Do people really mean what they say when they are mad?

Question

My husband & his brother got in a fight yesterday, & his brother called me some things that really upset me. I've heard the saying that people never mean what they say when they are mad. I've actually heard someone say once, "I didn't mean what I said, I was just mad" But is that really the case? or do your TRUE feeling come out when you're mad?

What he said was trivial, & he did apologize, although it was hurtful I am still so mad at him, I can't help but think that's what he really thinks of me.

Answer 1

I think people are bound to say things which they don't really mean down deep inside esp when an arguement is going on.My thought is he did apologize and sometimes that's about all one can do.I have heard actions speak louder than words. As long as the person treats another with respect then I wouldn't hold one arguement over thier head forever.

Answer 2

I agree with you on this one. It's when someone is drunk and they say things thats hurts. And when u tell them what was said while drunk they say they either don't remember or didn't mean it because " I was drunk or mad "

I say they do mean it because they must to have been thinking this all alone anyway, but it came out when they were mad or drunk( the true feeling revealed)

And sometimes( I'm sorry can't ALWAYS EXCUSE IT,help because it still leaves hurt feelings)

So I think he did mean it, it just can out when he was pissed,

So u can either deal with it by ignoring it or not really have to much to say or do withhim anymore. I mean still talk with him, but not as much

Answer 3

I think that sometimes yes people will reveal things they dont intend to however, the primary objective many times when someone is angry and arguing regretably is to win or hurt the other person. so I would not take to heart much that was said in anger. communication is the key. talk to your brother in law, let him know how you felt when you heard those things. ask him why he felt the need to say them and how he really feels, I think you might be surprised, he likely said them because he was hurting from some unintended injury or insult.

Answer 4

I say things I don't mean when I'm mad all the time usually because I want them to hurt the same way I do & I can't get a grip on my own feelings at the time,aslong as he aplogizes for saying the things that upset you accept it, because it is your husbands bro.

Answer 5

Sometimes you think things in the back of your head. Well those thoughts stay there untill you get mad and then they come out maybe to hurt their feelings or to make them mad. right? so it is really up to you if you really meant to say it or not. but in a sense if you think it, it is how you truely feel but some things you chose to NOT to say so that you don't hurt thier feelings but when someone hurts your feelings (i think) it is human nature to hurt them in return right?? Eventhough it isn't the RIGHT thing to do.

Answer 6

depends on the person. some say mean things when they r mad in order to upset the other person. others say exactly how they feel, because in a normal situation they would have been to ashamed to say anything, but when they r angry they have no control over what comes out of their mouths

Answer 7

I've said a lot of things when I was mad but half of them I didn't mean

Answer 8

just my personal opinion:

I believe your true feelings come out when you are mad....
those things that you never had the nerve to say, because you were trying to make " nicey-nice"....

when you are mad, angry...etc...you don't have time to choose your words so as not to hurt peoples feelings.... I believe that by not taking the time to think....raw....uninhibited feelings are what you produce....deep down inside feelings that you've been harboring all along.

Answer 9

i always say things i dont mean when im mad. some nasty things come out of my mouth when im really really upset because i say things on a whim. i always realize it immediately after i say it but its always too late to take back. but its never to late to at least apologize.

Answer 10

All people are different. Maybe people only say what they mean when they are mad, and if they are not mad, they are afraid to say the truth.