if u were going to have a baby in august and the biological dad didnt care, what would you do?

Question

( I dont want anything to do with him, personally, after how hes treated me- I just want advice on wht to tell my kid when she grows up and asks questions)

Answer 1

I would tell her when she asks "Your father had to go away because he wasn't ready yet to be a Dad. But maybe thats a good thing honey because now instead of one father you have lots of caring fathers in the form of your nana, Auntie, Uncle-in-law, the leprechaun here and many many more"
My advice-be honest with her when the time comes and do not be afraid for yourself or her. All things happen for a reason-this did too. Embrace it and make the most of it. And you have support from others-dont you. Xx

Answer 2

If I was due to have a baby soon, and the child's father didnt care, I would make sure and let his family know about the situation; maybe they would be able to tell me what the problem is, or give him a hard time. Then, depending on my financial situation, if I am well off I would just go about my life raising my child,and when the child grows up I will make sure he/she knows what an indiot the father is. I wouldnt be able to waste my time fighting him for money when I have my own. Now if I had no money, then I would have to get help from my family and make his family help me, and make him pay chld support. I would do whatever it takes to make sure I have money to support the child.

Answer 3

i was in this situation just a few months ago, well still am actually. And the thing that i have found to make things easier is to let it go. It will be easier on you and on your baby. Stress isn't good for either of you, when he/she arrives he will know if you are stressed even if you try to hide it. My daughter can tell and she reacts to it. I would just forget about him as hard as it might be and go and get the help you need. Have the state go after him for support for your child. He evidentally like my babys father isn't grown up enough to handle the situation. Later he may realize what a mistake he made, but let him make it. You can't change him or his mind. Keep your head up and love your baby things will be tough but it will get better. It just takes time. Good Luck

Answer 4

I would find a way to raise the baby myself and if you got child support then he may have rights to the child and you don't want that And I would simply tell the child that his or her daddy wasn't mature enough to raise a baby but don't lie or make up something that isn't fair to the child. Or if you are not ready financially or emotionally to raise a child then seriously think about adoption, I'm adopted and it was the best thing that ever happened to me!!!!!!! But make the decision on the child's best interest,don't not give it up for adoption for the reason that it would be too hard, think to yourself "Am i ready to raise a child physically, emotionally, and financially?" and if the answer is no to any of those questions then give the child a better life with parents that are dying to have children.

Answer 5

That's a hard one! How old are you? How is your financial situation? Do YOU care? The bottom line: do you want to have this child or not? If not, there are thousands of people out there waiting to adopt infants. I know I would love to adopt an infant! So, if you don't care and the father doesn't want to raise his child, adoption is a very real option. You need to decide what is best for your child. Once you become a parent it is no longer about what is best for you, but what is best for your child. Try going to a Pregnancy Care Center, Carenet Pregnancy Center, or someplace like that. They can help you work through if you want to keep your child or not. They will have resources for you if you decide to raise your child or start the adoption process.

Answer 6

I would get cozy with his mother, if you know he respects and loves his mother. Once you have the MIL on your side, she can influence her son. I am assuming you're not married, however. You might just find her phone number on www.whitepages.com (if she's listed) and call her up and explain the situation in an extremely respectful and polite tone of voice. DO NOT belittle her son, because if you do, you have just lost the war. Say, "I'm so concerned that John (or whatever his name is) seems so ambivelant about our pregnancy. What do you think I should do?" You could elaborate on that, but keep it sweet and never let a mean thing slip out of your mouth. Get as close to her as you can. Whether your intentions are to marry him, get child support, or simply force him to acknowledge this situation, she can help. I hope this works for you. Best Wishes with whatever decision you make!
- Adrienne

Answer 7

You have probably thought of the many options .You can as others suggest force him to contribute to the financial responsibility.
If you feel you are too young or unable to provide the proper support for the child there are many capable and childless couples that would make great aprents and it is not abandonment by offering a child for adoption but a true sacrifice and selfless thing for a mother to do.
Think about what you want to see happen in the future.

Answer 8

First thing that I would do is establish paternity. I mean this is a vital part of a child's life medical history. At the very least. You do deserve child support regardless. It takes 2 to make a baby. But honestly establish paternity and get an attorney. It'll be worth it in the long run. I promise.

Answer 9

hi in my opinion I wouldn't let it bother me. I would give that baby as much love as I could. its to bad some guys have to be that way. I will never understand why they have to be that way. If you decide that you dont' want the baby then there are couples out there who would love to have a baby and can't. I have heard of couples who pay for all the expences for your health care and everything. After the baby is born they might agree to keeping in touch and letting you know how the baby is doing and giving you pictures. (every couple is different) I raised 4 kids on my own and I think i did a pretty good job. they all are decent they aren't on drugs and are not alcoholics or arent pregnant. my oldest is married and has two children of her own. I am very proud of my kids. I do not regret a moment of having them and would do it all over again if given the choice. My ex-husband wasn't wanting our fourth child he went as far as to tell me that I could go to the doctor and take a pill that he has to get rid of it. I couldn't believe that he was saying that. I said "if you do not want this child or want to be here when it is born then you can leave at anytime." I will raise these kids on my own. well, awhile after she was born we split up. but my kids and I did just fine. yes it was rough for awhile because I had to be both mom and dad. but we did just fine. if you would like to talk further then just email me at [e-mail] anytime. I think you are going to be a good mom and I have alot of faith in you that you can raise this baby just fine on your own. May God Richly Bless You. ,Love Penny

Answer 10

Unfortunatly, in some states (most actually) you can not have the father sign over rights unless there is someone willing to adopt. (know from personal expirence). I would (and have) take the bio father to court (after a DNA paternity test) and get child support. It is his child too, and after the baby is born he may realize that it would be a loss not to know his child so he might step up then. My daughter's father wanted to be a part of her life after he got to know her, after swearing he would never want the child, never pay support, and never see the child.

Answer 11

Ok, i am having a baby in august, a little girl, and the father knows but hasnt talked to me the whole pregnancy. So i am in the same situation. And i plan to tell my daughter that her daddy didn't make good decisions but that doesn't mean he doesn't love her. And if she has specific questions, i'll be truthfull with her. Her daddy is married and didn't tell me he was untill after he got me pregnant. (he's in the army and it's his first baby). This is my second baby and im still single kuz of him. So anyways, just be honest with her, and she might not understand it, but who does anyways?