I am a divorced mother of 2 boys , ages 2 / 6 ! is it fare that the children still go with there father even if he does not pay child support ? he is $5000.00 behind !
2006-06-17 07:49:29 · 22 answers · asked by LISA T 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I do think he should pay. Visitation should not be used as a weapon though. Visitation is just as beneficial to the boys as it is to him. Even if you hate your ex, let your kids be a part of his life. It's for their own good.
2006-06-17 07:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to what some people have answered, I think that kids don't need a decoration father. If he's not helping financially then he's just wasting space. Yes children need love, but the also need food and other things that only money can buy. By owing so much child support he proves to be irresponsible. When the kids go see him do they have a bed to sleep in? Everything should be for the well being of the kids.
2006-06-17 08:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by thegamama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As all people who have had this problem learn, its never about fair. And one has nothing to do with the other, that what the courts tell you. You can proably get Public Legal Assistance to give you a lawyer that he will end of paying for if money is a problem(and they do have some good lawyers that are required to donate their time) or Contact the DA's office because he should be far enough behind for them to take on his case. You may even be able to get them to order garnaishments from his salary. Oh, and if he owes you money you can also get the IRS to send you his refund. Not sure how this works but my sister in texas has this done for the last couple of years.
2006-06-17 07:58:36 · answer #3 · answered by twanieskies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is behind in child support you need to take action legally. If you do not you are not helping your children. As far as not letting him see the children, that has to be decided by a judge. If he does not pay child support and you do nothing, even though it is a pain, and can be costly, you can always talk to an attorney for free the first consult, talk to a few and talk to one who is good at getting child support. If he continues not to pay, he will go to jail. There are child support services you can go to for help if you have no money, takes time. You need to get him served. If you try to stop the visits, you would be in trouble for not letting him see the children, talk to a good attorney, have your questions written down for the first visit, see a few for advice.
2006-06-17 09:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The laws in each state will vary but most I think would call it contempt of court orders keeping the kids from their dad. And this applies to all the dead beat mothers out there that are behind. I have a friend who has a dead beat mother to deal with that is also $5000 plus behind in support of three kids. You can not legally keep the kids from their dad or mother but you can take the dead beat parent back to court and tell your case to the judge. Also try child support enforcement offices if you have those where you live. I have another friend who has had to go to that length to get anything from her kids dad who is behind by a few months but has had his support raised as well. He just does not want to pay it. Soon though it will be garnished. So all in all, do as the court issues orders for and take him back to court to get what he owes the kids in support.
2006-06-17 09:13:20 · answer #5 · answered by taljalea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not fair for him to take the children when he is not fulfilling his obligation to his children. Think about it, you are raising your children 90% of the time and he gets to spend a weekend with them twice a month. He does not pay for the light bill, he does not insure the children have food in their home, he is not there if they have a bad day at school, he does not have to juggle a work schedule, a schedule for your children and be there for homework and other activities you may have them in. I received a statistic that a child raised in an average home will cost at least 700.00 a month, I don't know if they are factoring in total utility bills, food, gas, time off work, sports, clothes and the tremendous amount of energy required from a parent.
Dads like your children are often referred to as "Disneyland Daddys," whether he takes them to Disneyland or not, they have the mentality that they (dads) have a right to be on vacation on some wonder playland where there are no parental obligatory rules that apply.
You need to take him back to court immediately. If you have a child support order then all you have to do is take the order to Child Support Services. The agency will take measures to ensure he not only pay you monthly payments but will have to update his income and perhaps have him pay more in support and not to mention the retro 5000. dollars he owes. And trust me, once you initiate this action he will try to emotionally blackmail you. He'll say it is wrong for you to stop him from seeing the kids just because he owes money then he will accuse of being a selfish youngest. But please don't let that kind of talk discourage you because remember, he is the jackass that is fine with not being man enough to take care of his children, he doesn't seem to care if his children have food on the table, a roof over their heads, participate in sports which is essential to their quality of life and many other things like his absence during the week when it all happens for them.
As women we are made to feel over obligated to take care of everything and when we ask for help we are bold but when we demand it we are bitches. you just have to remember the character of the person who accuses you such a thing. Unfortunately there are many men and women out there ready to accuse an independent woman, that is independent of social expectations and social guilt. I think that you have allowed your guilt to stand in the way of making your irresponsible ex get away what he is supposed to do by law. Please file first thing Monday morning, you deserve it. You have keep believing you deserve help, equal help from him and a child support payment is a good start.
2006-06-17 08:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by bcsnow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think it is fair to stop your children spending time with their father because of money??
He may be behind in his payments but that is between you and him, it certainly should not be a reason to stop him seeing his children, and it is certainly not fair for the children to go without a dad because you feel he owes you!!
It is up to you to get the back payments from him. If you can't reach a reasonable solution yourselves then involve the courts.
It is always better and a lot less hostile if you can reach a mutual agreement about money. Try talking to him again and explain that he does owe you money and he needs to help support his children financially but NEVER use his kids against him.
2006-06-17 07:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by Gillipoos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it fair? No, but you have to ask yourself this question. Do you want to deny your children access to their father and look like a schmuck? Child support and child visitation are 2 different issues. One is between you and your ex, the other is the relationship with both parents that ALL children are entitled to. Keep your head up and don't diss your ex in front of your kids. See your lawyer and/or social services to get the money you are owed (and save it and spend it only on your kids and their expenses). Keep your nose clean. His will be bloodied enough for both of you.
2006-06-17 12:12:49 · answer #8 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! I'm a mom of 5 boys and my last 2 live with their father but we share custody.I do not pay child support due to we feel that nobody can tell us how much our children are worth per month.My opinion is, talk to him and tell him that U need financial help from him with the boys and go ahead and let him see the kids.Good luck.
2006-06-17 07:55:13 · answer #9 · answered by MexicanTlingitVisayan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes because it is important for children to have a father figure in their lives and in this day and age with so many children who don't have father's or don't know who their father's are I think that they are lucky that at least they know their father. Don't hurt your children by not allowing them time with their father because you are mad at him for not paying child support and if it really bothers you why don't you talk to him about it or file a complaint and have his wages garnished so that at least you get something. You can go to the website below and they can help you with your case. Good luck!!
2006-06-17 07:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by Beauty&Brains 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind by not letting your ex see his kids you are hurting the kids. How do you think they will feel if all the sudden they can't see their dad? That can have a huge impact on their emotional development.
Also if you stop letting him see the children he'll really think he doesn't have to pay. He'll argue that why should he pay when you won't let him see them. Also he'll most likely tell the kids that you are the reason why he couldn't see them.
You need to go to take him to court. By taking the kids away you are not only punishing him you are punishing those children.
2006-06-17 10:18:51 · answer #11 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋