i think my cleaner is taking advantage of me!?
she comes every week to clean my flat. sometimes she comes early, sometimes late, and i never complain.
When i pay her i always round off the figure - so if the bill is $9.50, i always round it up to $10.
once i came home half an hour late and she was waiting for me in the cold. i told her i was sorry but she was quite pissed off. Before i could say that i would of course pay her for that half an hour, she was rude and told me i had to pay! i was quite upset with her tone but i didn't say anything - i was too embarresed.
and once i rang her and asked her not to come as i was very tired but she said it was too late and in 5 minuets she will be standing outside the door. but she came half an hour late damn it!
any advice on how can i take control without being rude?? why are people taking advantage of me!! i enjoy being nice to people and caring for them! HELP!
i'm even to scared to say no to give money to charity peo
2006-06-17 13:23:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My dear young Lady, you HAVE to learn how to say no. As for your cleaning lady, fire her immediately. She's taking vast advantage of you. If you can't do it,(which you really should try at least) then ask someone who can (your Mom, a friend a cousin). Make certain she knows "why" she is being let go. You don't need to be rude. You simply need to be firm. I use the "Mom voice" (unfortunately I have a lot of experience with it..sigh) when people are rude or short with me. I do not allow them to do so. You are a good person. You deserve respect from your employees (even if there's only one) and you deserve your own respect. Good luck, dearheart.
2006-06-17 13:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sugar...you're going to have to learn to stand up for yourself. First off? Fire your cleaning lady. You need a new one that will be on time. Look at it this way, if you went to work whenever you felt like it, how long would you have a job?
Look, Sweetie, there's a difference between being a ***** and standing up for yourself. Until you learn to do this, people taking advantage of you is going to continue.
The next time the charity people call and ask for money, or the volunteers perched outside the department store hit you up for change, just say, "No thank you." and that's it. You don't have to whip out a gun and tell them to beat it! And they won't see you that way if you just politely say "No thank you."
Be careful, Sweetness! Such a kind heart can put you in a world of hurt if you continue on this way. Always be kind, but do make it a point to be kind to yourself - i.e. Learn to say no.
Remember, you can't please everyone. And lucky for you...you don't have to.
2006-06-24 00:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by kadara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fire the b**ch! you don't need her. She's just a waste of money. The only reason she has a job is because of you. You should clean your own home. That way, nothing's stolen and it's cleaned the way you like it. No need for stress in your life. Grow a pair, why don't ya?! You need to learn confidence soon, if not, you'll always be a doormat. Not just in this situation, but in every aspect of your life. Be assertive and aggressive, but that doesn't mean you have to be a b**ch. IYou are too much of a people-pleaser...stop it. People see that and they will take advantage of you. Stand up for yourself, put your foot down, and good luck. It's not good to always play the victim.
2006-06-18 01:38:13 · answer #3 · answered by M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being scared. Stop "rounding off" your bill too...pay her nickels if you have to! ok - I have to take her side a bit too. She had a right to be angry after waiting in the cold so long (anyone would be unhappy under those circumstances) but let that incident slide. Also, you should give her more than 5 minutes cancellation notice.
Learn to say "No". Read a self-help book on assertiveness training (sorry, don't know one off the top of my head).
2006-06-17 20:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Signilda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know how to say "NO"?.
1. Learn to clean your own mess to start with.
2. Stop letting them take advantage of you.
3. When the situation warrants, tell someone to take a walk
4. Make sure you are not joking
5. Good Luck.
2006-06-17 20:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by Bantree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know you are not a toy and you are not to be played with. Snap on them and tell them off. Girl you are a human not a damn dog. Keep your head up and if they don't stop knock the hell out of them trust me they will get the hint!!!!
2006-06-17 20:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by Angelia W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say this but have you heard of a backbone,grab one and start to pick up for yourself.don't take any more from anyone. tell them what you truly feel, if they don't come back, then oh well,put yourself first.I know from where you come, but if someone doesn't like me once i voice my opinion, OH WELL IT'S THEIR LOSS.
2006-06-17 20:46:27 · answer #7 · answered by silkyrose12345 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd fire the ungrateful wench.
You're the boss, not her.
You can't be concerned about others' feelings if they don't care about yours.
2006-06-17 20:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by theswitch3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to be assertive. Say, "no." Or say, "I am moving, thanks for your service."
Me, personally, I'd be assertive and get it over with. And have a member of family there just in case.
2006-06-19 05:48:39 · answer #9 · answered by Adam Taha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres no way to NOT be rude... its YOUR house not hers... you dont have to pay her squat if you dont want to ..... and if she insists on it, and continues to come to your house and you dont want her there, call the damn cops and have her arrested
2006-06-17 21:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by shortyonwheelz2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋