What is the best way to handle a child (7 years old) who would rather argue than do what she's told?

Question

I have 7 year old twin girls. One of them would rather argue with me about doing something I have asked her to do, rather than just do it. When she gets in trouble for this, she gets even more upset and starts screaming and crying. She (they) are not spoiled in anyway and we're trying to teach them respect for their parents (us) and her siblings.

Answer 1

She is old enough to know better, but some children are more strong willed than others. This is not necessarily a bad trait. If she learns self-discipline, the strong will will encourage independent thinking. Without self-discipline, she will only meet with trouble in an adult world.

When she begins screaming and crying, I would send her to her room. NOT a room with a television, VCR, Game Boy, etc. Quiet contemplation is in order here. Later, after she has settled down, have a rational discussion with her. Explain the problems with her behavior, and explain that she must remain in "solitary confinement" if she cannot behave like a young lady.

Don't stress the small stuff. She will come around!

Answer 2

It's a phase - just don't stop being the parent. In other words, don't give in and let her get away with it. DO NOT ARGUE WITH A SEVEN YEAR OLD!!!! You are the parent. You tell her what to do and when she starts to argue, interrupt her and tell her you are NOT going to have a conversation about it, she just needs to do what you have told her to do - it isn't up for debate - just do it now or suffer the consequences. For my sons, if they don't do what i ask them to do, then i tell the other one to stop doing the chore and the one that isn't helping will not only do the chore i told him to do, but now he can do his brothers as well. They HATE that and don't try to argue with me for quite some time after they have had to do all the cleaning up by themselves!

Answer 3

Take away favorite possessions, or TV time, or time outside with friends. It's gotta be something that's a favorite.

Don't argue. If she disobeys you the first time. Say if you don't do this, I will take away this....then if she does't do it. Keep your promise. Let her scream and carry on. She's doing this because she knows how to manipulate you in this way to get what she wants. If you stay firm, eventually this behavior will stop.

Answer 4

I would recommend sitting down with BOTH girls, and setting up a list if things that each needs to be done daily. Get their input and opinions and go from there. Then if she does argue again, just remind her that she helped set up things the way they are. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

you need to let her know that isnt acceptable you send her to her room and start taking away the things she enjoys and making her responsible for her choices. If you tell her to do something and she acts out say ok do it now or (take away something she likes TV.games etc.) if she still dont cooperate then take all the fun stuff out of her room and send her to her room and make her stay til her attitude changes.

Answer 6

I would say to punish her everytime she disrepects you. For example everytime she gets smart make her write 7 words and thier meanings out of the dictionary....Good Luck

Answer 7

She's right - do not argue. Ignore the tantrum, give lots of attention when she's good. Also, watch the Nanny with her...

Answer 8

Reward her for the times she listens and does what she is asked, you could bring the other little girl in on this, so that all positive behavior is rewarded

Answer 9

this is what i did to my 10 year old and 4 year old both girls and it straighten them out: you give them more chores to do,spank them send them to there room to watch tv but have it program only so it can show c-span or the tv guide channel so they watch what they are missing

Answer 10

Sounds like she needs to be introduced to a little spanking.