My five year old isn't althletically inclined, but wants to play sports. when he does he tantrums....help?

Question

I am the single mother of a five year old boy who is very sensitive. His dad died when he was too young to remember, so it's just the two of us, and he has a lot of female influence. (teachers,etc) He is very close with his G-pa, and uncle who try to be male role models. They teach him how to play sports, but my son becomes agittated when he cannot be instantly good at things. I have tried to get him into community sports, scouting, teams, etc., all of which my son desperately wants to participate in. but when he plays, he tantrums throwing the bat or himself on the ground. I have talked about practicing, and patience, and good sportsmanship, but to no avail. He wants to keep doing activities, but coaches and other kids have a hard time with him. I can tell he's hurt and frustrated, and he wants badly to be able to do what other boys his age find so easy. Do I keep him out of sports until he can socially adapt? Keep him in and let him keep trying? How about my embarassment at the games

I take my son fishing, camping, hiking etc.--I am very active with him, and practice the sports too..... it seems to be the 'comparing' thing that he's hung up on....

Answer 1

Some semi-random thoughts...

1. He sounds pretty normal for 5.

2. Part of the problem MIGHT be some form of ADD, and I hate saying that since it is so often used almost as a cop-out.

3. You focus on baseball/sports... how is he academically, in science or reading, in nature identification, musically, etc.? Wanting to be good at something we suck at is human nature- but if we really are good at other things, it is not a big deal.

4. Kind of related to #3- what IS he good at? If not baseball, maybe soccer, or basketball? Most of us are really only decent in a few basic things- tall, skinny people tend to better at basketball than short, stocky wrestler types and so forth.

5. Maybe his issue is that he is not so much a 'team' kinda person. Maybe some smaller group or private stuff would be better? Running, most track and field stuff, etc.



I might make a list of stuff he has tried, and then look at each point and see if you can figure out what he liked and did not like about each. See if there are any common threads you can work with.

Answer 2

Maybe you can have his grandpa or uncle take him to the sports events. He might need some male support - and they might be better suited to explain to him about tantrums and sportsmanship. Talk to his uncle/grandpa and set up some time with them - and have them talk with him about his actions.
You might also consider having him practice the sports with his uncle/grandpa and then maybe when he's about 6 or 7 - get him into community type sports. He might just be frustrated because he doesn't have a dad at home to practice with.

Answer 3

Does his tantrums happen at home when he's doing other tasks besides sports? If he does and starts doing it, stop him and make him count to 10. I know, it sounds ludicrous, but that's what I had to do with my cousin.

Answer 4

to me i think you should pull him aside befor he even thinks about playing a sport and explain at his level that if he throws a fit he will never play sports until he is 8. then maybe he will rember if you constantly remind him and tell him about the consequences.

Answer 5

Maybe you cuold his grandpa or uncle talk to him about things. And maybe just work and show him how to play sports!