I had to travel for 10 days to see my husband and for a business as well... it was a long distance trip, so I left my daughter (2 y-o) with my parents. They love her a lot and she's familiar to them. When I got back she became excessivey attached to me, she doesn't even let me take a shower without crying.... my husband is abroad for a while and sometimes i have to call my neighbour to stay with her for few minutes to take my shower. She's a happy and smart kid usually. Did being away affected her? how much and for how long? did anyone experience this? I need your help I feel so sad and frustrated!
2006-06-16 23:43:09 · 14 answers · asked by cosmicwoman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At times when your children, especially that young they tend to get a feeling that you are not coming back,,my daughter went thru the same thing she believed i wasn't coming back. I f you talked to her and explained you were going to see dad and she realizes that dad is for the most part is gone, she may feel like you are going to do the same.It is a security issue,just keep on letting her know,"mommy is coming back, don't worry. Good luck it is a very sad and frustrating thing especially when they cry and it is like they are weeping...Just keep telling her that. Have a conversation, i did it and it took awhile but eventually she got over that..
2006-06-16 23:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by um_er_ra 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my little one is not at that stage yet, so i can not give you some expert advise. but i heard what she is doing is normal, she has a attachment to you, i do believe that is completely normal. and she will grow out of it, the only thing i would suggest is try to sit down and talk to her, try to make her feel, and know that you will definitely be coming right back. and that you love her and will never leave her, you need to understand from their point of view, you have been there 24/7 for her and when you would leave she was too young to understand,but now she is older, she might be afraid that you may not come back, its going to be hard, but you have to leave sometimes, you cannot be their 24/7, as she gets older she will understand, maybe let her know that when you come homeyou will plan something together, just the 2 of you something that she will be really excited to do , and that as soon as you get home you guys will be spending the whole day or how ever long she needs.
2006-06-17 06:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation Anxiety. Try Going away and coming back at short intervals during the day. Get a special toy that she loves and give it to her when you go away. For example Mom has to put out the trash give her the toy then come right back. Always make sure that she is someplace where she can not get hurt. If you have to leave again show her on the calendar for how long you will be gone and when you will be back give her special toys. Plan an activity a day when you are gone library one day, park one day, etc. This way she will have something to keep her distracted.
2006-06-17 06:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by wm12ws 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was this way. Even though she was only a year and a half the doctor said it was the terrible two's. It lasted with her until she was about 3.
Maybe look into age-appropriate ways of getting her to be more independent and rewarding her.
For example, I know 2 year olds are not independent yet, but maybe give her something to do that's out of the ordinary (not pick up her toys, lol), perhaps like giving her a clean cloth and ask her to "wipe off the coffee table for Mommy", and then tell her what a big girl she is and how proud you are, and MAYBE that will encourage her to want to be more of a "big girl".
Usually, they don't get to the "helpful" stage until age 3, though.
But your daughter seems pretty normal, 2 yr olds generally make you want to lock yourself in the dryer for about 18 months! lol!
Hang in there, Mom!
2006-06-17 07:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your daughter thinks you are going to leave her again and obviously is showing that. You need to reassure her that you are not leaving her .. and tell her Mommy went to see daddy , he was sad because he is away from home and is far away, and just like you he is lonely, so you have to go see him sometimes.
Also I am surprised that you did not take your daughter to see her father. It would not have cost any more money, she would have sat on your lap on the airplane. And once you were there you could if you needed to get away for a few hours you could get a day Nanny ...through the local hotel that you are staying at where ever it was. They are always licensed and bonded and reliable and they would watch her in your hotel room.
It is going to take time for her to get over the trauma of being left. But she will get over it in time...
2006-06-17 06:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she might be excessively attached to you because u left her with your parents. She was probably scared she might never see you. Have u asked ur parents how was her behavior when you left her? Ask them.. If she is smart as u say...take her for a walk buy her ice cream and chat. Why is she acting this way... You never know maybe something really bad happen to her and shes afraid of something...Kids are open.. If she doesnt know how to talk then ur parents are best answer for u.
2006-06-17 08:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should talk to your parents, ask them if anything happened while you were gone. She is only 2 and although you left and she does not understand why she may be afraid that your leaving again. But my bet is on something happened at your parents while you were gone. Good luck and thank your neighbour for helping out.
2006-06-17 06:49:21 · answer #7 · answered by Jade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is scared that you will leave her permanently. has she ever been without you or your husband before? it happens with most children, this fear of abandonment. your like her drug, you've got to wean her off of you or your going to be living with her until you move into the nursing home, and you'll be damn lucky if she doesnt become ur roomy. maybe she had a bad experience of some sort while u were gone. who knows? my daughter is 5 months old and will barely eat or drink when i am away. it is ok to love your daughter, and to spend lots of time with her, but.......if she is an only child, then perhaps a bit spoiled????? idk, but if the whole bit of not showering by yourself continues you might see a shrink for her.
2006-06-17 06:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Morgan T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 yr olds , they like their routines is all. and 2 weeks gone without mom is a long time for her and she probably thought you werent coming back(just normal thinking for toddlers), did you call her at anytime??
maybe that would have helped-hearing your voice is all she needed.
so she may be thinking that if you leave the room again you will be gone long time again.
just keep telling her that you love her and play with her often and dont be too busy with the house things.
dont worry, if you give her time and reassurance each time you leave that COULD help, not promising anything. just some mom advice thats been there.
after 4yr just my daughter and I, I left her to go on vacation with my sister's family for 2 weeks and thought she would forget me. and I tried to call but my sister was never near a phone. I went crazy. so cleaned the cupboards out and repapered them to make time go by quicker.
I know mine was older but thought it would help.
2006-06-17 07:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont you ever leave her again like that. No money in the world is worth the love of your child. she is too young to understand what you did. get a damn grip. she comes before anything and dont you forget it!
a concerned father.
2006-06-17 06:49:25 · answer #10 · answered by nikkelbubble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋