Storie, please help?

Question

Boyfriend lied to me!!!! He told me he would never smoke/drink. Since this past month, he's been hanging with the wrong people. He called me cursing, making fun of me, and high/drunk.

I'm a Christian, and Don't need this, what shall i say when he calls!!!?

I need to end it with him...im just so sad.

ts just so sad, cause he lied to me. He told me he didnt do nething today, then earlier, he said he went out to a party, and did stuff.

In the beggining, 3 years, he was against smoking/drinking and sex before marriage. Now hes talking like a nonchristian, and it hurts me so much.

What shall i say to him? And is there any Christian's who can talk to me? and Help me.

Answer 1

well, regardless of if you're a christian or not, he shouldnt be doing that to you. if he says he's not gonna smoke or drink, he should be man enough to stand by his word.

effectively, if i was in a situation like this, i'd end the relationship without a second thought. you just dont deserve that.

but, i did notice that your emphasis on the christian thing seems to be a strong one. maybe it would be best to try to find a person thats just plain a good person. nobody is perfect, but i do find that many christians, especially the youth, are typically afraid to talk openly about things that they're not sure about, due to fear of being rejected by the other christians. i went to a catholic school, and can clearly recall many kids that seemed to be great kids when they were around adults, but when they werent watched they were into all kinds of stuff.

usually, ppl that dont put as much emphasis on religion arent as worried about showing their true colors, because they're not as concerned with living by specific rules.

so, it might be better to find someone thats a good person, and happens to be a christian, rather than starting off a person thats a christian, and happens to be a real good one.

plus, if you meet someone, and things get serious emotionally between the two of you, he might even be willing to convert. then you're not only finding a good guy, you're welcoming new ppl to your way of life. i bet jesus would like that. just dont IMPOSE your views on him forcefully. you're way more likely to drive him away.

Answer 2

Honey, I saw your questions. You were asking very similar questions from 2 WEEKS AGO. And you are still whining about this?

I am going to be VERY BLUNT here. Cuz frankly, I think you need to hear it. I will be saying all this out of LOVE for you, cuz I care. It may not sound like it, but I do. *hug*

I think the REAL problem is....you are desperate for a man, and your self-esteem is so rock-bottom that you believe you cannot find a good man so you will take "any man"----hence this one you are with. And you are whining about this?

Honey, stop whining like a little brat, grow up and grow some self-esteem and give this boy a big heave-ho! Only YOU can make your own happiness. Your boy cannot give you happiness, girlie. YOU can. No one else is responsible for your happiness. YOU are.

There are some good quality men out there who deserve a good girl like you. Grow some guts, girlie, before you turn into a bag of misery.......

Do you want to live to be a mean spinster? No? Then give this boy a heave-ho. Cuz the longer you are with him, the more miserable you are. The more miserable you are, the more likely you will grow up and be a mean old lady.

I love you, now do what you gotta do, girlie. :-)

Answer 3

Some of the answerers suggest giving him an "if you don't... bla, bla, bla, then I can't be your girlfriend anymore."

Bad idea. Dump him. I know it is sad, but he is going a different direction than you are and you cannot change that. Nothing you can say will change that. No amount of begging, threatening, or fussing can change that. Accept it.

You will have a number of relationships throughout your life and you will learn something wonderful and something horrible from each of them. Learn all you can from each of them and allow them to end when you have learned all you can.

You have learned all you can from this one. No matter how much you love him, you can't change him... and it is wrong to even try. Allow him to have/do what he chooses and find the next one to learn from. The "one and only" will be the one that always has something to learn from you and you always have something to learn from...

If you accept this behavior now... compromising your beliefs and or standards of acceptable behavior, you will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of compromises.

You don't want that, do you?

By-the-way, men aren't HONESTLY ready for long term committed relationships until they are close to 30 years of age. Many make the committment, thinking they are ready, but aren't and won't be. Very few are mature enough to get it right before 30. They have too much to learn about who they are and what they want out of life in their teens and early 20's.

And what ever you do, don't think of this situation as a failure of any kind on your part... people change. That's life. You cannot control it.

Answer 4

You have my sympathy. I know you're sad, because it hurts to realize someone you cared about is no longer the person you thought he was. But being a Christian, you know what you need to do. You need to put some distance between the two of you. You can pray for him and hope he realizes how wrong he has been, but you can't change him. I stayed married to someone like that for way too long, hoping he would change. He wasn't always like that, and I was committed to making the marriage work, but he didn't want to change. I had to face that and move on. It's not easy, but you need to do it for your own sake. God Bless You.

Answer 5

Are you married to him?

In the beggining, 3 years, he was against smoking/drinking and sex before marriage. Now hes talking like a nonchristian, and it hurts me so much.

Boyfriend lied to me!!!! or is he your boyfriend

if hes your boyfriend just get rid of him and tell him why. Itll make him feel bad and maybe make him check himself

Answer 6

by their fruits you shall know them, and girl - if he sounds "like a non-Christian" than I hate to tell you this: He is.

I don't mean to sound incompassionate, but it's time you drop this guy like a hot rock!

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 2 Corinthians 6: 15,16 (NIV)

...besides: you can do much better.


I'll keep you in prayer. I know it must be heart-breaking, because you seem as if you're 'attached'...but take some sound advice:

"Get Detached!"

(this guy needs prayer.)

Answer 7

Thats to bad for his backslide. It is not healthy for your walk to remain around someone like this. I would have to say not necessarily break it off forever but for now. Let him see what he what a great girl hes missing out. Pray for a turn around in his behavior! If you decide to stay around him its still a choice but like in 1 Cor 15:33, "Do not be decieved: Evil company corrupts good habits." That is seriously the truth, if you dont watch it you will be lead off in the same direction.
This is coming from a guy and I've been in reverse roll but a girl doing this to me. It hurt bad when she wouldn't respect my beliefs but I had to do it and drop her. Set an example with you life that he will see what he is missing.
Do not compromise your faith for something like this. I did on smalls things here small things there. At first they are small in this area but then those small things build up and now its a big compromise from what you would have done just weeks before. As many times as you have to they always want you to compromise more and more. The choice is still yours I wish for the best. I will pray for you tonight. God bless!

Answer 8

You're in a tough spot, and I know it must hurt you more than you can say. But tell him, in the kindest way you can, that you can't be together with someone who acts like that. Let him see that it hurts you, and tell him you love him very much, but at the same time make sure he knows you're serious and firm about not dating him. Don't crack and give in. Tell him (if you feel this way) that he can call you again when he gets his life right with God. Maybe he will, someday.

Answer 9

If he is not treating you with the love and respect you deserve, let him go. You can do better. It seems he has changed, for the worse, in the past 3 years. Sometimes, that happens. Do not let him degrade you or what you believe. Hold your head high and get out of this relationship before it's to late....Good Luck :)

Answer 10

this may be lengthy....i'm no longer for effective on that though lol. I were given my first boyfriend at the same time as i replaced into 16, till now then i did not experience that i replaced into waiting to be in a courting and that i'm smooth with my determination. yet there's a back tale...type of. His call replaced into John, he's interior of an similar grade that i'm in (i'd be a senior in the autumn) and he loved me back in freshman three hundred and sixty 5 days. As I suggested above I wasn't waiting then, and that i suggested no. Then all by skill of sophomore three hundred and sixty 5 days I had the most important crush on him ever and that i under no circumstances would say some thing to him, because nicely we under no circumstances quite talked. Then I informed my wonderful pal to inform him (stupid i understand) and she did and he under no circumstances requested me out so i replaced into like even with. Then on the top of sophomore three hundred and sixty 5 days, 2 days till now college ended, he had my wonderful pal question me out by skill of textual content. Very romantic, i understand. yet I had those huge butterflies and that i suggested certain, then I met him in the band room. I stayed in there till seventh era (anybody skips training the most suitable week) and he hugged me see you later. Then the subsequent day in the band room I had my first kiss. We broke up in August because of his ex wanted him back :( yet I moved on finally and were given a clean boyfriend the top of would this three hundred and sixty 5 days and he treats me so a lot more desirable suitable than he ever did :) yet when I were given my contemporary boyfriend my ex suggested he nevertheless loved me, and that i informed him i'm satisfied now and we can nevertheless be acquaintances. His loss lol.