If you caught a live in - fiance skimming monies and had been banking it for 2 yrs, and you accidently found the vouchers for the account. She lied, told me amt for my half and my half was enough to cover everything. Clincher -- this is my house, she''s the llive in.
2006-06-17 11:51:27 · 25 answers · asked by joeeee 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I hate to sound naive, but what actual proof do you have that she was actually "stealing" the money?
is is remotely possibly she was taking the money for any other reason, take you on a surprise vacation?. SOunds wonderful I know. Lets say it is even worse, she was taking the money. How long have you been together? what are your ages? Do you have chidren who will suffer from the breakup? It is possible that she has a problem, a very bad one (no i am not talking about a sick aunt in MAine, but maybe she gas a gambling problem, or worse a drug addiction. What if she owes some scary goons money and they have been threatening to blackmail her or hurt her physically. I think you need to do one of two things
(1)nothing) keep monitoring the situation and although i am not normlly an advocate of invading anothers personal privacy, the circuastances call for it here. Use technology to find out for sure what she is up to. Place a tracer on her phone, car etc. if she is stealing catch her in the act. Have concrete proof. If she is in trouble and needs you ;are you going to be there for her? Do you love eher enough fo rthat?
I think you need more evidence b4 you make a hasty, rash decision about this woman that you suposedly love. Your actions will affect the rest of your life. I would just want to be 100% sure before I did anythign I may even remotely reget later, or that I could never take back.
2006-07-01 05:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by dreamwhip 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you considered she may have done it for another reason other than what you're thinking. It may be quite innocent maybe she is saving for the wedding , maybe for a wedding gift for you...maybe she's been dirt poor all her life and needed the security of having a little money tucked away. You may never know why she felt compelled to do this and it may have been quite innocent. In reality you asked and she answered and whilst you feel angry you are making judgements in thruth if you were my fiance I wouldnt want to marry you because you appear to be very judgemental and non-trusting...without trust there is no relationship. I have always had an "escape" fund (the name is a joke rather than a plan) I have only saved and spent from it on the family and my hubby. My advice is to take a long hard look at the relationship, if you want out be upfront and honest its the least anyone can expect.
2006-06-26 12:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by Just Thinking 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid I must vote for vengeance. Men are way naaive about women - they are just as shallow and predatory as we are (scary, huh?). If you can stomach it, get even. Which means get the money back, plus some of hers. She is probably greedy so capitalize on her greed. Here's a scheme. Think of something you desperately want (even if you can't afford it) that she equally dislikes. Find one you'd actually want to buy, then tell her you have stumbled on the bargain of the century and are going to mortgage the house to buy it, after which you will quickly sell it for 2x the price. Now, if you could just find someone with (fill in what she stole) you would make a legal partnership and share the profits, that it should only take a month from purchase to sale, all cash, big bucks, darling... Then buy it.
Then lavish time and money (both your monies - from the fix-up & sell-it account) on this thing she hates. Then just sit on it and say maybe you overestimated its worth. Bummer, darling, but we still have our love...
2006-07-01 11:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by Fred S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first Q is: Do you really love her? If the answer is yes, then you should probably deal with it in the way that you feel is best. Her sin will find her out...she wont get away with it forever and you need to at least confront her with the matter. One of the other answers was good too in saying that if she is lying to you now, what will she do later...my mother has always said that while dating or just before getting married the couple is usually on their best behavior and anything that bugs you now will really get on your nerves later. If this bugs you now and she is lying to you, then this could get way worse.
2006-06-29 11:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Just move on mate. I know it gets you but the first is, what you're going to get from telling the person? Nothing. For all you know, she might back fire with some sarcasm so you get burnt.
Just let it go and move on. I learnt whatever happens, everything comes around one day. Just learn from the experience.
2006-06-17 11:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by Adam Taha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You need to be up front with her and tell her you know she is a thief. You might even want to ask her to pay you everything she stole from you or you are going to file a police report against her.
2006-06-30 12:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by Samba Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her. Also tell her to return your money, in whatever time frame you decide, & if she fails to do so tell her that you will press charges for theft. Then dissolve that relationship immediately. Take lessons from this situation & never let anyone else control your money ever again.
2006-06-30 14:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope
2006-06-30 22:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not. If mistake any is happend we should give a chance of mend it by giving oral or in writing a warning. Almighty feel happy who pardoned to others on their committed sin.
2006-07-01 04:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by khadersa2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong for letting her take over the finances to YOUR place. That doesn't make what she did right though. You two definitely need to talk. Love has to include trust.
2006-06-17 11:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by crystalwitchayer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋