Death with dignity? Is it wrong to want to help?

Question

I have a 90 yr old g-ma, who is in constant pain, doesn't leave the house, blind in one eye and her memory is like swiss cheese.

She is frustrated every day because she can't cook, clean, balance a check book, etc...but she's still aware enough to know she's not doing these things, but thinks it's just a temporary problem. She thinks she's only been "under the weather" for a few months, when in fact, it's been years and years.

She doesn't have a DNR, so if she has a heart attack or a stroke, she could be left worse than she is now after they shock her back to life.

Am I wrong to sometimes wish she would take too many vicoden when I'm out shopping, or have a heart attack just after I've stepped out, so that by the time I come back, she's gone???

I feel like I am loosing my mind here...no worries, I would never do anything to harm my g-ma...it's just thoughts.

Answer 1

Please do not lose it and please be patient w/ grandma, remember we all will get old one day. Now it seems as if she is aware enough for you to get her to have a DNR drafted as well as give you durable POA. I suggest you contact your local law school and see if they have a legal clinic that handles these kinds of matters, based on your grandmother's income they may be able to help you and do it free of charge. I would also advise call Adult Protective Services to ask about any programs they have for the care of older citizens. And finally, check to make sure grandma is taking her meds properly, sometimes when they are not taking them properly this effects their mental abilities. Next doctors appointment go in with her and discuss any issues w/ him/her regarding grandma. Also review www.webmd.com to review the medications she is on.

Answer 2

That is a very good question, I am a 61 year old disabled male. I believe that everyone should have the right to die with dignity. I know myself that is the way I want to go.. That is why everyone should have a living will.. that way there will be no dispute how you want to go.. and your family will have to honor your wishes.. I have a friend right now that didn't make a living will and he is only being kept alive with machines and tubs. Him and I always talked about this subject and I know deep in my heart he doesn't want to be that way.. but because he didn't take the time to make a living will he and his family is stuck in limbo.. If there was a way for me to go to see him I would gladly pull the plug on him and I know deep in my heart he would thank me..

Answer 3

It's normal to have such feelings when someone you love is in pain and suffering. Don't feel guitly about your feelings. Just be sure not to do what you are thinking about, you'll feel releive when she dies (on her own), and guilty same time that you have been wishing her to die. It's pretty normal. Couple of months later you'll feel better, and everything will be fine. Just remember that EVERYONE (me and you including) will die one day, no matter what we do, so don't feel sorry for her too much. We shouldn't feel sorry for things that we can't change or we are going to experience as well. It's stupid for death row inmantes to feel sorry for each other, beacuse we are all on a death row, and we don't know when or final apeal will be denied.. :)

Take it easy, and enjoy the life.. It's wanderfull.
Just let her feel that she's got your support.
She would commit a sucicide if she'd like to die... so you just keep supporting her.

Answer 4

I feel so bad! My g-ma is 88 and her memory is like swiss cheese she is also blind in 1 eye! But! If u go walking with her maybe around the block she will get most of her memory back! No matter how slow she walks.

Answer 5

Yeah, it's against the hippocratic oath to help someone die... not to mention it's illegal. The most we can do is withhold treatment. We've had many discussion in ethics about this.