Am I too strict?? I don't allow video games, and won't get cable either. am I going too far?

Question

I had an eduacational video game for my five-year old, the V-tech, and I became very concerned when he would prefer it over any other toys, and going outside. When he played I noticed he was alomost zombie-like, which is one thing for an adult, but children's brains are still developing!! After a couple of arguments about it, I ended up getting rid of it. I also don't have television. We have a TV that we play videos and dvd's (approved by me) on, and that's it. I think the stuff on TV is garbage, and really negative.
I feel like I am making the right decision, but I wonder about his social interactions. We all remember how cool it was to talk about Atari, or Nintendo at school or whatever...("I made it to world 8, and beat the dragon!!") and I wonder if I'm setting my son up for feeling left out? If the kids at school or camp talk about the latest TV show, my son may wonder why he doesn't know what the hell they're talking about!!!
I want to raise a kind boy, but am I too strict

I would like to add that my son has lots of social activities in his life, and that I did not allow him to play the game for hours....I also realize that TV and video games are not the only thing involved with teaching kindness.... GREAT answers so far!! Thank you!

Answer 1

I don't think you're too strict. Let other people raise little couch potato zombie children who don't know the joys of reading a book, or learning to cook with mom, or of playing outside in the fresh air.
When I was a child we didn't have all these tv and video game amusements, and we found plenty of creative ways to fill our days. As I recall watching the Dukes of Hazzard on a Friday night with mom and dad was our big tv watch of the week.
I think Tvs and computers and video games are a lazy parents way of filling their childs days. Some, as a special treat, is fine.But you wonder why suddenly theres concern over obese children?. Its because they sit on their backsides all day and watch tv or play a game.
Let him watch some, if you're worried that he'll be excluded by other kids for not knowing what they're talking about, but limit it to an hour or two a day. Don't let him sit and just mindlessly watch all day, or he'll turn into one of those teens who seems to have a game controller attached to his hand all the time, and never leaves the house all summer.
Teach him that TV/Gaming isn't the only choice of things to do. And if possible make tv time a family time, where you all watch and share and learn.

Answer 2

ABSOLUTELY NOT TOO STRICT!!! Cartoon Network is absolutely the worst influence in children I have EVER seen. My son used to watch it all the time, until I actually paid attention to it and the ugly things they say to each other and the fighting and things that go with that. My son, who is 4 years old, would mimick this at preschool and get sent home. Now he is no longer able to watch that channel, nor is he allowed to play or watch any video games that include fighting or violence. I talked to him about it and he knows and understands why he can't do these things. When someone puts the channel on something with violence or fighting in it, he quickly tells them NO, my mommy said I can't watch that..and the tv gets put on the Disney Channel. Just think about this, one of my coworkers has 2 boys, both of which are older than my son and they don't own a television at all!!! So, you could be a lot more strict. Children may not like the decisions we make for them now, but when they get older they will appreciate you and respect you more for "keeping them straight" as young children. If your child is anything like mine, he's got a ton of energy that doesn't need to be wasted on video games and tv, he needs to be outdoors running and playing, like we had to do when we were kids!!!

Answer 3

I'm going to tell you what I think, I remember that when I was like 8 or 9 my mom had this friend of hers, she was a mother of 5 children and she is a psychologist, she never allowed her kids to watch TV or any movie (not even The Lion King!!! that was a crime for me at that time, lol) or play with video games but that's not what I remember the most about those kids (who at that time were also my friends) because for them was normal not to watch TV , what always got my attention was the fact that they were awful kids, they were always doing bad things, they were disrespectful with the grown ups and they were bullies at school.
Now all of them are teenagers and oh my!! they are terrible and still they cannot watch TV or use the internet.

I grew up playing video games, I remember watching my older brother playing with his Atari and I also remember my parents arquing about what kinds of games they should bought us and they always played with us and only gave us a limited amount of time for playing them. Even now when my "little" brother (he's 19) buys a game my mother "inspects" what he bought and still doesn't let him spent hours playing it.

So, in my opinion I think it's not about the TV or the movies or the video games (of course I don't mean they should watch whatever they want) , but about the values that you taught to your kid, it's the way you'll teach him how to choose between what's wrong and right, because at the end this is what will make your child a good and kind person.


I hope I helped and sorry about my grammar, English is not my first language.

Answer 4

Kids can live without video games, I did it... I never once had game cube or xbox in my house and I still dont... I'm 16 now and I'm glad I didnt have it... But no TV is a little extreme... You should let him watch TV but limit it, rather than endless hours infront of the tube, tell him he's allowed to watch one TV show a day, or he can watch an hour of TV... That way he can chose the show he wants to watch most and still have an active life and be able to talk about it at school...
If he tries to turn the TV on after his show or wont listen about how long he can watch, unplug the TV after, or put it up high, or in a cabnet he cant open, ect... that way you have complete control over how long he spends watching it, and dont forget to take away the clicker!

Answer 5

I don't see any problem with letting kids watch cable (they have a thing called a v-chip which you can activate and only a certain rating like G can play) or play video games. I suggest limiting the time. Say they can only have one hour of video games or something than he has to play outside or with his toys.

I agree he needs to participate in the things his friends like. He will most likely feel left out if he is the only one who has not seen Spongebob. But you can police what your son watches with the V-chip and they have rating on the video games. As he gets older you can gradually make your way up in ratings.

I don't see a problem with restricting how much he watches or play because honestly he needs to go outside and get exercise and stuff but I don't think it is bad if he watches or plays a little bit.

Answer 6

I think you might assume that controlling his interactions will automatically make him "kind", but it won't. A person is kind based on their own decisions in those interactions, the decisions they make on their own, and you CAN NOT be there for every single one. A better idea is to equip him to make those decisions. Talk to him about why you feel that way, and let him decide. It will make him feel more responsible, independent, and that you trust him, and you will once you see he makes good decisions. Just don't crash on him if he messes up sometimes- that's how we all learn, by making mistakes. So let him, and when he does, remind him of what you talked about, and he will make up his own mind, and the cycle will repeat. I know it sounds crazy, but it works. And you will not stress out every time he is on his own, because you will know already he can decide.
And I might also wonder about that game- could he have actually been concentrating? Games these days are MUCH more involved than they used to be. It looks all easy, but it's really not, and it might be he was concentrating, not necessarily just zoning out. You can tell if he responds to you in a tired, rdeary way when you interrupt meaning he is probably zombified, or if he's excited and focused, he's really into it.

Answer 7

I have a five year old, we let her use the computer on her own (approved sites-all others are blocked), we are buying her a Game Cube for her sixth birthday which has tons of age appropriate childrens games. We also let her watch TV with us and she has a DVD player in her room that we let her use.
The key is time limits. For every hour outside give the kid a half hour on what he wants. We do the "when your room is clean and homework is done" rule.
Raising a kind child is possible no matter what goes into their head, you cannot block everything forever. Parenting is the key to raising a nice kid, not what they watch.

Answer 8

I remember my parents being like that, which was fine for the most part, they went a step further, no rock music either. My brother and I just soaked it up when we were at our friends houses and visiting relatives. This was 20 years ago though, before the computers and internet. Eventually, my parents gave in on the Atari as long as we played at least 1 game of chess or educational game each day...

I think they gave up when I turned 12.

I would like to think that I will have common sense when it comes to raising my children and not over do it. Thats what it comes down to, you need to ask yourself, are you being sensable or unreasonable with your sons restrictions. Whatever your choice it's yours and yours entirely to make, no judgements from anyone else.

Answer 9

ok whoa hold up. first of all, what about the educational shows on tv? like discovery kids? or, hell, sesame street for that matter. most satellite & cable companies have parental controls and locks. however, it is a very good idea to limit tv & video game time. but completely??? no way. i've lived for most of my life without cable or satellite and let me tell you, it was really difficult as a child because other kids & even the teachers would talk about shows & i would feel really stupid and left out because i didnt have the first clue about any of it. not to mention the other kids ( & some teachers) acted like i was a weirdo or freak or something for not having cable or satellite. i remember several times, even on into high school, where we had actual class assignments to watch a show on tv & i was given big fat F's because of it. i do agree about the limitations on what kids should watch, but none at all?? too harsh.

Answer 10

No, you are not too strict. A child needs to be a child first before he gets sucked into too much TV, video, e-games, etc. I haven't had cable for 25+ years and raised 3 kids w/o it. Only now does my 18yo plays PS2 games and some online video games. She reads more than she does either and she graduated with a 3.0 and is headed for college. No damage done there.

Answer 11

yes I agree alot of tv is bad for kids..even some cartoons. I would limit the tv to 2 hours a day and to noggin or something like that. There are educational stuff on there. Then once a week pick out a family movie to watch together. He will rebel against this and sneak to his friends and watch bad stuff...I would lighten up but just make sure he watches "good Shows"