Pls give the best joke that you heard lately.....?

Question

Your fav...

and thanx for it.

It must be your all time fav

Pls, I want to here your best joke.

King yellow
It is falling
everybody are funny.....It is difficult to select best answer

Pls Join this group

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ilovejokes/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/guyzpranks/

Answer 1

Little Timmy had been to the hospital with a broken leg. He is now getting better. The doctor comes into the hospital room and asks Little Timmy, "What are you going to do once you get out of this hospital?" Little Timmy looks at the doctor and says with a serious expression "I am going to buy a box of Tampax". The doctor, with a confused look asks "Why?", Little Timmy says, "Well I saw them on TV and the ad said that with them you can swim, go skating, and do whatever you want."

Answer 2

14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working Out


14) You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.

13) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.

12) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."

11) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she
learns you're worth 45,000 points.

10) "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again."

9) Your cyber-lover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.

8) Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.

7) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms.

6) You can barely make out your S. L.'s face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.

5) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.

4) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.

3) She's suddenly changed her address to [e-mail]

2) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious [e-mail]

1) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.

Answer 3

A plane crashed onto an island, killing all passengers except three men. The island was lush with many different types of fruit trees, and the men set off to search for help. All of a sudden, a group of tribespeople surrounded them with spears. Their chief stepped up and threatened to kill them if they didn't do two tasks. The first task was to each find ten of one type of fruit.

The first man brought back ten apples. The chief told him that if he stuffed the apples up his anus without changing his facial expression, he would be set free. The man stuffed the first and second apples up his rear without flinching. However, at the third apple, he grimaced a little and was, thus, killed.

The second man brought back ten cranberries. The chief told him what he had to do to survive, so he proceeded to insert the berries into his anus. He was doing well up until the ninth berry, when he started to laugh uncontrollably. He was then killed.

On the way to heaven, the second guy ran into the first guy. The first guy asked the second guy, "Why did you laugh? You were so close to stuffing all the berries up your butt and surviving."

The second guy replied, "I saw the third guy coming. HE WAS CARRYING PINEAPPLES."

Answer 4

What does a blond think safe sex is?
Locking the car door.

yo mamma so poor people break in and leave her money.

Yo mamma so dumb that the other day I saw her yelling into an envelope. And when I asked her what she was doing she said sending a voice mail.

Yo daddy so ugly that when he looked out the window he got arrested for mooning.

Yo family so poor that all the rainbows in your neighborhood are black and white.

Yo mamma so fat that when she jumped in the ocean all the whales sang " we are family.... even though you're bigger than me."

Yo mamma so dumb that when she was driving to Disney World. She saw a sign that said Disney World left. So she turned around and went home.

Yo mamma so dumb that I caught her staring at an orange juice container for three days because it said concentrate.

Answer 5

Mental?

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming
pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the
bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in to save
him. He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out.

The medical director came to know of David's heroic act...
He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the
Mental hospital, as he considered him to be okay.

Doctor: We have good news and bad news for you, David!
The good news is that we are going to discharge you because
you have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump
in and save another patient you must be mentally stable.

The bad news is that the patient whom you saved, Mr. John hung
himself in the bathroom, and died. David replied, Doctor he
didn't hang himself, I hung him there to dry.

Answer 6

What do Michael Jackson and cavier have in common?



They both come on a little crackers.

Answer 7

its not quite a joke but its sorta like a tounge twister

try saying "irish wristwatch"

its really tricky lol

Answer 8

A WEIRD THING HAPPENS IN THE WORLD AND ALL HUMANITY DIES.
IN HEAVEN THERE IS ST PETER AND SAYS TO EVERYONE: GIRLS TO THE LEFT BOYS TO THE RIGHT.
ALL GIRLS WENT TO THE LEFT AND BOYS TO THE RIGHT. aFTHER THAT HE LETS ALL THE GIRLS IN AND THEN SAYS:ALL THE GUYS THAT ARE DOMINATED BY WOMEN TO THE LEFT AND THE ONES THAT DOMINATE WOMEN TO THE RIGHT.
ALL MEN WENT TO THE LEFT EXCEPT FOR ONE SINGLE GUY. ST. PETER WAS VERY SHOCKED THAT THERE EXISTED A MAN WHO DOMINATED WOMEN SO HE ASKED: TELL ME, WHAT DID YOU DO TO DOMINATE A WOMAN?
THE GUY ANSWERED: I DUNNO, MY WIFE TOLD ME TO STAND HERE!!

*THERE WERE 2 TOMATOES IN A FRIDGE AND ONE SAYS TO ANOTHER: ITS FREEEZING COLD IN HERE!!!!!!!!!
AND THE OTHER YELLS: ****!!!!! A TOMATOE THAT TALKS!!!

Answer 9

Dr---I have bad news and worse news
man---what is the bad news?
Dr---u have 24 hrs to live
man---what is the worse news?
Dr------ I forgot to call you yesterday
LOL

Answer 10

i heard ione yesterday. im not sure of if its new or not. anyways.

Sardar and his family go to a party. the host introduces them to others.

guest: hello, im david

Sardar: hello, im sardar.

*he points to his wife*

sardar: she sardarni

*he points to his son*

sardar: he kid

*he points to his daughter*

sardar: she kidni (kidney)