not so much a question?

Question

i just feel so bad,i got bad news about my grandma last night,that she down 2 her last days, and if that ain't bad i feel as if im loseing
my husband i just feel like s*** and i dont want it 2 be true we've been together for more then 13yr and for someone to destroy that is like putting a knife in me we have 4 kids and i dont want what im feeling 2 effect them at all, all i want 2 do is cry and go off on my husband. and i love my grandma and i don't want too lose her yet,she lives so far away from me,

Answer 1

I'm sorry for your loss & your struggles.

Answer 2

It sounds like these problems are depressing you very much.
Hold on, you will survive this. My heart really goes out to you.

The think with the husband, the feelings that something is wrong, is probably true...so DO something !!!
Refresh the relationship. How? Start by putting your pride on the side, and start with being soft and sweet, and touchy and caring again, like in the beginning. FLIRT with him. Make yourself all pretty for him.
Have all your chores done BEFORE he gets home as much as possible. Schedule the kids things so that you have a few mintues with him alone each evening. Don't expect much from him right now...YOU do the work, and just be his "girlfriend" and his "BEST-friend", and pay attention to what he's saying and do the "dating" laugh, and the "dating" eye contact and smiles. You know what I mean.
Give this project a couple of weeks, and work at it girl. Give all your womanly prowse to this, and you WILL reap the rewards. He'll start to feel better about the two of you in just a short time. When you see the little changes in him, then you'll be encouraged to continue.

About Grandma, that's hard, and be assured, that "grieving" does go rather quickly, when you stay busy. You'll naturally go through the processes of denial, anger at God, and wanting to DO something knowing you can't, and then finally acceptance. Remember, you've had her a long time...and now God wants her with him, and he'll make sure she is the happiest she's ever been, and without pain, and feeling wonderful in every way. TALK to Granma after she passes, I'm sure she'll hear you and comfort you.

In all things I wish you love
STW

Answer 3

I think first of all you must realize that you are going to have a lot of emotion to let out. It needs to come out and there needs to be a grieving period. For you it's going to be intense, with crying, and probably verbal. Do your husband, family and yourself a favor by saying it just that way. Tell them in words and full sentences what's going on inside you and that you are going to say things you don't mean, you're going to be hard to live with for a few weeks, and you may make your family angry at times, but that you are aware that it's because of the emotion and you ask their understanding and patience as you work you're way though the crisis. And then return that favor if your family encounters a similar life crisis in the future.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry you are going thru this ~ do you have any close family or friends you go talk to or maybe you could go do something with them to cheer you up. I know this doesn't solve the problem, but you might feel a little better. If you want to save your marriage, you need to talk to your husband to find out exactly what is going on (best wishes luv)

Answer 5

I've been in a similar situation some years ago. It is very difficult. I felt very angry at my partner. He wasn't there for me when I needed him. I felt guilty because I couldn't be there for my Gram. I took all my junk out on him so that only pushed him away more. My advise would be to be selfish. Focus on yourself. I don't mean go shopping. Try journaling out all the crap you want to sling at him. Write a letter to your Grandmother, read it to her if possible, if not maybe you could put it in her casket. Burn it if she's to be cremated. Allow yourself to cry. Pamper yourself, take a nice bath, get a massage, go on a b*tch free diet (that is stop it-write it down instead) . Know and trust that you are loved and life will go on and will get better.

Answer 6

It's natural to fee really bad about your grandmother, mine raised me and when she passed it hit me like a shot to the throat. Go see her and say your good byes. Don't feel guilty about it, you will regret not doing it. Mourn her and appreicate the time you had with her and honor her memory.

Don't go off on your husband, try to get some counseling for your mourning of grandma and to work on your marriage. Try to lean on him, try to make him understand how you feel by talking to him. People sometimes are there for us if when we least expect it. Talk to friends family and discuss good memories of grandma and the good old days of your marriage.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I understand what your going through, and yes that all does sux. And with your husband, you can work out your problems and everything! Just talk to each other, the key is communication! You two have 4 kids together, so it will def. be hard on them too, ya know. So talk it out, get counceling if you have to!

Answer 8

if he goes stay friends with him don't go off on him.when he goes you fine someone another man ,cause when he sees someone is with you he will change his mind and after a while he will see it"s not greener one the other side.and when he misses what he had he'll be glad to come back and stay with his family.and think of this yes it's hard to lose grand ma i have no more grandmas nor paws but i think of it like this. how do you get to see the lord we must pass to the other side.so i think of them as we can't see the lord in the bodies we r in now. so when some one dies i say they r on a trip like no other and i wish i could see them on it when they see my lord

Answer 9

What are you saying? Whos hurt? You,your grandma,or your husband? Or your kids? I dont understand. I feel your pain though. God Bless You.

Answer 10

i lost my grandma too 3 years ago. you should try and see her before she goes, but if you can't, don't feel bad, you'll always remember her.
try to make up with your husband and be nice to him and the kids. it will all work out! have faith!