Additional data to "What do you qualify as a verbal attack and what do you qualify as constuctive criticism?"

Question

The conversation took place over the telephone. He was frustrated because his father is not caring for his mother who has developed Alzheimer's. He was trying to pack her clothes and was searching in her closet that apparently was in disarray. Neither of his parents keeps their home clean.
His comment was 'Now do you see why I am the way that I am?" He went on and on and on about how he was the way he was because of his upbringing and how is father this and his father that...
I have been listening to him for months state how since his father didn't do this or that, it has made him the way he. My comment to him was "You cannot continue to blame your father for your shortcomings. At some point in your life you have to take ownership of who you are as an adult."
I stated it very "matter-of-factly" and intended it as constructive criticism. He accused me of attacking him.

What do you think? Does is sound like an attack or constructive criticism.

Answer 1

You are trying to make a man out of him and I believe that is all you are going to do :trying. Stay long enough in this relationship and he will have a momma to cry over the shoulders while you will inherit a grown boy to raise in order to become a man. I said it before and again : It does sound like an attack, it is a constructive criticism.

Answer 2

I think the first part of your statement was constructive criticism but when you added shortcomings to the end of the statement it turned it into an attack. Nobody wants to hear they have shortcomings of any kind especially from your own children.

Answer 3

Very well put, constructive criticism. Sounds to me like someone maybe needs to grow up. Don't feel bad for what you said.
Often the truth hurts.

Answer 4

gave the impression of effective complaint, even yet it relies upon on the receivers state of suggestions as to HOW THEY take it. If he replace into basically gripping to gripe, then he took it as an attack. If he replace into truly searching for an answer, he could have taken it as effective complaint.

Answer 5

sounds like an attack