacy,

I hope this doesn't offend. The first is love yourself. That means, you need to find the goodness in you. Which, it shows you have a lot of giving in you but, babies, are not to fill someone's life. That is not the answer. It's not fair on the child. They are born from a lot love, affection and the hole in your life, must be filled by you not anyone else.

The first is, you need to find a purpose in your life; a dream, to achieve, because when you have a child, then you can't put yourself first but the child, and one has to face responsibilities then, and not give them to parents but stand up on their own two feet.

So, first find out your dream. Your pasion in life. Sit down, write down 5 things you want to achieve. The world is big, and people need people like you to give.

You see, you want to be loved but maybe, it is the other way. You might have to give before you recieve. I don;t mean look for a boyfriend because that's the right answer either.

Many elders in hospital and no one visits them. Kids in hospitals who have no parents and need a friend. You have parents, then give to them. People want to be loved but don't realise, love is about giving without wanting anything back.

And when you continually give to your parents, your families, your aunties, friends, be there for them, then all the love will come back a thousand fold.

Give and you will recieve, with plenty of love but don't think a baby is what needs to fill a hole. A child is much more than this.

Answer 6

I don't know if you've ever heard this before but God loves you. And there are people who can show you his love everyday. Not just in words or some gushy feeling, but true love in action by being there for you when you are lonely. Try to find a Christian radio station and call in - my local station is 1-800-456-8910. They can help put you in touch with others to talk to you. God has a special plan for you that includes people who love you. I know what lonely is but God made us with a spirit and until that spirit part of us is taken care of there's a hurt and a hole inside that can't be filled with anything else.

Answer 7

You have spoken honestly for men to see. Seventy-five percent of males are players and feel they belong to a group.The other twenty-five are outsiders and feel left out. They soon become depressed and have bad expectations for love and life. Only five percent, I estimate, of females are raised as outsiders. In USA they do suicide only one-quarter as much as the white males. Chose an outsider for a friend or a mate as you have more in common with them. If you follow the winners around life will be sadder. We all have to learn these things.

Answer 8

Join a sports team. Or better yet get a job volunteering in a hospital, like a candystriper, or if you can do it at 15 in a children's mental home. Those kids will love you to the point of breaking your heart. I know because I did it in college.

Answer 9

I think everyone feels that way around that age. I remember getting depressed a lot at 16, but when I got to around 20 I joined the military and didn't have time to think that way lol. Just hang in there.

Answer 10

I know how u feel and it will go away. But first u have to figure out y that hole is there. How'd it get there? Until u find that out u should just keep ur self busy with small project type things.