I sincerely believe I have a healthy self-esteem. I mean, I don't think low of myself nor I think anybody is better than me. But when it comes to romance, I notice that I'm a very bittered man. I was rejected often by the opposite sex when I was started noticing girls while I was growing. I'm terrified of rejection and at the same time I ask myself what's the worst it can happen, and we all know that being told "no" it's about it. But I'm still afraid and bittered and I can't seem to get over my teenage experiences. Please don't ask me to visit a dr. because I don't trust them at all. How can I overcome this bitterness and phobia of rejection? I'm 33 yrs. old and I'd like to have a "normal" socilal life with women. Any ideas?
2006-06-16 11:52:21 · 6 answers · asked by MARSHALL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hope I can help you.
You state that you have healthy self-esteem, yet you are allowing your past relationships effect your present or up coming relationship with other women. You are the only person who can get you over the bitterness and phobia of rejection that were in the past. Teach yourself that what happened in the past, was a lesson of how your next relationship should be. You can't have a relationship with anyone if you don't trust them. No one would like to have have relationship with someone they don't trust. It works both ways. If you don't trust them, they wouldn't be able to trust you either. Try not to judge the next lady that comes to your life that she too will abandoned you, and kick you out of her life. Most heathy and normal relationship is 50/50.
From now on, consider it a new page in your life. Start anew page, a look for a person that suit you well. Have confidence in yourself and your new mate to trust each others. Learn from the past to make the future better for both of you, but don't let it dictate your future relationships.
You have kissed too many frogs, and soon you will find you Princess. Trust yourself, trust others, and you will have a true "normal" and healthy self-esteem and a great relationship with the one you desire.
Best of Luck, I hope I helped. Now, it is your job to do the real effort to find your mate. GOOD LUCK.
2006-06-20 05:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sierra Leone 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys are in the same boat as you. Certainly I was until about age 31 (I'm 33 too!), when I decided to start working on this area of my life. The suggestions of the other posters are excellent: You should experience a little success.
I got an assignment in which I was supposed to meet 5 new women a day. Just "meet", and find out a little bit of information about. Not get phone numbers or e-mail addresses -- that's too much pressure at first -- just "meet". They didn't even have to be people I was "interested" in. But I had to get 5 a day. And it helped me break out of my shell quite a bit.
And then, when you've got a tiny bit of "social success": You need to get rejected more! That's right. You need to get to where you don't care anymore whether you get rejected or not. Even guys who date all the time will tell you that they experience a fair amount of rejection. (The thing is, people who reject you typically aren't rejecting *you* anyway, because they don't know you well enough to reject *you*.)
"having fun with it" and regarding each new interaction as a learning experience (rather than a make-or-break opportunity which will affect your happiness or self-esteem) will be helpful concepts to keep in mind.
Good luck.
2006-06-16 19:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by mcskwayrd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a matter of fact. . . start socializing in groups. Find an activity you like at a community center, church, social club, etc. and start there. Toastmasters is a great organization to work with. Other clubs that match you hobbies will work as well. Start from there and work from groups down to a select group of people you'd like to have coffee with and work down to a single woman from there. I doubt you will find rejection in a group and probably find a woman that you can enjoy being with without fear of rejection.
2006-06-16 19:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't start with dating with the way you feel.Start by making a friend and talk,go for walks,go out for coffee.When you know someone long enough then try a date and see how it goes from there.
2006-06-16 20:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by rosie w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi DIAMOND. I'm Diamond as well, strange how great minds think alike. :)
that said. have confidence in yourself, and trust that you will have a good relation with a woman suitable for you.
2006-06-20 12:29:23 · answer #5 · answered by Diamond 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confidence. when you think a woman will say "yes" then you will project the vibe/aura. visualize yourself winning and it will show through.
2006-06-16 19:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by go sabres! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋