I'm a very observant person who analyzes every aspect of a person's behavior. People are often surprised that I can tell so much about their background and what type of person they are without knowing them well. Now & then I'm blinded by physical attraction & need a lil help.
This guy I went out with last weekend used to be married to a girl I worked with. She was very abusive, as was his first wife & his luck w/women has been bad, but he's always seemed real nice. He's extremely quiet but as I soon found out, not shy. He doesn't like to be alone & is very giving & cuddly. I really like him & we ended up going out b/c our daughters are b/f.
Before I went home last weekend he asked me out for this weekend, & made plans to go to six flags next weekend. He also told me he would drive up & visit during the week.
His daughter lives w/me & she said he'd be up but he's not answering his phone and he's vanished. What is the reason he's avoiding me?
2006-06-17 08:38:53 · 24 answers · asked by xtcgurl123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you be trappin' in da hood.......maybe you over analyze.
2006-06-17 14:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't assume its you first and foremost because your setting yourself up to be an enabler right off the bat. Second something could have happened to him, the fact that he hasn't called is odd. Has his daughter gotten in touch with him? I would ask her and basically convey the point that you find it odd that you made plans and he didn't show. I wouldn't act like your that interested in him as a relationship goes because maybe he got cold feet seeing as he has such a bad track record and you seem to be a normal person maybe he just got scared off. When he does come around though I would address why he did this in a non confrontational manor and see what he says keeping in mind the other two women before you were so abusive be careful how you handle it, but don't let him walk all over you either. Good Luck I hope this works out for you.
2006-06-17 08:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by rottenkid4560 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys disappear for the same reason women do. He's probably got another thing. I know it's hard to see, because you just don't want to see it. Don't live in denial. Let him be, remain friends if you can, but move on. Don't see him as a BF or lover or anything. You'll get yourself hurt. People, for whatever reason, keep going to the same types of people. If he has been with several abusive women, then it's not "bad luck." It's whatever it is that he's attracted to in women. Whatever that is, leads him to those types of women over and over. It's the same as women that keep getting with abusive men. Maybe he had an overbearing mother and we all know we are supposedly attracted to people similar to our opposite gendered parent. I thought I hadn't done that, but after four years with my fiance, I see so many similarities between her and my mother I want to cringe. I am not Oedipus!!! Anyway, I wish you luck, but don't put too much hope and faith in this relationship. Be friends for the sake of your daughters, but nothing more.
2006-06-17 08:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by spudric13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough to go on. So far I would have said that by the facts given he seems to have a different personality behind closed doors. He had 2 relationships before and both women were abusive. Logically this means he either chooses women who are abusive for a relationship (Which would mean that if you are not abusive he might subconsciously not want to have a long term relationship with you) or the way he is behind close doors converts women into abusive behaviors (He might have a submissive subconscious fetish that is manifested in this manner). But just disappearing when his daughter is waiting on him means an unexpected element is now in your equation. What or who can that element be? (By the facts given the disappearance might be one of the steps into converting a women to be abusive, but it has too small of a basis to be proven)
2006-06-17 08:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to know that if you have said anything negative in front of his daughter about not hearing from him you can bet she has told him. Second why do you keep calling him? Calling him once and leaving a message is okay but anything after that makes you look desperate. Stop calling and if you don't hear from him then you will know where you stand. I am sure you know this but when you first meet someone online ask them three personal questions about their life and write them down. A while later ask those same questions before agreeing to meet this person for real. If the answers have change ALOT then do not meet this person because he/she can not be trusted.
2006-06-17 08:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by Linda R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Your judgment is definitely clouded because you're being blinded by attraction. Pull the plug on this guy. Don't get involved in a romantic relationship with him. Otherwise I think you will be sorry. It's no coincidence that he is divorced from his 2 wives. Not that it's necessarily his fault, but what are the odds that both of them were abusive as he so claims. There may be more to the story than that. Don't become his third wife!
2006-06-17 08:44:48 · answer #6 · answered by Chrissy V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert, but maybe he has an unrealized fear of another bad relationship? Then again, maybe he is taking time to think things through?
The best thing in a situation like this is to talk it out, not to sit around and assume anything because until he tells you what is on his mind, all the analyzing in the world will still leave you guessing.
Good luck, Best wishes.
2006-06-17 08:45:40 · answer #7 · answered by gothope? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I understand that you're blinded by physical attraction & can't think as rational as you would like to, but hey love isn't rational it's emotional.Sounds like this guy has been abused by important women in his life in the past & he is afraid it's going to happen again especially since you are becoming important to him - he probably wants a relationship with you but he is afraid his luck will go bad again. Sooner or later he will contact you or his daugher &then you can talk,try to find out what's going then.
2006-06-17 08:59:38 · answer #8 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know your date of birth you can get your chart done and find out where the sun was when you were born. That way you'll know if you're a Virgo or Leo. Also you'll know your rising sign and among others things in your natal chart and you'll be able to see your whole personality.
2016-05-19 23:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy has been in two other relationship that have been abusive, you have to ask yourself why? For starters you'll have to be understanding that he has some issues that he is carring into each relationship. With each relationship he creats more. Maybe this guy is not so much avoiding you, but avoiding a feeling or a memory that your relationship with him reminds him of. He 's not ready to deal with it. Be his friend and let him know your a good listener and just listen.
2006-06-17 08:52:21 · answer #10 · answered by crable73 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer could be any thing from something came up to phone line problems to He scared himself. I identify with your description of this man. You could almost be describing me. After my divorce it was years before I let any one get close or even dated. I was afraid I would let myself be fooled again by my desire to be with someone. My current wife and I had several great dates and then I backed off for a while. What I found when I backed off was how much I missed being with her. That overcame my fear of another fiasco like my 1st marriage. I hope he shows for you soon and it turns out to be something just like that. He trusts you to have his daughter in your house. Maybe he just doesn't trust his luck. I hope he is OK and turns out to be as good for you as my second wife is for me.
2006-06-17 08:50:51 · answer #11 · answered by answerssucks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋