my dad just died and i need help?

Question

im only 15 and my dad just died of being an alcoholic, and well im deeply depressed and need some wisdom on how to beat being depressed.

Answer 1

Hello my name is jimmy , i am 56 yrs twelve years ago my mothe rdied, she was and still is the world which revolves.
Her death was my fault, and getting over that was the hard part.
And yet when we loose someone we love , one way to get through the day is to find the good memories and think on them.
See his face and relive the good times you had together making it one day at a time .

There is one who can always fill the empty spaces in your life , and that is Jesus Christ.
I won't preach to you, but i will pray for you.

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your father. I know what you're going through. I was 21 when my dad died of pnemonia, which isn't the same as alcoholisim, but he was a Respitory Therapist so it has always struck me a little odd that pnemonia killed him...

Anyway, all you can do is think of the happy times you spent with your father and get through things day by day. You will never get over it completely, the pain of losing your father, but over time the pain will become less pronounced. There are times when I break down and cry now just because it is so unfair that he's not here.

What really got me through things was accepting that everything happens for a reason. It's a hard thing to accept, but if you can accept it you will be so much better off. I also know that my dad is still around in spirit. And I KNOW it - I can feel it when he's around me, I can see him in my head, and I know he's always watching over me because he loved me very much. I'm sure your father is doing the same.

If you ever want to talk about things more please email me. I'd be glad to listen.

Take care, honey. You'll get through this - you are stronger than you think you are.

Answer 3

My dad died 2 years ago, 1 week after i got married. At first days i didn't cry much, i was like drunk, it all seemed like a dream to me, and everybody thought "she's strong, she's holding herself well". But it got me after people were spreading out, after i had some time alone, and i still feel the pain, i was so deppressed then and i think i still am. I almost lost mu husband few times because i was suffering so much for my fathers death, i was starting to make him unhappy too. I started to loose faith even in God, cause i was so dissapointed. Even now my marriage is not going well at all. They say "you'll know if it's gonna be a sunny day in the morning"... i think our marriege lost it's shine, it's warmth, it's humor and everything sweet. I also think my husband is cheating on me now, cause i wasnt always there for him. I know you're 15 and you're unexperienced about this, but i just want to give you a little piece of advice "let it go, there's nothing you can do about it, we're all going that way as God wishes, try not to think about him much, cause you'll start making people around you unhappy...
I hope you'll get over it someday!

Answer 4

you need to go to therapy you cannot deal with this on your own even if you think you can and you also need to believe he is in a better place where there is no alcohol and he is over his addiction i also believe that you should learn from this and never let a drug like that rule your life. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with your fathers death so young but i think you will grow into a great person knowing things others learn the way your father had too.

Answer 5

I truely feel for you... I know it's not my dad but my mom died when I was 8 (4 years ago) and I just recently accepted the fact that she's gone.When my mom died i didn't cry i felt bad for not crying but somethin inside me told me not to let go of her just yet. I started lashin out back in Jannuary thinking about suicide...because i felt i needed to say i was sry to my mom, because the last thing i said to my mom before she died was "I hate you, you big meanie!" I regret that every day of my life and seeing how i didn't want to accept the fact my mom was dead i didn't want to talk to anybody about it! But it started getting to me i felt i should die and every part of me was saying " do it kill youreself, nobody will care nobody loves u!"Not long after that i brought 24 different pills to school and planned to pop them 4th period. I told my gurl and she totally freaked and at lunch she went and told the councilar and they found the pills and i got emergency ex-spelled fo 10 school days.I'm happy that my friend did that because i realize i have so much to live 4 and i now know i do have people around me that really do love me. So all I'm saying is don't hold it in talk about it and if u need someone to talk to I'm here my E-mail : [e-mail]
Hopefully you don't do like me and learn that there is always someone there when u go to far. So yeah good luck to u on you're path to acceptance the hard way.

Answer 6

My father died this year February 13 for pretty much the same thing. It's a ***** for sure.

Im 32. I still cry - we were close.

First - try to remember him for all the good things he did.

Second - Talk to him, I do. I mean you don't necessarily get answers but you can at least hope he gets to hear you, which I think he does.

Third - Keep busy - when you are busy you keep your mind busy and you can cope easier.

Fourth - DO NOT use this as an excuse to go Drinking or Trying Drugs. STAY AWAY - Trust me. I smoked some Pot to try and numb my mind and it REALLY threw me for a Loop (bad) that I still am feeling to this day - NOT COOL!!!! Im getting over it, but it's taking way too long. You're brain needs all the sobriety it can have at this point to work things out naturally.

Fifth - If you are starting to be depressed, you can always try some good old fashioned meditation. Easier said than done. Go get this book - I tell people that this is the most effective way to meditate I have ever tried. Its like 30 mins a day which in the scheme of things is very small - especially to quiet your mind and slow things down a little.

Eknath Easwaran - Meditation (linked below)

Sixth - Work out - I do Hard at least 3 days a week. It is good for getting out aggressions and releases endorphins to help make you happy.

Seventh - Go hang out with people EVEN when your mind says Stay home and Mope. Make sure they are good people and are not going to drag you down worse than where you are now. Get on line and chat or whatever too if you like.

Eighth - Family and Pets - treat them well and pay attention to the loved ones you still got!

Nineth - Prayer is good - I have several times asked god to forgive my father for his sins and to take care of him while he's in heaven. Church on a Saturday or Sunday can be pretty uplifting.

Tenth - Remember to live your life in such a way that you can make your father proud of you. Say, "I will show the world what a great man my father was by how well I have turned out!!"

If you need to talk you can always contact me at the e-mail under my profile.

(p.s. As far as therapists go - use them as a LAST RESORT. You can be strong and do this!! Believe in yourself. If you absolutely Must go - Go but see if you can get Good referrals and find out who the best ones are for your situation before you go. Some of these people have more problems than you do. Be Smart and Be Careful!
If you go and they suggest drugs - STAY AWAY from them. Drugs, perscription or not will screw up things for you. I would highly recommend the meditation before resorting to the ever-popular quick-fix of drugs. If you do research on line you will find that Perscriptions for people your age have REALLY Screwed up some people and have even caused people to commit suicide. This has been proven. I have taken drugs in the past for stuff like depression and Believe me they Do Not Help - they will numb you to the world and make your life crappy and the more you get used to them the more you Doc will want to medicate you which in the long run can have Staggering effects. Luckily I weened myself off of them and now My life is Way better than it was before. Learn to be strong. Everyone deals with hardship. It's what builds character!!)

God Bless You and stay cool!!

Answer 7

talk to someone.a professional if possible call your school that's free or if you know someone else who has gone through this they may be able to offer some advice.keep your chin up as hard as it is.all pain passes in time and will make you stronger.it may seem over whelming now but the pain will become less.sometimes it is necessary to take medicine.a lot of alcoholics use booze as their medicine for their pain and it only makes them feel good for the time being.if you have been depressed before this please seek help.you wont regret it.

Answer 8

WE all care for you here and because we do...........we realize that none of us are truly equipped to giv e you the help that you need. It is the weekend now, call a help line for some support to make it through the weekend. Then have mom or other adult call a really cool counselor so that you can talk about your feelings.

Answer 9

its normal to feel depressed and that is one of the stages you will go through to heal. you just have to think about how your dad is not suffering from his addiction anymore and he is at peace now. dont try to preoccupy yourself to avoid dealing with the fact that your dad passed away the best way to begin feeling better is to deal with the pain and greive,it is the best way to heal. remember the good times and know that he is always going to be with you in your heart. if you have trouble dealing try to get involved in counseling so you can confide in someone or join a support group, families that have been through similar things. you will feel better knowing other people that have went through something too and you will be able to share your feelings with them.

Answer 10

Losing a loved on is very difficult to bear, and i doubt that anyone online will bring you comfort. Talk to you family about your feelings and seek professional help as a group or individualy. I wish you the best and hope you and your family overcome this painful loss.