what do u want ur kids 2 be likewhen they grow up?

Question

im 18 and i dont think im doing what my mum imagined id do, i have a boy who's 2, a boy who is 11months and i'm pregnant with my third.
people might think im wierd but i dont dream that my kids will become lawyers and things, i just dream imagine that they will be like my friends are now. i'm not saying i want them to be doleys just that i know the lifestyle i'm in will be the 1 that they grow up in, and i'm cool with that. i'm not exactly strict on my boys, i let them work it out for hemselves, if they want to grow up and can't be bothered to do well in school thats up to them. what do u think? do you think there is a right or wrong way to bring up kids?

i'm not saying i dont care if they do good in school or not, its just i no from experience that it isnt everything. i left when i was 15 and i am a damn sight more clever than most of my friends who finished school.
and i'd rather my boys grew up to be able to defend themselves rather than be some pussyholes.

Answer 1

how do let an 11 month old & a 2 year old work out things for themselves?And you also dont care if they do good in school or not? Girl, I think its time you grew up and have those tubes tied.Poor babies dont have a chance.Maybe you should consider adopting them out to someone that would love & care for them because obviously,you dont.

Answer 2

Let's recap: You work as a prostitute (see http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AktN75Y8dgX1maqk8Nbp5ILsy6IX?qid=20060607135729AAqykPg). That's a negative. You will be 19 with 3 children. That's a sign of no self discipline. Education is not a priority (for you or your children). That's a negative. Not really that strict on your kids. You more or less let them do what they think is right. That's a negative. And, let your quote speak for itself, "...normally i dont go bed til 5 in morn specially wen im clubbin, but wen the babes wake me up,..." That's a negative to be coming from a mom.

If you continue on your current path, then you kids will grow up to be underachievers and will always be worrying where the next meal is coming from. And, you'll be a grandma by 32 or 33 and a great-grandma by 48 and a great-great-grandma by retirement age. Well, that's assuming your kids and grand kids don't get locked up in a prison somewhere.

You, my dear, are what is known as a baby factory. You have no business raising children because you obviously don't know even the basics.

By the way, are you a big girl or do you just have huge boobs (see http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AphAfrTfxbOCU9ly4_NSV6Hsy6IX?qid=20060616174531AAPW8iX)? Have you ever considered getting a reduction.

Answer 3

I think one that you were too young to have kids. But things do happen. You needed to think out how you would care for these children. As for letting them figure things out on their own....they do not know what that is they are only 11 months and 2 yrs old. They are in the ME stages right now. Everything is MINE. Also if you just do not care what happens to them at school age...you are going to have lots of trouble. For one thing your kids could be the smartest ones around but without guiding them you can not expect them to turn out well. Also there are places that could help you to ready them for school and if they have any developemental delays then it can be corrected and even worked on after they enter kindergarten. I know this fact for I work with kids that are delayed for many different reasons. I have seen the results of the work done for them and with them when they get to kindergarten. Also there is a right and wrong way to bring up kids. When this little they need to know what NO means. They need to learn the right and wrong of things as they grow. They need to learn respect for others. They need to learn that things will not go their way because life is not centered around them. All in All I think there is a lot to think about...I had too.

Answer 4

listen ma what ever you project to your children is what they problem will become , if you settle your children 9 times out of ten your children will settle. If you succeed and achieve then your children will know how to do sow because they have watched you , and they will always remember no matter how young for real . If you can't do it then you need a REAL MAN that loves you for you and not just wont that juice baby and get him in your life and and follow him . That's why he has to be a real man , and you have to follow so he can show you all how to be successful, and you keep it real with that man and only that man and you will lift you up and make you fill all the joy you all ways wonted to feel , but don't just keep all that for yourself give him some back to let him know that you are holding him up to baby gurl . AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FIND THAT CAT IN THE CLUB MA TRUST ME I KNOW. ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN . You find the RIGHT GUY , you and your family will truly begin to live.Fa shoo .Love you baby , keep your head up ma. holla any time.

Answer 5

I think you should always encourage your kids to be the best they can, and that means in school and life. If they struggle with school and life choices, just be supportive of their effort. If you expect great things from them, you'll get great things from them. As long as they're happy and doing the best they can in life, that's all that matters in the end. (btw, i show my 3 year old lots of encouragement in everything she does and she now knows all her numbers, letters, and the alphabet in English, Spanish, and German. Push them and they'll surprise you!)

Answer 6

You're going about things the wrong way... these kids need a strong role model, and clearly you aren't one... Do they have a father? I doubt they do since you're so young, so you are your boys only role model... If you let them run wild and peace sh!t out for themselves you're gonna have 3 kids who are dealin drugs to afford their next fix!

Answer 7

Your mission as a parent is to prepare your children for the world and to teach them how to be productive human beings.

The first time my daughter told me that I was no longer her best friend, she had a rude wake-up when I told her that I was never "her friend'. I'm her mom. It's my job to make decisions that she probably won't like, it's not my job to be popular.

Answer 8

I can understand your situation. I have friends before who were like you. Frankly, to tell you honestly, there is a right way to raise kids and I do hope that my answer will give you some meaningful insights and give you a chance to reflect on your life and the lives of your kids.

Being a parent is a tough job but at the same time, a rewarding vocation. Parenting can only be rewarding if you DO YOUR JOB- to LOVE, PROTECT, GUIDE AND TEACH YOUR OWN CHILDREN. We cannot take the 'risk' to leave the lives of our children to chance. When you explained your situation, I can clearly sense that you are merely 'justifying' your predicament now because of your past hurts, misgivings of even your own family or even as a result of poor decisions just because you didn't have the privilege to enjoy the love, guidance and security of a healthy home.

Honestly girl, don't commit the same mistakes to your own children. Your kids deserve more in life. Children are sent to school to learn and not just bum around. As a parent, you can encourage your child to do his/her best to strive for success. If he/she achieved this later on in his/her school life, your child will have a better chance to deal with real issues in life. Try not to deprive your own kids of that much needed attention, love and encouragement. All children need that early in life. These are the things that help children be the better persons they can be when they grow up. If you just let your kids run their own lives and do whatever they want, you are already giving up on your role as a parent and in a way, already 'abandoning' them. How can your kids achieve their dreams in life if you don't give them a chance to be the best that they can be earlier on in life?... We cannot just let our kids do whatever they want. They need adults to guide them through and teach them right from wrong.

When it comes to education, people do have different views about it. But if you do care about your child's future and possibility of him/her doing very well in life, give him/her that chance to do well in school with your guidance and encouragement. If we just let them drop school, what defense do they have in the outside world?...Yes, education for some may not be everything but it is your leverage to get a very good job and to do well in life. Plus, education is not only confined in the school building but also stems out from what we teach our kids right inside our own homes.

Give your kids the leverage in life. Be the parent that your kids deserve. You are very young and there is no doubt about it. As an advice, I suggest that you go to your community center and ask for help with regards to your situation. Ask for any parenting classes or courses that will help teenaged moms like yourself.

If your kids end up like you, would you say that you did your best as a mother?...There is hope and if you act now to help change your situation, it's never too late. There are many good people out there who would be glad to help people like you. Also, I do hope that you won't feel offended by my words. I am trying to help you out with my answer and hopefully, it will give light to your confused mind.

Above all, pray to God for guidance and direction. He is able and faithful to help us in times when we need Him most, if only we open up our hearts and souls before Him. He is the Father to the fatherless and the greatest comforter you'll ever find. He will never let you down.

Answer 9

There's a right way and a wrong way to raise kids. You're doing it the wrong way.

Answer 10

The only thing I know is that if I have a daughter, I won't call her after me.... this stupid revenge family tradition must stop!!!!