My grandmother died of emphysema because she smoked, I promised myself that I would not smoke to be with someone romantically who smoked. What happens if i meet someone who is so perfect for me, except for his smoking? Is it important enough to me to hang on to this guy or is my health and the health of any future children more important?
2006-06-17 11:25:38 · 28 answers · asked by di12381 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell him to quit
2006-06-17 11:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ilya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to be with you,and feels the exact same way about you he will be determined to quit! I am going through a similar situation, it is just the other way around! He does not smoke but I do. I have been smoking for a very long time, and once you get your self into this disgusting habit it is very hard to get out of it! He accepts that I smoke but I know that he does not like it, and he would like it if I would quit! So that is what I am doing, it will take some time but I have been wanting to quit for a very long time, I hate the smell and the harm that it can cause! Now that I have found someone that I want to be with and truly love for the rest of my life, I am doing my best to quit! If he feels the same for you ,he will do the same and quit also!!!
Good Luck,
And
God Bless You Both
2006-06-17 18:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is a smoker and I vowed never to be with someone who smokes because more than one member of my family has died and I just plain can't stand it but he's perfect for me and we are the perfect compliment. He used to smoke all the time but he's compromised and now he's much better. Two years later and he only smokes in places where its appropriate...like the bar where everyone is smoking anyway and if he needs to smoke then he'll go somewhere where it won't bother me, like outside. HOWEVER...it's he's not willing to change his smoking to include then he really isn't perfect for you. I'm actually the only one of my friends that doesn't smoke and I'm becoming quite a good influence on them. My dad smokes and my mom doesn't like it so he goes outside and my brother and I don't smoke. Smoking is a personal choice and just because you date someone that smokes 1) doesnt' mean you'll end up with him forever and 2) doesn't mean that he can't change his smoking habits to keep you around.
2006-06-17 18:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by easternchic2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance feels the same way you do for exactly the same reasons - he lost his g'ma too.
When he met me I was a smoker, which he hated, so I smoked around him as little as possible out of respect.
In the end, my man was much more important to me than skanky old cigarettes so I gave them up - much happier now and so is he!
The point is though, that he always said that he would never be with a smoker......until he met me. I never thought I'd stop smoking for someone else.....until I met him!
That's what love does - so keep an open mind and if you do happen to end up falling for a guy who smokes, well you may just be the key to making him quit.
2006-06-17 18:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you..I cannot tolerate smoking very well. I ended up marrying someone who smokes cigars and occasional cigarettes at work-when he is stressed out.
We have an understanding that he doesn't smoke around me, in my house or around my house. It seems to work out. Though..I always encourage him not to smoke because it is so bad for him.
I think what I am saying is that if a smoker comes into your life and he is really nice..let him know where you stand. That you don't want it in your home or around your future kids together. Help him to quit the habit even.
2006-06-17 18:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok... I think the reason why you've asked is because one part of you wants to accept him, and the strongest part of you (and rational one) doesn't. And well... the way you've put the story? YOU are saying you don't want to date or marry THAT guy.
And of course you are right.... your health and your future children's is way more important than passion.
Now, there's the faintest possibility that he might stop smoking. So what I'd do if I were you and he asked me out... is tell him that I'd love to, but (and then you give your reasons in detail). And well, let HIM choose what's more important to HIM: his life and dating you, or punishing his body and meeting someone who thinks doing that is just fine.
2006-06-17 18:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by elisatorres1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself. You have to decide which is more important to you - your health and the health of your future children, or a smoker who will light up when and where he wants to, not caring what he is doing to your health or the children's health.
Also, can you live with your house always reeking from the smell of smoke? And you yourself always stinking of smoke?
Not trying to be harsh, but that is the reality.
2006-06-17 18:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by innocence faded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a decision that YOU need to make on YOUR OWN . None of us can make that for you.
If you love someone you love them regardless of their faults.
Yeah I agree that second hand smoke is not the healthiest. There are couples who are married one smokes the other does not, if the one has to have a cigarette, the go outside, especially since there are children involved.
2006-06-17 18:32:22 · answer #8 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know about your concerns about smoking...tell him why you feel this way...if he's as perfect as you say he is...he'll understand and either quit and cut down or not smoke around you...But to ask a person to change is kind of a hard thing to do...If you knew he smoked before you were together you can't really expect him just to quit for you....you either have to deal with it or ask him to move on....good luck!
2006-06-17 18:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by *~*hunnie*bunnie*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be attracted to someone with such an abhorrent habit? I don't think you will need to worry about it because the smoking is a turn-off. The way they smell, the way they sound, their inconsideration for their own body and that of others. It's an unacceptable habit and I think that will be enough of a turn-off to you.
2006-06-17 18:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by evercurious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well is he loves you he will do anything to stop for you but you'll have to understand this is something that' might take several month and that he might be moody. I myself am a smoker and I have stopped smking for a woman after eight years of regular smoking habits...well the relation broke...I took over smoking... !
2006-06-17 18:29:35 · answer #11 · answered by Guillaumeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋