I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old that refuse to do what I ask them to.(ie.. clean up their toys and dirty clothes) It always turns into a fight and I don't know how much more fight I have left in me. PLEASE HELP ME!
2006-06-16 05:08:05 · 13 answers · asked by Amanda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have taken away practically every toy they own. we have done "time out", standing in the corner, taking away stereos, no tv, and even no outside playtime and they don't care.
2006-06-16 05:24:56 · update #1
Who is the boss ? YOU ARE. Dont let them rule your life. Let them know there are consequences for not doing as they are told. Toys that dont get picked up, get thrown in the trash and make them put them there. I bet things will change then. Discipline is key and children need and crave it. Schedules are important. There should NEVER be an argument with your children especially at this age. What YOU say goes.........Get strong. Good luck.
2006-06-16 05:13:41 · answer #1 · answered by Kit Kat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THAT'S EASY: To get your kids to do what you ask them to do -
first figure out what they want to do - then ask them to do that.
No, seriously - don't fight over the small stuff. If it's really not all that significant to their health, safety, etc. - don't get worked up over it. If their room is a bit messy, it is not the end of the world: If the messiness gets to the point of being a hazzard it is significant.
Once you've determined which are and which are not battles to "fight" There has to be consequences for misbehavior and disobedience - not hollow threats, not fights, but CONSEQUENCES. and you must be CONSISTENT. Enlist the help of your spouse too, you must be consistent.
If you say no desert until you eat your peas - mean it, and enforce it. Don't say what you don't mean and don't give in. If they want ice cream they must eat their peas, even if the peas have gotten cold.
Once they face consistent loss of privileges TV, games, deserts, or whatever. They will learn. AND once they see that you are not going to start a civil war over every small thing - they will learn to respect the things that you do insist on.
2006-06-16 05:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they have a favorite song? If so, make a game out of it. Sing that song as they clean up. Or, are you crafty? Make some neat organizers...or buy some. One that says "toys" another that says "dirty clothes" or something like that.
Or if you're one of those "firm" parents, get down to their level and look them in the eye. Eye contact is key! Ask them what you would like to have done. If they don't do it, have a "naughty chair" or a "time out chair". Put it in a really boring place and have them sit in it for five minutes. They may scream, but they will learn.
2006-06-16 05:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is start taking things that are important to them away from them. If they keep leaving there toys out then tell them the next day that they can't play with those toys because they didn't want to put them away the day before and before you know it, they will doing what you want. The key is you have to make them realize that you are the boss and put your foot down when it needs to be done.
2006-06-16 05:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make eye contact before you give instructions, and only give one or two tasks at a time. I have two boys with ADHD ~ they "can't hear" unless they're looking at me and there's NO WAY they'll remember more than 2 things to do! Another thing I do (that just kind of accidentally worked) is say "ready, set, go!" after the instructions. So I'll say, "OK, look at me." (wait until they do!) "You need to pick up your toys and put your shoes in the closet. READY, SET GO!" ~ they take off like it's a race! Be patient and hang in there! You are SOOO not alone with this!
2006-06-16 05:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by browneyedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, that's just called having kids. You sound like you have your hands full with a 4 and 5 year old. Hang in there!
Do they get punished when they don't do something wrong? My son doesn't listen to me but if I say.."I'm going to tell your dad" he's jumping right up to do it. How about them not getting to watch their fave show? Go to movies on the weekend? Take things away when they don't listen to you. Make a punishment and more importantly, follow through.
2006-06-16 05:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't follow through with your threats, they won't take you seriously. Disobedience should have real and immediate consequences (but hitting or spanking is not the best consequence; try loss of a privilege or a time out instead). Once they learn to expect this, they will be less likely to ignore what you are asking of them.
2006-06-16 05:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by neanah_e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh if you ever do figure it out..LET ME KNOW!!!! UGH!!! have been fighting this same fight with my 5 year old all week. It took two full days of being on his butt..he finally got the toy's picked up, but omg...never on the first time asking!
Ohhh yesss...and hauled two trash bags of toys out to 'be put up' for awhile as well..ugh
2006-06-16 13:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by celeste_moon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spankings are a work of GOD i mean they are young and all you need is a light pat on the butt and they'll start doing stuff take control and take privlages away like if they don't put their toys away no playing for toys for 1 or two days. see preatty simple
2006-06-16 05:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have a suitable punishment for them if they dont do as you ask.like make a graph for the wall reward good behaviour with a star taking away a star for bad behaviour with a reward at the end of the week, make sure you stick to it reward the winner you will soon have them queing up for stars good luck give it a try dont give a prize to the looser otherwise your defeating the object
2006-06-16 05:16:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋