My GF of 7 years asked for a break about 3 weeks ago what do i do?

Question

So, we have been together for 7 years, both of us have felt this way at one point or another but we have never broken it off completely. there has been true love here the kind you may never find in a million years of searching. She decided that she loves me, but is no longer in love. We still talk everyday and see eachother once in awhile, the friendship is there (even though i hate it) but there is no initimacy. I did nothing and she agrees, what do i do? walking away is not an option

Answer 1

I was with my "X" for 6 years and we also decided after all that time that we needed a change. It was hard for me...but I understood that it was for the best...we were young at the time and needed to experience more than what we had...After not being together for 4 years we still talk and we are cool with each other....And the possibility of getting back together is still there...People grow and things change...you said that walking away was not an option???? That sounds kind of scary, because it is making you sound a little obsessed with her...Now like I said it's making you sound that way by no means am I saying that you are...But perhaps you need to reconsider the whole situation...It seems she has told you her reasons and that was that she is not in love with you like she was once....She is being honest with her feelings and I think you need to respect her choice. Of course it's hard when you love someone...but would you rather be with her knowing that she doesn't love you...or would you rather just let it go and test the water else where....????? And letting go probably would be the best because it seems you can't and won't be able to be her "friend"...But in the other hand give it time...maybe she does just need a break to clear up her head....

Answer 2

If walking away is not an option, then you have to be realistic and accepting of the transformations that has occurred in your life in regards to your ex-girlfriend

1. Be clear that your relationship has transitioned and is now a platonic friendship and find a way to accept the new relationship you have now “friendship”

2. Mourn the lost of your intimate relationship you had with her, after all it was 7 years of your life and it sounds like this change took you by surprise.

3. It will not be easy but you must accept the boundaries that she has set in place and know that loving you and being in love with you are two vastly different things.

4. Be mindful of your purpose for maintaining your relationship with her. If its in hopes that she will change her mind please be careful because you might be unknowingly setting yourself up for heartache and disappointment.

5. If you truly cannot accept the change of the relationship without secretly yearning for a rekindling of what you once had then for your own psychological health you may have to put some distance between you both so that you can gain some perspective and clarity on the situation. This will also give you time to heal the ties that bind.

Often this kind of end to a relationship is the hardest because no one did anything wrong. It is almost easier when there is someone to blame because then you don’t have to face seeing the hurt and hurting the other person when you have to for the sake of your own integrity and concern for the other end the relationship. In your case it sounds like one person outgrew the other which often happens when people grow apart. It does not diminish the love it does however change it.

The kindest thing you can do for yourself at this point is to accept. Accept that your relationship has change. Accept that you will no longer have the intimacy you once had. Mourn the lost and move on with your life with her as a friend or without her all together.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, walking away is the only answer. You've been together for seven years but you never married. That's a sign right there. And being her friend doesn't sound like a good idea either, seeing how you are still in love with her. I've been there, and I walked away from it. You will find another girl. I know it seems bad right now, but sometimes people hold on when they need to push away. It's not going to be easy, and I don't envy you by any means. But when you've finally moved on and you see her again, you can actually be friends. You'll never forget each other, but the best thing for both of you is to just let go. Good luck, I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Wow. Do you think she could be upset because after 7 years of being together there wasn't a ring stating that you wanted to be committed to just her and only her? Have you two had a conversation about marriage? Is she or was she against it? This could be the cause for a sudden change in her wanting to no longer continue the relationship with you. Seven years is a long time to be with someone without a committment being set.

Try sitting her down and have a really deep heart to heart conversation with her and see where it goes. If she's really into you and knows that you are into her the way you say you are, then something will definitely give. Communication is the key. You have to express what you want. What you want out of life and the relationship. If the conversation doesn't help, then unfortunately you will have to cut your losses. It will hurt for sometime, but time heals a broken heart. :o)

Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

Sometimes time is all that's needed. If she starts seeing other guys then you should be afraid. What you really need to do is give her the gift of missing you by taking a break. A friend of mine at work recently did this with his girlfriend of 6 years. They stopped talking a lot and only had sex about once a month. Now they're happy as ever and she visits him every night at work. But, always keep in mind that not every relationship is meant to work out.

Answer 6

If there's no intimacy, then I really doubt its true love. I think its more like "You care for her", The best thing is to walk away...stay friends...but get on with your life because somewhere out there, there is a woman just for you that you can feel intmacy with. Right now, your seeing love in 2 dimensions. When its real and with the right person, love becomes 3 dimensional and everything just looks and feels better

Answer 7

I think you both should have realized this years ago and broke it off the way I see it is after 7 years together you should have known she was the one and been married for a number of years by now

Answer 8

well the best thing that you can do even though it is going to hurt and i know this from experience. When we girls break things off and say that you haven't done anything it some times is really because you haven't. maybe right now she is going through something and it is better for her to be alone. You never know things could definately work out between you two especially since you seem to love her that much, just hang in there

Answer 9

You can stick around and wait, while she has sex with other guys, and hurts you more, she is never coming back, so you are just delaying the outcome by sticking around, so go date some other girls and see what else is available to you. Don't tell her you are dating others, it's none of her business anyway, she wants a break, means breaking it off....Slowly, she just does not know how to let go and is actively looking for someone else to come along.

Answer 10

Just be cool about it. Try going out on a date with someone else as a first step. Keep up the friendship with her. Maybe even ask her for dating advice. Who knows she may even change her mind once she see you moving on.