Need Answers for My Husband that Desires Anal?

Question

We are Christians (married 14 yrs) but my husband comes from a very fast crowd. We have battled this issue for a while.
I don't want it, I don't feel it is proper not to mention uncomfortable and non hygenic. I don't want to make him feel like a freak, perverted or anything.
I am not a prude, but I don't think this is what God wants me to do. I would do almost anything for him if I thought it was okay with God and we realy enjoy ourselves within our marriage. What if it was one of the last options for a couple? Then what? God did not intend this to used for pleasure but to get rid of waste, right?

Ty e1, it was informative to read all your replies and I don't plan to give in. It's a once in a while backsliding moment when he brings it up. He says he doesn't want me to do anything I don't want to do and he wouldn't enjoy it if I didn't. Infact, when he is doing well, which is most of the time, it's not an issue.

Yes, we do oral, got no problem with that. in fact, we ahem, even incorporated toys a couple yrs ago. I have an illness that makes me very tired and these help spice things up. I used to feel so guilty for taking so long because I had no energy and he had to work so hard. At one time, I felt guilt for this as well but we worked through it. We have more fun now than we did before. I was able to read my question and your replies and he was totally cool with it and we had a GREAT TALK! Thanks again.

Answer 1

I'm with you; I don't see the appeal of that way but some people dig it. If he really can't let it go, maybe you could just try it once, as sort of a wifely sacrifice, and then if it's uncomfortable for you, I'm sure he won't want to repeat it. I pray that this isn't one of your last options. In my view, it's sodomy, and I can't see God approving it as a regular practice. Blessings to you!

Answer 2

I don't understand why,if you said no he,should need anything else.
Maybe he ought to be made to feel like a freak or perverted.
As a christian man and the steward of God's gift to man where did he come up with that revelation?
Fourteen years and that's the best he can come up with?
I don't know what the situation is but I can bet there's a better way to solve than forcing you to do an unnatural act.
That borders on abuse.There are decent Christian men looking for loyal loving helpmates.You might want to inform your husband his satisfaction is not the only satisfaction that needs to be met in your relationship.
Have him check these scriptures out :1 Corin11:3 :Ephes 525-29
!Corin.7:1-7.Some men will try to use verse 4 as the selling point but read on.The scripture says coupls belong to each other so you have just as much right to tell him what not to do as he has to tel you what to do.
May Jah be with you
Sincerely.

Answer 3

If you and your husband are both Christians, I assume you both share the same beliefs??
If this is the case, then surely God would not have put the idea into your husbands head in the first place!?

You are in a wonderful marriage that has lasted 14 years. That is a tremendous feat in this day and age and I applaud you both.
God should not control your sexual urges. The only person who has to deal with this issue is yourself.
If "non-hygenic and uncomfortable" are the only things stopping you, use a condom and some lubrication.
I again assume that you and your husband enjoy all the other parts of sex? Do you perform and recieve oral sex? Anal sex is just another exploration of the body.
You are married to a perfectly normal human being. You are not married to God! If God thought it ok for your husband to beat you and your husband wanted to give you a good slap, would you allow him to do it because it ok in his eyes??

Get real!!

Do what makes YOU comfortable. If YOU don't want to do it, then don't do it. Many women find this degrading and uncomfortable so they choose not to do it for those reasons, not because of their religious beliefs!!

Answer 4

Your asking us God's will for you or every couple? That's unfair we don't know! Some couples enjoy anal sex and read the Bible and go to Church it certainly doesn't damn them! If it did it would be in Ten Commandments! Which is God's Law! I might add both the penis and Vagina are also used to get rid of waste so your theory went our the door. Prude? No who decides what a prude is and I don't think you are one. He wants anal hmm. and you feel this is against God's will! Do you give or receive oral? If the answer is yes well based on your theory this to violates God's will! OK enough preaching listen the simple answer isn't in your Bible or your Church! If you do not want to have anal sex then don't!!! You should NEVER be forced to do anything you don't want to. If your hubby cannot understand that then you married the wrong man!

Answer 5

Soooo, many people are giving you answers and I don't know if you'll even read mine. I know we all search for answers to questions that bother us. This question is an important one , because lot's of men request this of a woman. It is a given right that you turn you're husband down on this issue. First of all it can cause AIDs if unprotected. Another thing it can cause is hehmroids.(spell?). Usually it's a personal thing between a man and woman. He should respect your wishes. If he doesn't then his love for you is just in the form of lust. Your body belongs to you and you alone. Christion or not. Just be firm and tell him you love him , but that is an act that you will not accept. Be tactful though, and reassure him your love and devotion. Whew.

Answer 6

I am not married however, I have wondered about this myself. To me asking for anal is weird or desiring it even. I feel that if your husband truly respects you he wouldn't continue to ask you for something that he knows that you're uncomfortable with. I also see it as maybe he may have some sexual desire to be with men, maybe? I just don't think having relations this way is proper nor safe. I don't think God intended your anal area to be used for pleasure but to get rid of bodily waste. This form of sex is sodomy. I pray that you will find comfort and peace with this issue. And do not put your self-esteem and faith aside to do something that you will possibly regret later. Keep praying to God and tell your husband to please stop asking you for it right now.

Remember to be safe. Can you trust him not to seek this type of sex or sex of any kind from either a male or female? If you're not giving in to him, it very possible that he'll get it from another or others.

Answer 7

My two cents - don't ding me on grammar or spelling please

God made the human body with every sensitive nook and cranny for a reason. I wouldn't doubt God had to tell early man not to do it because they couldn't begin to grasp the concept of germs yet. Time passes and our knowledge grows and we learn to safely negotiate new pleasures almost like a physical reward for growing our minds.

Next do some research, there is also a reason so many people do like it, understand the pros and cons, understand what it is your man truly wants and then take charge and tell him how it is going to happen. If your like my mate if we had never tried it she would have never experienced a orgasm during sex. Not related to my ability but rather to her interiors. Besides if it doesn't turn out well then you have honestly given your best for your marriage, God will forgive and the situation will likely resolve itself.

Answer 8

I am kinky-folk, I do have to agree that if you don't like it cuz it makes YOU uncomfortable, then simply don't do it, and tell your husband to respect your feelings on this.

An idea.....tell him you would no longer "fight" on this issue---by turning around and walking away when he brings it up. I think he will get the idea eventually. If the battles persist, perhaps marriage counseling may have to be in order?

I don't think "god" should matter in this issue.....but YOUR personal feelings should matter rightfully so, as you would be the recieving end, not he.

Answer 9

If it was me here is what I would do.
Both pray together (out loud) about it every night for seven days.
Have a period of silence in the the prayer where the Holy Spirit can talk to you.
Look through the bible for guidance.

May God reveal his will for you.

Answer 10

If you don't want it then he should respect your wishes if he really loves you. As for anal I'm with you, do people no what comes out of there, why on earth would anyone want to go up there? I wouldn't crawl up a sewer, would you? I don't care how good peole said it was. Anyhow I believe if you have to go up there to enjoy sex you must be doing it wrong.