is there anyone out there with gud advice on how to disipline or encourage your children from being naughty?

Question

Thank you for you answers

my daughter is 4 by the way

thanks heaps, it all helps alot

Answer 1

A good ole butt whoopin' straightened me out when I was growing up, but now they call it abuse. I think being firm and following through with discipline is one thing that parents should do.

Answer 2

Avoid discipline (spanking) but give them plenty of encouragement. It's usually best to look for the positive and praise that.

When things go wrong I've found good results when I point out what's wrong and show a more acceptable way to do something. For example, tonight my little boy spilled drink in the carpet. Instead of getting mad, chewing his rear, and spanking, I told him what he did and what that does to the carpet and house. Then I showed him how to clean it up with towels and water. He said, "Oh, ok daddy."

He will probably need to be reminded tomorrow or the next, but there were no hurt feelings or tears shed. That is so much better than punishing, spanking, yelling, etc. However, being naughty oftentimes requires a time out. BTW, my son just turned 3.

Answer 3

Be consistent in punishment so they are aware of what is not acceptable behavior. Time out works if they are too young to really understand why Mom has gone ballistic. Grounding worked for my son. Praising them when they do something good helped too, but I don't believe in bribery to get them to behave. That will backfire on you one day. Each child is different and it will take a little trial and error to find what works for your child.

Answer 4

If they do something bad-like try to steal from a store, take it out of their hand and say, "No." Well if they're babies.

If they are preteens or older you take away TV, phone, computer, ect. and explain what's gonna happen to them in the real world if they keep doing what they're doing. Explain it in a polite way-like don't do it in the I'm-right-you're-wrong tone, that's what turns kids away from feeling supported by their parents.

The key to good parenting is being there for your child(ren) and discipling them in a good way but not in a bad way that makes them feel they could never please you.

Answer 5

Try your hardest to ignore the naughty behavior, and focus on giving extra attention to the good behavior when they are little. As they get older, you have to stay firm and take away things they cherish as punishment, but be consistent and never let them see you doubt your own status as the boss or else they will try to usurp you!

Answer 6

I think that there are three main factors to discipline - consistency, fairness, and calm.

Some people relate spanking with anger, and discipline in general. That shouldn't be the case. Granted, there will be times that you will react instinctively, but hopefully you will most often have a chance to calm down before issuing punishment or discipline. With toddlers that isn't usually an option, and a smack on a diaper-padded bottom will often convey your displeasure with their action without causing them any pain whatsoever. Always keep in the forefront of your mind that you're trying to teach them something, not trying to hurt them. It's that action, not the pain, that will make them learn.

Be Consistent: With older children, making sure that they know the rules AND the consequences if they break them, makes your job easy. But you have to stick to what you say - you can't tell them that if they do that again you'll send their head spinning into the next room, because they'll know you won't or can't, and that lessens how seriously they take your rule not to do something.

Be Calm: Telling them that if they paint the kitchen with mustard again, you'll take away their electronic privileges for a week, will seem possible and reasonable to them, and they'll likely not do the deed again. Of course, since it never occurred to you to tell them not to paint the kitchen with mustard in the first place, you'll have to handle the initial act with a calm discussion and perhaps a punishment of having to help you clean it up (you'll have to help or it'll never be done right, and it also teaches them). And always follow through with whatever punishment you assign to an infraction. That way they'll believe you about that and other warnings.

Be Fair: Not only in your own mind, but in theirs. A punishment that is too severe for an infraction that really doesn't matter much in the overall scope of things will only serve to make them quit caring a fig whether they break your rules or not. Don't take them out of Little League just because they came home a half an hour later than you told them to; unless this is a long term problem and you've told them that that would be the punishment if they did it again.

Spanking is not a bad thing on its own. It's doing it in anger that makes it bad.

My eight year old did something once that I hadn't told him not to do, but it was necessary that he not do it again. It was important. So I told him that if he did that again, I would bend him over my knee and spank him. Since I had never spanked him before, he didn't think I would, I guess, and he did it again. I told him that he had left me with no choice, that since I'd said I'd spank him, he'd forced me to have to do it. I said this with sadness and regret in my voice and eyes, went and sat down on a chair and called him over to me. I told him to bend over my knee, and when he did, I calmly gave his butt one good smack. I waited a minute, then gave him one more. Then I asked him if he thought that that was enough, and he thought for a minute before responding that no, it probably wasn't. So I smacked him one more time, and let him go. The spanking didn't hurt anything but his pride, he was fully clothed. But it made him think, and he never did that again. I believe that part of it was respect for me. I was calm, I was consistent, and I believe I was fair. I also had made it clear that the responsibility for his actions and my having to spank him laid squarely on his own shoulders.

The best way to start out though, I've found, is to have an authority in your voice from the very beginning. Most of what you'll be disciplining small children for will be things for their own safety, and there may be times when you'll need them to react immediately to your voice, so instilling in them the need to do so right from the beginning may save their lives later. My kids knew that I would always explain afterward why I had urgently barked an order, and knowing that if I was issuing commands at the top of my voice I must have good reason, helped a lot.

I can't imagine any reason, ever, that would warrant a punishment such as a beating or even a whipping, but the key to avoiding that isn't making rules about never spanking, the key is not to react in anger. Don't decide punishments when you're angry, don't allow yourself to react in an angry manner - THAT would teach them to do the same, and your ultimate goal in raising children is for them to become responsible, thoughtful, loving adults.

Never lose sight of the ultimate goal.

I don't mean to preach, and I'm no college-educated expert, but I have raised all of my kids to adulthood, and believe me, I've seen it all.

Answer 7

Take away things that are of value. car, cloths, video games. Then you have them hand write a letter explaining why, what they did was wrong. Make sure there is no spelling errors.

Answer 8

How old are your children? And are they boy or girl?

Answer 9

owh...hmm....ingone the bad thing...and praises 4 the good thing....