What should i do? REALLY NEED HELP!!?

Question

Im 14 the guy that i Love is 21 (if ur going 2 say that I cant b in Love at this age or that its wrong 2 b thinking that way of a 21 y/o or insult me or anything that isnt helpful than just leave cause ur wasting ur time&my time)

I went 2 a camp 2 yrs ago&met this guy we talked a lot, i shared secrets with him that no 1 else knows that ive been hiding my whole life. He likes talking 2 me but he doesnt want 2 go out with me because of my age (&im okay about that). I went 2 camp the year after&about 1 month after the camp him&my psychologist decided it would be better if we stop talking because i was becoming 2 attached&addicted 2 talking 2 him (this was in september) he always told me that when i thought i was ready 2 talk to him to e-mail him (cause he lives 2hrs away)

Im ready but im not sure if i should. It was hard 4 him 2 stop talking 2 me&i dont want 2 bother him or make him confused again. But im miserable not talkin 2 him&just want 2 die. Is there any1 that can help me?PLZ

If anyone has anything of usefull i really want to hear. Btw, i´m sorry about writing so messed up.. hahaha. I hate when people do that it´s just i had so much to write and so little characters to work with : P

Sorry, one other thing. I´m saying that i want to e-mail this guy again and talk to him again. I´m not saying that i want to be with him I just want to be friends because i´m so much happier when i´m talking to him. I understand that he doesn´t want to go out and i´m not going to try to make it happen. It´s just so hard to live without him. (And to one of the answers, i have tried to move one, i just can´t. If anyone has any suggestions on moving on, i´d really appreciate it too!!)

Someone asked if he knew the way that i feel about him.. yes, he does know. that´s the main reason that we stopped talking because he didn´t want to hurt me any more

I´m not sure if i explained it clearly. He said if i felt ready to be friends with him (just friends) he doesn´t have any other intentions (he probably has a girlfriend of his age right now anyways) than to talk to him. Thanks everyone for how many people are trying to help but i´m saying talk to him, not date him (so you guys can stop worrying about him going to jail!!) Thanks :)

Answer 1

The fact that the boy you love is 21 would make it very difficult for the two of you to have a legal relationship until you are no longer underage. I don't think you would want to get him in trouble would you? Also, why did your psychologist suggest you stop talking to him? If it was only because of the age difference, the advice was probably the best at the time. For now, you could just email as a friend. If he emails back, keep your conversations friendly, not romantic. Let him know you still think about him and you appreciate all the time he spent listening to you and supporting you when you felt you had no one else to talk to. For now I think it would be best to just stay friends and not get romantically involved.

Answer 2

Im sure you think you love this guy and for that Im happy for you. But there is no was that you both should be together. Even if he does enjoy talking with you which im sure he does there is now way that you both have anything realistically in common. Hes an adult and has seen and lived in a world that you havnt even experienced yet, you both are worlds apart. Crushes are one thing from you end but I would be really worried about a guy who at 21 acted in any way interested in a 14 year old..no offence. He should have people his own age that he can communicate with and interact with about things that you may not even understand yet...once again no offence. I say just move on this crush will pass and you and him will feel much better about things, I promise. One last thing enjoy being young while you can, there should be no reason that you should feel like you have to be dating anyone right now. Have fun

Answer 3

Hun are you sure that you are IN LOVE with this man or is it that you just really like the attention that he gives to you? Im not going to say that you cant be in love at 14 but you have to think about what could happen to him if something did happen between you two, he could go to jail because you are a minor and if you really love him then you would not want that to happen to him. I think that it is ok if you are just friends with him and then in about 4 yrs when you are older if the feeling is still there between you two then you should act on it. I know that this probably doesnt help you much but he is a lot older then you and what he may want out of the relationship may not be something that you are ready for.

Answer 4

Okay, anyone who tells you that you can't love at 14 is an ******.

Now, even in the most liberal states in America, he CANNOT touch you. It is illegal. He doesn't want to go out with you, for your age or any other reason is enough. And he would go to JAIL if he touched you, for statutory RAPE - do you really want to do that to him? Men DO have needs you know. You should move on.

You are so young - and I hated it when people told me that. But what you think is love now will not be love later in life. You CAN be in love - but I don't think you are. I felt the same way, I really like several girls, and got along well with them, and it was mixed with lust - but that wasn't love. Love is when you care more for the other person than yourself and you would do for them what you would for NO other. If he slept with you, then you caught him sleeping with someone else - could you EVER forgive him? If he became an ****** would you ditch him? Think about it seriously.

You need someone else to replace this crush - it will take your mind totally off him. I'm 29, so I'm not so old that I don't remember being 14, I know what I'm talking about. Any time you want to talk some more, write me - I'll get back to you.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Yes....find another hobby.

I have young daughters, and I can tell you that, the guy is making a great decision not to become involved with you and move on. You have what they call a "crush", and you need to find someone else more close to your age.

If my daughter was infatuated with an older guy, and he even thought about conversing with her on anything more than a social level, I'd probably rip his arms off and beat him to death with them!

Look, young lady - you've got a long way to go. You might think you're in love, but it would never work, and it is just a crush. I guarantee you that if you just wait, a little while longer (fifteen is good), you'll find another guy your age in school, and he'll feel the same way about you, and then you can both become your parents' worst nightmares. Until then, stay away from this guy - because he can get in a lot of trouble, too. If you really care about him, stay away from him.

Answer 6

well girl friend let me tell you...I'm 21and all i think about is meeting a exploring so if i was to talk to a 15 yrs old guy( which i wouldn't) and he's all sprung on me and I know that he's going to alway be there then Yeah i would mess around and not take him serious because he's still young and once he hits the age 18 he's going to relize that there a lot more out there then just being sprung over this chic!!

So do something that you wont be always thinking of him... hang out with your friends and start a new thing like smoking weed that always helps me hehehe

Answer 7

You should try to move on and forget about this guy. It's obviously not the right time for the two of you to get into anything. He lives 2 hrs away...and with the gas prices going up, he'd maybe come down to see you once a month.

Answer 8

I would like 2 help U but I would just tell U that he is 2 old 4 U.

Answer 9

You can add to your maturiity by bettering yourself daily. Concentrate on your school-work. Take up a hobby and work at that. Broaden your mind -- listen to the local and world news daily and learn what people are doing. Look into world problems. If you are supposed to be with him in your life, he won't be going away. Trust that as a loveable deserving person, love will be there for you when it should be there. Don't rush it .

Answer 10

As a father I would say that you proberbly have a infatuation with this guy .
But dont throw the baby out with the bath water think of the quallitys that this guy has and look for that in someone your own age.
Ihope I was able to help ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR YOU!