My husband and I have been having a huge problem with her not wiping herself or flushing the toilet. She use to blame it on my 12 yr old son, but now that he is gone to live with his dad for the summer, I have come to find out it was not him at all, it was her the whole time!! I have done about all I can think of, from trying to scare her with being "dirty down there" to making her wash her panties by hand. NOTHING IS WORKING!! She just seems as though she really doesnt care and is very lazy about doing anything, and I mean anything, I think if it were up to her she wouldnt even breathe on her own! My husband supports the decisions that I make with trying to get her on a good path, but I am about at wits end. I have talked to her mother and she told me that she does the same at her house to and her mother grounds her for it, yet again that isnt working at her mothers either. Can anyone help me get something through her thick head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????
2006-06-17 05:41:31 · 12 answers · asked by dnmhbk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Please read this all the way through, my heart is with you. I have two boys 10 and 6 that did the same thing (flushing). Charging 10 cents every time I found the bowl full stopped my problem. But your daughter seems like she has hit rebellion already. My 6 year old became very sore and he learned his lesson at 4 about wiping. But with your daughter "dirty down there" is not going to work. She's 10 not 4, don't patronize her, think back to when you were 10. Let's face it we were all picking up info from friends about sex. You 3 parents have to get together as a group and realize she is not a child she is a young lady/woman. Lectures and threats are not going to work anymore. She needs to start making her own decisions, educated decisions. Talk to a gynecologist get facts about what could happen if she doesn't clean up her act. Pictures if necessary, of what these diseases can do to her body. She could pick up staf infection just to name one, and wind up in the hospital. (My husband being a fire fighter had a call at one time about a woman with an upset stomach. She wasn't a wiper either her whole body smelt of crap. When they got her to the hospital because no one wanted to check between her legs (which was where the real discomfort was) they found her vagina was infested, stuffed with maggots.)Please do everything in your power to educate her in a way that will help her to help herself make the right choices. Also is she happy with herself, looks, school, and friends. These are all very important to her right now. If she doesn't have it yet soon she will be starting her cycle. You think you have problems now, wait. This is the summer of change for your family. Make it that way, help her, she needs you all just to hear her, and realize she is not a little girl, or even a big girl, she is a young lady/woman. A new hair style, a light colored eyeshadow if not wearing makeup, a few new clothes, you might want to rethink the panty thing. Is she wearing panties that make her feel like a young lady/woman, or is she wearing widebottomed, widesided diaperwear. Help her to feel different about herself. Chin up, no one ever said this parent thing was easy, but think of the good times, keep an open mind, and email me if you need to. We have all been there in one way or another.
2006-06-17 07:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by inkbaby71 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you should do this in phases. First, see if this started when the parent's separated - she could be angry about the upheavel in her life. At that point, whatever the answer is, talk to her pediatrician about it and have the pediatrician talk to her about the importance of hygiene. He or she can probably help with determining whether or not therapy may be needed and can also recommend someone. it could be simply that she forgets. I have two teenagers in my house - girl 17, boy 16. The boy often forgets to flush - even when it's "solid" and the girl occasionally forgets.
2006-06-17 08:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by PDY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like therapy is in order. Maybe she's doing this as a result of the break-up/remarriage stuff. Maybe this is her way of getting attention and finding out if anyone still cares about her. She should be coming out of the stage of not caring about hygiene now. Therapy might help in finding out why she is like this and they may help you figure out a strategy to combat it and to help her. Get her help now before she's a full-fledged teen when it will be worse and harder to do.
2006-06-17 05:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her to the doctor -obgyn- and have him or her explain what infections will do to her. the can tell her better than you could.
now the underlying resons for this lack of self care is a puzzle. the has to be a reason for it. even kids can be clinicaly depressed. or maybe somthing tramatic happened that caused this. but i would see a doctor about this. the child will soon start getting periods, and that is even worse.
2006-06-17 05:48:33 · answer #4 · answered by deb in ohio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really want to scare her?
PRETEND to have a yeast infection and pretend to be in excrutiating pain. Physically show her how it feels and tell her it was all because you didn't wipe yourself.
As she gets older she will learn more about hygene and understand that it is important. In the meantime, try to physically show her the consequences rather than telling her...hopefully this helps.
2006-06-17 05:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like therapy is in order for the little gal. There is a psychlogical condition that needs to be treated here. I have a brother that got help for this and he is cured of it now. Hope this helps!!!!
2006-06-17 05:48:01 · answer #6 · answered by wolftatx2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find some article about the illness that she can get and how hard is to get well again... and also talk with her that she will smell and ppl will not talk to her after some times.
do not just blame her, tell her that you understand her and it might be a bit hard at the beginning but it will get better and he will use to do it soon
it is just practice...
Hey I think miss red is right
2006-06-17 05:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a significant coorelation between a child keeping their genitals unclean and sexual abuse. Might want to look into it.
2006-06-17 05:51:57 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wasnt it a clue who was doing it when her underwear came back to the laundry 2 pounds heavier ?
2006-06-17 05:50:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do onething! thats it.
simply do the same when she goes to toilet!
and see hw she reallises?
2006-06-17 06:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by u cannot ever answer me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋