How would you handle this?

Question

My parents are divorced (have been for over 12 yrs.) and my sister, Chloe, who is 16 (turning 17 in Aug.) has been visiting my dad on weekends at his house. He has a girlfriend & 4 kids w/ her. The oldest of their kids (she is 12) really gives my sister attitude. This little girl is used to being Queen Bee and when Chloe is there she tried to outrank her or something. She won't let her use the family computer (my father has told Chloe to help herself to anything in the house as if it were hers), and she tells Chloe that "You know this isn't even your house." Her mother (my dad's girlfriend) backs her up on everything she says and has even told Chloe that she is just in the way. Its Father's Day on Sunday and Chloe doesn't even want to go to his house b/c she doesn't feel welcome. What should she do? Should I say something to my dad or just let her handle it? I feel bad that she is feeling this way. She should get to see her dad just as much as his other kids!

Yes, I am Chloe's older sister (I'm 22). And the 12 year old is our half sister. She acts wicked bratty because thats how her mother raised her.

Oh, and its funny how Chloe isn't in the way when my dad's girlfriend wants to go out and needs Chloe to babysit or help the kids with their homework.

Answer 1

i wood tell my dad wats goin on then if i was ur sista i wood kick that lil girls *** and her mother they cant treat her like she doesn't belong bcuz dats her father too so if they wanna act like dumbasses tell them off don't let them push u around thats ur dad if they dont like ur sista to hell wit them u there 4 ur dad not them

Answer 2

Man, I got pissed just reading this story, I can only imagine how upset you and your sister are...
Is this your younger sister?
If so, I think it would be a good idea if you mention something to your dad on behalf of your sister. Mention something about how the mother and daughter are ganging up on Chloe. Hearing it from another older sibling will probably make your dad seriously question what is going on when he is not around.
If Chloe doesn't feel welcome enough to go over on Father's Day, she should call your dad and wish him well, but tell him that she honestly does not feel welcome, otherwise she'd be there. Your dad loves you both. I'm sure he will hear both of you out.

Also, the younger girl AND the mother should recognize that Chloe is someone special in your father's life, and respect her BECAUSE of that (and you too)! (Sort of a "he-loves-you-so-I-love-you-too" thing). That mother should be keeping the kid in check....
Anyway, I hope everything works out for you guys.
<3

Answer 3

How cruel for the person your dad cares about to belittle your sister in such a hateful way. Sounds like the "girlfriend" needs a lesson. Chloe needs to tell daddy Happy Father's Day over the phone. He will ask why she isn't there and that will open the gates of pouring out all honesty in what the problems are. The others living with daddy are jealous of his relationship with her, this is apparent. Chloe can ask that it just be the two of them for some "alone time". He can pick her up and take her shopping, out to eat...etc. This will tell you a lot about what he may or may not know about what goes on in the house. If he is aware of the problem and chooses not to defend Chloe, then he doesn't deserve her visits. That kind of closeness has to be earned on both parts. Good luck with this and God Bless You for supporting your sister.

Answer 4

It sounds as though you have your head on straight. Since Chloe hasn't done too well on her own in this matter, I think it would be a kindness to talk with your father about this, and then suggest that he, Chloe and your dad's girlfriend have a talk and that your father say to her that "(Chloe) can help herself to anything in the House as if it were hers". Then your father can ask Queen Bee to join them and tell her the same thing. If Chloe is welcome, your father is the only "neutral party" who can ensure she feels welcome. Better to nip this in the bud, than have the girlfriend and her four kids drive a permanent wedge between you girls and your father. If your mother is sympathetic with your situation, she can save you all a lot of trouble and talk with your father instead of it all being on your shoulders.

You and Chloe are certainly entitled to spend time with your father without concern of being harassed by the girlfriend and her four kids.

Answer 5

Chloe needs to make your dad fully aware of what's going on. If he is, and if he's not backing her up/helping her out, then she needs to tell him that she loves to visit with him and would love to continue to do so, but that she's not going to put up with this abuse from that little brat anymore...or the disrespect by the girl's mother. It's as simple as that, you can't force a parent to always do the right thing, but if your father wants to keep Chloe in his life then he needs to be there for her. If not, she needs to do herself a favor and stay away until he realizes his mistake.

Answer 6

I think that you and Chloe should call your dad on the phone, even on his cell phone if he has one. Ask him if you could meet with him for a short time, just the three of you. If he agrees to meet with you, tell him exactly how you're feeling. Tell him that you love him, and want to be near him, but you feel that there are obstacles in your way. If he truly listens to you, hopefully things will begin to get better. If not, then you and your sister have each other. I think just the fact that you posted this question, shows the love you have for your sister. She's very lucky to have you.

Answer 7

She needs to tell him how she feels. But if it is really bothering her that much then I guess it might be okay for you to just say something to him like......"Dad you should try spending a little time with just you and Chloe. I think that she would really like that a lot." I would let her say something to him. Encourage her to. It will help her deal with things better. After all he is her dad.

Answer 8

Leave this up to your sister. She needs to stand up for herself and not let some lil bratty 12 year old run her life. That is her/your guys's father as well...and lil miss priss will just have to learn that. As for the mother...your sister needs to tell her that she is welcomed in the house, and she will just have to get over her own jealousy. Your sister should also clear up and talk this over with your dad. Good Luck to you and your sis <3

Answer 9

yes you should say something and speak up in the nicest way possible that is absolutely ridiculous and isnt chloe 17 so why is she letting a 12 year old give her lip? anyway your dasd does need to know immediately what is going on and he shouldnt be with any woman who cannot accept his kids as well then she must be a real b if you know what I mean let God handle them sweetheart inform daddy at once.

Answer 10

Whether she tells him or you do, your dad needs to be made aware of the situation. Your sister should not have to be in a place where she feels unwelcome or unwanted. Encourage her to talk to him or find out why she won't. There may be more to the situation than you're aware of. She may be afraid to say anything out of fear of the girlfriend making things even worse, which is possible. If she won't talk to him, you may want to consider doing it yourself just to make sure he's aware, but do it where it's just the two of you. Give him examples and ask him to keep an eye out for similiar problems happening. It's very possible he just has no clue what's going on.

Answer 11

I would definately have my sister handle this. Be there to support her, but it must be her voice that your father hears. To be honest though, if it were my little sister, I would have to say something to the 12 year old. I wouldn't be mean, but I would let her know that what goes around comes around. Also, your father has probably seen the attitude from the 12 year old and his wife, he probably just doesn't want to cause problems with his wife.