How do I let go of the past mistakes of someone so I can plan, as in make a parenting plan, the future?

Question

He left the area to be with his girlfriend and now after 2 years acts like he can just pick up where it left off. No acknowledgement that I have assumed his burden, 100% physically, 100% emotionally and 87% financially. He actually suggested taking full custody , 100 miles away from me, now that I found him to get back child support. It feels retalitory (sp?) for enforcing my support order. He has always had the opportunity for shared custody but never even kept a good address with me or his own mother for that matter.This just pushed a button that in his eyes she is only a commodity to barter with in his effort to lesson his support order. If the custody time changes than the income can be rehashed.

Answer 1

Try to distance yourself emotionally from the situation as much as possible. (I realize that's hard with your child's future at stake.) Get a good lawyer and let him/her deal with your ex as much as possible. Don't let what your ex wants affect the decisions that you make regarding your child's wellbeing. You know what is best and it's for him/her to be with you. Focus on that. As long as you have a good lawyer, there is no judge in his/her right mind that will give full custody to someone who abandoned his kid for two years. As for shared custody, since he abandoned her for two years, you should have enough of a case to prevent that from becoming a reality, or at least insist on him making most of the effort to for it to become a reality (for example, he would have to move to the same town or at least the same state in order for that to happen).

Answer 2

Pray, and do what you can, you love your child so tell him that if he wants to have shared custody to actually do it for the child and not just to lower his support payments. If you go to court, or when you get your support enforced, then ask if when a parent takes shared custody, if the parent doesn't really take care of them, if you can have the shared custody removed or taken away.

Answer 3

go to court for full custody, and child support. he has no leg to stand on if he knew his child was alive and has not paid any support or ever visited her. He is just trying to get you to stop asking for support.