My boyfriend and I have had a rough couple of weeks. I was at his house four nights this week because I've had a lot of bad stuff happen to me this week and I needed a shoulder to cry on. Last night we were talking on the phone and he told me not to take it personal but having me over was "getting old". So tonight I had planned a surprise night of candles and music and alla that stuff, but I'm not sure if I should give him space instead. Any ideas?
2006-06-16 06:38:57 · 24 answers · asked by Krissy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He told you what he needed..
And women say we don't communicate.. What else should he say.. HE NEEDS SPACE..
Surprising him might make you feel better.. but HE NEED SPACE.
In Summary.. I think it's pretty clear.
HE NEEDS SPACE.
Duh.
-HtJ
2006-06-16 06:42:29 · answer #1 · answered by hesterthehester 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would give him his space. If you put together the romantic night right after he asked you for space you'll more than likely come off as being overbearing. People tend to be like bars of soap, the harder you grab that bar the more likely it's going to want to pop out of your hand.
Also, I would be a little concerned about his use of the phrase "getting old". It sounds more like he feels he's being intruded upon rather than needing space.
2006-06-16 13:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Pixel Pusher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the space and plan your special surprise for another night. He'll be much more receptive to it. He asked for space...if you had, wouldn't you appreciate it if you got the space you asked for? Go do something fun for yourself. Everyone needs a timeout every once in a while.
2006-06-16 13:41:35 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Getting old" is his way of telling you directly that he'd rather not see much of you anymore. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but he definitely asked you to give him more than just space. He basically said, "Don't call me, I'll call you." Planning anything at this time is a bad, bad idea. Apparently, you're the only one in this "relationship" (and I use the term loosely) who's feeling romantic.
2006-06-16 13:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by BeenThere69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should definitely give him some space for a while. Let him make the next move. This may be a hint that he is done with the relationship.
2006-06-16 13:44:25 · answer #5 · answered by amyindallas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to back off from him. If he tells you that he's needing some space, give it to him. Once he starts missing you, he'll come back to you, and isn't that what feels the best? when you're not following after a guy, but that he's coming after you. Let yourself be pursued by him and not worry. He'll come back to you and respect you more if you disappear for a little while.
2006-06-16 13:41:27 · answer #6 · answered by aloha_lea413 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Getting old" having you around? Gee...think that'll come in handy after you've been married 20 or more years?
How can you not take it personal? Give him his "space". Save the dinner for another time when he feels like he's ready to take you back into his life.
Or....how about I come by and cook? I do gourmet though. No hanky-panky...married you know but I get to cook. Thats all that matters to me!
2006-06-16 13:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him for about 2-4 days than surprise him.
2006-06-16 13:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by D Ray 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some space. The romantic nite is nice but he'll appreciate it more after he has a little time to himself
2006-06-16 13:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by stevie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should definitely give him space alot of it. Let him have a few nights to him self.. let him hang out with the guys for a while. let him have some time so he could miss you... he cant do that if your ALWAYS every where he turns.
2006-06-16 13:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jennie C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
space is always the better deal cause if he really wants to be with you, space will make him want you more. Then surprise him that will be romantic
2006-06-16 13:43:31 · answer #11 · answered by hot_mommie00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋