i have been with the man that i do love and have 3 kids with but he just got out of jail and cheated on me last week and now he keep on doing things like when he is at home he turn off his cell phone and do things like that then he ask me everynight am i going to leave him like he knows he is doing me wrong and he don't have no one to lean on besides me i want to leave him because i'm not happy please help! what to do?
2006-06-17 13:25:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Leave the relationship - not only for your sake, but for your kids, who are the most important ones here and who, though young, are learning that his behavior and yours are acceptable. Eventually they will come to realize that it is okay for men to be losers, and women are expected to put up and shut up. This is not so.
The guy is a loser with a capital L, and you do not deserve to be treated like this by anyone, especially him. You aren't happy because you are not in a healthy, loving, and life affirming relationship. Instead, you are with a guy who just got out of jail and just cheated on you last week?? Hon, this worries me a lot in this day and age, with AIDS and other dangerous STD's out there. His need to satisfy is sexual urges by sleeping with others is selfish, especially now when sex can kill you. You become an unwitting participant in his sexual dalliances and could be exposed to STD's. That's bad enough, but AIDS kills. I just want to urge you to please, please get yourself tested for AIDS and other STDs now.
The fact that he is turning off his cell phone is another pause for concern. He is afraid that whomever he gave that number to will call him when he is at home. He is afraid that he will be found out, or worse, that you will pick up the phone and know that the caller is female. He asks whether or not you will leave him because he knows what he is doing is wrong, and yet he is terrified you will leave because, well, someone else may not put up with his nonsense. Unfortunately, you allow him to behave this way unconsciously. This is called enabling. You have given him permission to get away with the things he does and sadly, he will continue to do them unless you put a stop to it.
Since I don't know whether or not he is an abusive man, be careful. Plan things very, very carefully; let people know - only those that you absolutely trust - what is going on, and get out. If you don't have a job, get one. Save the money you earn for rent for an apartment. Give yourself permission to leave him because it is better for you and your kids in the long run. Save your own life and your sanity, and if that is too hard, do it for your children. Seriously.
2006-06-17 13:51:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Pea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and save some money so you can move! If your scared do it a little at a time and when he"s at work move the big stuff! You can"t stay with a man that cheats on you, no telling what you will catch! The kids don"t need to be around all that arguing! You can file for child support after you move out! Just make sure you have his ssn and place of employment!1
2006-06-17 13:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by single mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bypass for your college counselor. you're a teenager and your emotions would properly be truly generic. even if, you're wise to ask a figure/dad or mum to communicate with a counselor or a doctor. often times, melancholy is inherited and on your gene pool. there is not any longer some thing incorrect going to the physician and getting some thing to stability your moods. PMS and different correct issues influence females of their young ones more effective than boys. good success and save status tall. And save in recommendations, that is okay to cry. That receives rid of stress contained in the body. that is a more effective positive reaction than anger or breaking issues.
2016-11-14 22:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I waited for my husband to come home from prison, and the minute he got out, he got into drugs again, and evntually cheated on me with several different women. It was extremely heartbreaking, but you know, it isnt his feelings you need to consider here, he gave that right away when he was messing around with someone else. Take care of you, and your 3 beautiful kids. I kicked my hubby's *** to the curb recently, and believe me, I am much happier now not wondering what he is doing all the time!
2006-06-17 13:31:55 · answer #4 · answered by nellieb_959 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say go to marriage counseling, pray every night, and if you still think he's cheating then kick him out, i know its hard with 3 kids but atleast you can just kick him out and you dont have to worry about finding a place with all the kids.
2006-06-17 13:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Kristi A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. By continuing to have kids by him your just making the situation worse. Why WOULD he stop treating you bad??? You take it. He has ABSOLUTLELY no reason to ever respect you or treat you decently, you don't require or ask for it. So leave him and when/if he ever grows up, demand it of him.
2006-06-17 13:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am male. had a bad woman. in the short. It took me a long time to get to the point where I left. Get out fast. go to a woman's center and get help. Treat you self to this one. It's a present to your self for life. don't let him bring you down.
LOVE YOU FIRST THAN ANOTHER AFTER
2006-06-17 13:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by Robert M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do this to yourself anymore. if you feel he's cheating, break away quickly, especially if you guys have kids. it's no good to raise kids in an environment where one (or both) parents aren't happy. good luck.
2006-06-17 13:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to single mom.she's correct.save money first then find a place to move on with your kids
2006-06-17 13:55:29 · answer #9 · answered by ♫♀ sakura ♀♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop threatening to leave and and just do it.
2006-06-17 13:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by Duckie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋