If a man tells you that he doesn't want a relationship because his life is to hectic or he's just not ready for one...Does that mean he really isn't ready for one or he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with YOU?
I've heard that usually when a guy says that, it means he just doesn't want whatever girl he's saying it to.
But some of my male friends say that isn't always the case and maybe they enjoy their single life and not having to answer to a girlfriend.
I feel like even if a guy isn't looking for one, if the right girl comes along, the guy isn't going to pass her up if he really likes her, but some guys say if they aren't ready, they just aren't ready no matter who the girl is.
What do you think and please explain your answer.
Thanks.
2006-06-16 17:47:20 · 11 answers · asked by Truth Hurts 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My thinking has always been he just isn't that into you, but my guy friends (whom I trust very much) say that sometimes it's not even about that.
2006-06-16 18:03:25 · update #1
in my own life it is possible that I might say "too hectic or just not ready..." if I thought the woman was a really nice person and I sincerely didn't want to load her up with the mess I was going through.
I might also say it if I thought she was nice looking but I wasn't so keen on a long term commitment to her.
It is safe to say that he has handed the initiative back to you. You may chase him if you wish but he has given you fair warning that he isn't devoted to you at this time.
2006-06-16 17:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
If a guy is looking for a long term romantic relationship, with a commitment, then he probably won't want to date you. So, if you do accept a date with a guy, make sure he knows what the score is, so there's no disappointment/rejection/whatever later on. If a guy is just looking for a fun time, with no expectations of anything beyond that, he'd probably be okay with it, as others have mentioned, because it increases his shot at a 3 way.
2016-03-27 18:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, however we both co-exist in planet Earth. When a relationship is terminated as you pointed out it can really be for either of your options; he really isn't ready or he doesn't want that current partner. Even if the "right" girl would come along we would still "pass" her on, because we weren't looking for the "right" girl at that time. You can only find the "right" person if your looking for the "right" person. How many times have we seen that the true love of someone has always been by their side but never knew it because they weren't looking. In the street you can only find a quarter if you look down, in Earth you can only find the right person if you look in your heart. Hope this helps and take care.
2006-06-16 18:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by Papagayo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the answer is that it could be either. There are, on the one hand, men who will give you a line instead of telling you why they're really not interested, although sometimes it's to avoid hurting your feelings rather than to insult you. (I can't explain that, as I don't do that myself.) On the other hand, there are plenty of times when a man actually does feel too busy to have time for a relationship or does feel like he's not ready to start seeing someone again.
I know it can be hard to believe, given how much men tend to like women, but there really are times when our lives are just so full that we don't feel that we can add another person to it. And, yes, there are degrees there -- there are times when a man could make room for a woman who is definitely right for him, and there are times when a man just has to be alone no matter what. Also, there are times when a man has gone through bad experiences and just needs to devote some time to himself and his own interests.
So if you've been told that the guy is just too busy or just doesn't feel ready, he might very well have been telling the truth. Or he might very well not have been. Unfortunately, unless you see him out somewhere with another woman, you probably won't know whether you got the truth or not.
2006-06-16 18:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy isn't ready for one, you couldn't give him a g/f no matter what. I have been there, I just want to be left alone, I will take the sex but I don't want the hassle of a g/f. I love women but I love myself too and I know what feels right for me. so in answering your question, even if the right gurl came along, guys will turn her down and hope she is still around when he feels up to it.
2006-06-16 17:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look Dear, as a guy (I'm 49 and it took me almost until I was 35 to figure this out), men can be real jerks, and we tend not to figure out how special Women are until it's almost too late. I know, as I played the field and said the same things to Women all the time. After I fell in love really hard and she broke my heart that it finally came home to me.(For me that was about 22 years ago, and I didn't meet the Woman of my dreams until much later, but that's another story) Maybe it is different for other men, but that's what did it for me. Keep trying and don't settle for 2nd best, as the right guy is out there for you, and as soon as they start saying they don't want to be in a relationship, or their life is too hectic...yah dah yah dah yah dah, it's all a load of cobblers, so just move on and realize he has done you a favor move on.
2006-06-16 18:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sister, he's just not that into you. You know that in your heart, or you wouldn't be asking for advice. Your male friends only told you what they wish a girl would believe when THEY say those same lines. Don't believe if the right girl came along, a man would find time, find space, make a place for her in his life.
2006-06-16 17:55:52 · answer #7 · answered by StudentoftheHumanCondition 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmm actually if u want a relation let a guy come to u instead of u going in for it... guys like to chose things for themselves... but if someone else choses them they feel akward and usually come up with such reasons... so better let him feel ur presence and and give some time to the cupid too... good luck buddy..
2006-06-16 17:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by raj a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is avoiding something. May be the relationship, hurting you, hurting someone else or avoiding you. Who can say but him. If it's meant to happen it will.
2006-06-17 16:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by wildmanbowling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT MEANS HES GETTING TO MUCH PLAY IN THE FIELD TO WANT TO SIT ON THE BENCH.
2006-06-16 17:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋