Why is my ex doing this?!!!!?

Question

I broke up with her a month and a half ago after a 3 year relationship. I did the crying thing etc, but now i'm just getting on with things and trying to have fun with my friends. She broke up with me stating a lot of ridiculous reasons (my friends believe she met someone, but to be honest, if that was true, i'm glad she dumped me!). I haven't tried to contact her for a month or so now, and I haven't said one single nasty word about her to anyone. I keep hearing through friends that she has been saying lots of things about me, like I treated her badly, I'm a coke addict (I don't touch the stuff and I was an ideal boyfriend!!!! Well, maybe not ideal, but I never nagged her, she had her freedom to do as she pleased with her friends etc) and other things like that!! Why would she say things like that about me when i've been nothing but nice about the whole situation? When I got dumped, I gave her a lift home and wished her the best!! Why is she trying to turn my friends against me?!?!

Answer 1

Shes probably realised you weren't as into her as she was into you and her ego hurts. You're meant to cry, act like a baby and beg her never to leave you so she feels justified in what shes done, not act like a mature dignified man. Your real friends will know shes talking rubbish, maintain your dignity and rise above and thank god you are well out of it!!!

Answer 2

Validation! she's bad mouthing you simply to validate her reasons for leaving the relationship. Now if it's all a lie, believe me she'll get hers. pay back is a mutha! What she is doing is immature and petty. don't let her change you, don't let her mold you into something you are not. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she's getting under your skin. I know it's hard to ignore, cause this is your reputaion were talking about. and you and I both know that once a rumor gets out, that rep goes KAPUT! Stay up and stay strong! This to will pass! Your ex will be exposed for what she really is, if she's lying on you. Even if she's telling the whole truth and nothing but, she is still wrong. And she is certainly not in a position to cast stones! Idle gossip? She needs to get a life! Best wishes

Answer 3

She might be insecure about her break up with you. She might worry that you'll say things about her or worry people find out how good you are in the relationship and looks down on her. It might also be that she's dating someone and don't want people to think that she left you for him, but to think she left you because you treated her bad.

She's definitely worrying about something and feeling insecure, that's why she's doing this.

The best thing to do is ignore her and go have fun and enjoy your time with your friend. After a while it'll die down and it'll be over. Of course if it gets really bad, then you might want to call a conference and confront her allegation in front of your friends. Consider that as a last resort though...

Its also a good time to see who you're real friends are. If any of your friends believe her about you, then you know what kinda of friends they are. You can use this toward your advantage.

Answer 4

She is just trying to look gud in the view of ur friends.
As its bad to be liking some other guy whn u already have a boyfriend. Obviously she dont want poeple to know that, so she is pretending to play the victime here n making people around thinking that u were a bad guy thats why she dumped u.

Well 3 years is bit long to be saying that u didnt treat her well whn u were in relstionship. If that was thr case why she waited 3 yrs to leave u, she could have don that long time ago.

I will just tell u that she doesnt deserve u, n u r on the good track of ur life. now about ur friends. As u state it here. they r ur friends n should know u. If they r ur real friends they will just ignore wat she is saying n better help u in life n overcome the situation.

Its time to know who ur true friends r.

Answer 5

She's doing this to get a rise out of you. Because you didn't make a comotion over it. You got dumped and went away and lived your life. She doesn't know that you cried and probably threw things. Also, her not getting a rise out of you, she's thinking you never really cared. We women are fical, we think that if you get mad and curse us and call us then you care. If you get mad when a guy talks to us, your jealousy shows you care. That type of thing. However, and this is probably the most true, it's a situation where she didn't want you, but she still wants YOU to want HER! She wants to know that she destroyed you by leaving and if you aren't calling and begging for her back, she's not getting the twisted validation she wants. I say just continue to ignore it. If your friends believe what she says, after knowing you and without talking to you about it, then are they really friends?

You are doing the right thing, just move on with your life.

Answer 6

I am sorry I wish I knew both sides of this but I bet she is young and immature. She is trying to sound grown up by playing the injured woman routine. She may be covering for her feeling guilty about breaking up with you and doesn't want her friends to think she is the bad guy in this. If you really are the genuine guy you say you are. Try to ignore it. Your true friends know that you are not like that and someday you will meet someone who appreciates you for who you are. Good luck

Answer 7

She's probably feeling insecure about herself and needs attention. If her real reasons for breaking up are ridiculous she's probably making some up just to sound credible. Don't let her think she's gotten to you. She's probably trying to get a rise out of you. Continue to be cordial to her. Stay cool. It'll let her know that you've moved on and don't have time to deal with her childish games. Your friends should know you well enough. No matter how much crap she talks about you, I doubt your friends will turn against you.

Answer 8

i am going through the same thing right now , i was with this girl for six months and we had a terriable time together just because i didnt like the same music as her or conform to her hatred for some of my ex co workers she did have a hard past and i did try to see this as a reason why she was like this but she treated me bad and when i finished it over four months ago and still to this day she is saying all crap about me and one of my past exs just bring up personal details about me and a illness i have she has even told ppl that and it really hurts to know some one you did have feelings for could do such a thing to you i had to leave my last job over her i walk in one day and quit and i was one of the managers there she was a manageress and it still hurts today but itell you this bud i am know in my heart just beacuse i am not with her she is trying her best to get to me still she told me once if i cant have you then no one will, it scared me bad but she is bitter and full of hatred and ppl like that do not need bf or gf they need help , the best thing to do is move on and phone her up and say i though we were going to be friends and let all the past behind us and if she does not what to do this ,move on yourself as you tryed and it proves you are the better person out of all this ,it has happen to many a person and they have moved on from ppl like this ,i hope you find some help in this and i hope this person stops acting childish and moves on with their life aswell

Answer 9

Were they just your friends or mutual friends? She may be trying to get them on her side under the thought that they can not be friends with both of you. Really this isn't true, if you are both mature people than every one can stay friends, but based on her saying those things she is probably immature and needs the reassurance from your friends that they will stick with her even if she's not with you.

Answer 10

I think she regrets breaking up with you and feels that criticising you will make her feel better.

Just because SHE did the dumping doesn't mean she is not hurt, sometimes they are the ones who hurt more because they let a good thing slip out of their life.