Why is it important to have sex after your marriage?

Question

I dont really understand why people make a really big deal out of it.

Answer 1

You mean on your wedding night, or over the course of your marriage in general?

On your wedding night, it has traditionally been important because people were not allowed to have sex outside of marriage, so in the first place the guy and girl were generally feeling very pent up and eager to get away from everyone else so they could FINALLY have sex.

Also, traditionally speaking, it was the case that a marriage wasn't considered "valid" until it was consumated. That is to say, the act of marriage wasn't considered complete until the first time the couple had sex together, so it was important to do so as soon as possible after the ceremony to secure the marriage and entitle the partners to all the rights and privileges marriage gave them to one another, especially in case someone else came along who wanted a crack at the bride (if it's not consumated, it's not valid, so technically she'd still be up for grabs).

In ancient England (as you saw in the movie Braveheart) it would have been important to the common people because their Lord could choose to "consumate the marriage" for them, but he only had that right until the husband and wife had sex the first time after marriage, so anyone who didn't want the local Lord traipsing off with their wife the first night had better get the deed done, don't you think?

Today's emphasis on the importance of sex on your wedding night is a traditional holdover from those times. The reasons may not have remained, but the tradition has... and who can blame people from holding onto it? Let's face it, it's about the only time most parents know you're fixing to get laid and actually APPROVE. Might as well enjoy it!

As for why sex is important over the course of the marriage, it's because contrary to popular declaration of most people who will say "there are SO MANY more important things in a marriage", it's very important to most couples.

You do have to remember that in nature, coupling takes place for the purpose of mating, and believe it or not, human beings aren't really any different. Getting together as a couple without intending to have sex doesn't lead to marriage, it leads to being friends.

So, as that's really the case, that those getting married aren't just looking for a "partner" but are also looking for a mate, it becomes very important.

In fact, sex becomes even more important for people than it does for animals because we use sex for a variety of reasons. Sure, we use it for procreation as well, but that isn't its primary function in humans. Unlike other animals, we generally don't raise multiple groups of offspring over the course of our lives. Even the best of us will usually only accomplish having five or six children, so at most, over the hundreds of times we have sex, only a handful of them were meant to be procreative.

The primary function sex seems to serve in us is bonding and communication. The behavior is intimate and pleasurable. Having sex secures and reinforces the love and commitment two people feel toward one another. It's one of the prime ways they can show affection toward one another. Generally speaking, the healthier the sex life is in a marriage, the healthier the marriage is overall.

If you look at marriages where there is little or no sex, generally one or both partners begin to feel frustrated and hostile toward the other, and become unhappy with their marriage. Often it leads them to have an affair, or abandon the marriage (and sometimes their family) entirely.

So in that regard, it's important to continue having sex over the course of your marriage because it's good for the relationship, and keeps both partners feeling more satisfied with their mate and their marriage, leaving them far less likely to "stray afield".

Answer 2

I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean... if you're asking why people say it's important to wait until after you're married, the answer's pretty simple. It is socially accepted because of religious beliefs to expect that people will stay virgins until they are married. However, this is fast becoming an out-dated viewpoint. There are very few people who really find waiting until marriage to be the ideal way to conduct their sex lives. But, those people who cling tightly to religion and base their moral perception on that alone, will most likely want to wait because they feel that only then their sexual expressions would be allowed in God's eyes. I think that's a load of crapola, but my opinion doesn't really matter.

Answer 3

People make a big deal about as a throwback to a very old tradition. A very, very long time ago, when a man and woman got married, their first night together, consummating the marriage (having sex), was actually the first time either of them *had* sex. So, back then, it *was* a big deal.

In our current culture, it goes a little more like this:

Best Man- "Alright, bro. Tonight's the night, eh? It's all about you and her, right? Sex, sex and more sex... he he."

Groom- "Dude. We've got 3 kids."


Or it might go like this:

Mom- "Oh honey. I'm so proud of you. You're going to be married... oh my little girl..."

Bride- "OK Mom, don't make such a big deal about it."

Mom- "Honey, let me tell you what my mother told me on my wedding day. You see, tonight when the two of you are all alone on your honeymoon...."

Bride- "Mom, do you *really* think that we haven't been doing it for the last three years we've been together? Jeez, I'm eighteen years old! You don't have to give me advice."

Answer 4

it shouldn't be such a big deal, considering to some people, sex only makes up 10% of their marriage and what they stand for. But then, there are those who need it everyday. But I think sex is important. It's part of marriage.

Answer 5

Sex, by its self is a normal drive that is part of the human makeup but , it is also the most significant expression of love between two people and seals the bond of matrimony. There is a no more significant expression of love than when two people are joined as one during sexual intercourse. There is a huge difference in having sex as a means of recreation and having sex within a marriage where there is love and mutual adoration.

Answer 6

Sorry, your question is not clear. If you are talking about saving sex until marriage (remaining a virgin until then) it is important for several reasons:
1. no fear of unwanted pregnancy
2. no fear of raising a child alone without support or a partner
3. no fear of STDs

Another thing to think about: you can only give your virginity to one person. Why not save it for the man you love enough to marry? Can you think of a more loving gift?

Answer 7

Well, it supposedly binds you to each other heart and soul. Especially after just going through your nuptuals and wedding vows. Besides, marriage means your off the market and found someone to spend the rest of your life with.

Answer 8

Because this is the requirement of the body to have reproduction working.Otherwise a hype has been created by the people,who can not think anything extra.

Answer 9

Seriously I have no idea too but perhaps, they have always wanted to lose their virginity to someone they truly love so yeah, when the urge is there, u just need to get it done and over with ASAP! Haha!

Answer 10

You really need to talk to your husband about making love.

If you enjoyed it, you would see what the "really big deal" is all about!

Best of luck to you!