My family members play a non active role in the care of my father at home. Two years ago he was able to get out of bed by himself, take a shower even cook for himself. Because he only had medicare coverage at the time I decided to apply for Title 19 coverage for him so he would be covered in case he had to go into a nursing home or needed medical care that medicare would not cover. Two years before applying we transferred the house into someone elses name so the state would not be able to take it. State law requires three years so I had one year to go before I could apply. The last year he got worse and was unable to care for himself. I quit my job to care for him for the year I needed to be able to apply for Title 19. I now have a nurse for him to do what I did for a year and am trying to get back to work. My family members feel I should put him in a home but I dont want to. They do not come by to see him now because they have issues with him from years ago. The aid works.
2006-06-16 14:27:17 · 4 answers · asked by dynsapp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My family was (and kinda still is) in the same situation not to long ago. My grandfather had cancer and no one wanted to take care of him. (mema and poppop were split) Poppop always said that he didnt want to ever be putinto a home and if he did he would be dead inside a month. Well family members tried to care for him (well thats what they say) until all his money was gone and didnt want to spend their money on him. They put him in a home and 29 days later he did die. My advice is ask your father. If he is able to understand and communicate then he will tell you. Do what YOU think is right. Do not be persueded by others (even family). I wish to this day I could have stepped up but alas there was no way that I could. I regret it to this day.
My Mema is now sick and being cared for by my father and step-mom and she is so grateful. They have a caregiver and she is happy. She herself told them that they can place her in a home but they choose not to (thank god) and my uncle fights with them all the time about this decision and my fathers response is " until you come in and live my life to see how this is working then you cannot make MY decision for me"
Just remember everyone thinks that they can live other peoples lives better then them but until they actually do no one can say a word, Good luck!!!
2006-06-16 15:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by lvb524 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your Dad ,aid and you are happy continue to keep him @ home. If and when any of the above changes, or the time comes that he cannot be cared for @ home then is the time for a nursing home. Just never, never promise him that you will not place him in a nursing home. I have a few friends that have had to eat their words, and then they feel very guilty. You are doing the best you can do without sibling help and whatever you do is going to be right..no guilt's.
2006-06-16 14:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by jst4pat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you put him in a home if you are happy with the situation at home? If the aid is working well why change things.
When you were small, your parents took care of you, they fed you, bathed you, taught you to speak, nourished you physically and emotionally, now it's your turn.
It sounds to me like you're doing a pretty good job. If others in your family want to have a say in what you do, tell them they have to take part in your dad's life, if not, tell them to let you handle it the way you have been.
God Bless you and all the best to you.
2006-06-16 14:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by nellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As they say in Texas, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Tell your family that if they are so interested in your fathers care where the hell were they for the last year. Then do what your gut tells you. Go back to work, and leave dad with the aid you trust.
2006-06-16 14:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by Ilene W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋