sleep problem?

Question

I am recently married. After marriage, my wife moved into my house. We have slept on my queen size bed since then.

The problem is that I could not sleep very well if someone is around me. I wake up many time at night and feel drowsy at work everyday.

I try to convince my wife to sleep seperately. However, she feel very bad about my idea. and tell me that she is hurted .

What should I do? We just fresh couples, I really love my wife and don't want to hurt her. On the other hand, I feel my health is suffering because of lacking of good sleeps. Any marriage advice and medical advice?

Answer 1

I am not a doctor...

You might try getting a King Size bed. (A "California King" is the roomiest).

Also, because you are "recently married", I suggest that you give it time -- you'll get accustomed to sleeping with someone else near you and then you'll find it uncomfortable to sleep without her there. Give it time.

To sleep better, meanwhile, you might try some exercise (to make it harder to stay awake at night); chamomile tea (relaxant); Kava Kava or Valerian Root (herbs that induce sleep).

Answer 2

A bigger bed would make a difference. But sleeping separate would hurt your marriage, what is more important. Yes, it takes time to readjust to sharing your bed with someone. How old is the bed, maybe you need a new one. When you sleep in the bed on your own you create a dip into the mattress where you sleep, but when you add another person that same bed your forced to sleep on the side of the dip and it may be uncomfortable for you. A new mattress would help, but then do you like firm and her soft or visa versa. King makes a big difference. Try melatonin 1mg 1/2 hr to an hour before bedtime. Herbal sleep aid, it does thin your blood so be aware. Here is a web site to give you info on the pill.

http://health.yahoo.com/drug/d04058a1

Chamomile tea is good with honey, warm milk or try a relaxation tape to fall asleep to. Use head phones. Maybe even another pillow.

But above all else do not choose the sleep in separate bed theory. Bad for marriage. Your one now and get use to it.

Answer 3

I sympathize with you. I can't sleep with anyone in the bed either, not used to it. I wake up too.

Get a bigger bed, maybe? Did you tell your wife that your health is suffering? Perhaps on days off when you two are at home, you can take naps together so that your mind and body can get used to another person there with you. Let your wife know that you are not rejecting her, but that your mind and body just aren't used to having another person in the bed with you, even if you happen to love that person. Let her know it's nothing personal against her, and that if you could wave a magic wand and change things, you'd be more than comfortable with her in bed with you. It's not her, it's your mind/body, that's all.

I hope this helps.

Answer 4

I have the same problem-I'm not married...but I've been with someone a long time. Get a bigger bed-you'd be suprised at how much bigger a king is...then you won't even have to touch because you'll be so far apart on the bed. Or maybe you can tell her that you want to get two twin beds and sleep in the same room...then you can just push them together once and a while.

Answer 5

get a king sized bed, preferably a calif king, wider more room between you, also you may just be suffering from sleep apnea, do you snore? also you may have a mattress that is uncomfortable to you now that you wife has joined you, you can only sleep well if you are comfortble and supported so go to your local sleep shop and test the mattresses you may want to look into a select comfort (sleep number) mattress where you can each have the comfort level you desire. Try it out you will not be disappointed.

Answer 6

I would not kick your bride out of the bed. Instead seek counseling from a therapist or church official. Maybe you could temporarily use a sleep aid until you get used to a person sharing your bed.

Answer 7

Try drinking a glass of warm milk before going to bed. It will help. You should see a medical doctor if you continue having problems

Answer 8

Use melatonin, it over the counter in varying doses of up to 3 mg per tablet. It will help induce your sleep.
as of what you have decribed this is very natural and you will get used to it. Don't worry ;)

Answer 9

Try a king sized bed.

Answer 10

wow..that's a tough one...being married and not being able to sleep with Ur spouse....Chamomile tea is good for helping to sleep,,,why don't u try it before you go to bed...it will calm your nerves and help u to relax...