is it okay?

Question

hi. okay i really love my boyfriend and everything. i'm 16 and he's 17. we have had about 3 or 4 pregnancy scares in the past few months and at the time we were pretty much hoping that i wouldn't be pregnant. but more recently, with the last one, i guess, i really hoped i was pregnant. i want my own baby so badly and i know we would be okay taking care of it. the two of us have had this conversation a lot recently, and he really wants one too. i dont know, but would it be okay if i did have a baby? or should we just wait until we're older?

Answer 1

Pregnancy before reaching adulthood is usually not recommended by parent, because of the fact that your ability to support youself has not flourish yet.

To support a new born child does take lot of effort and patience, usually people wait until they are financially sound and in a stable relationship before considering having a baby.

To have a baby at such young age does come with certain burden; some of the things that you guys might want to consider before going forward.

- Having a baby means you need income to support your family, so either one of you have to get a job whether its full time or part time. The other one probably have to stay home to look after the baby unless your parents are willing to take care it for you.

- You'll probably have to put college on hold since having a baby and working is very difficult, most people fail college because they have to support their family and don't have the energy/time to study.

- With no degree from college, you are stuck with low-paying job from company unless you can apply for government job like post office or transportation, but that normally have a waiting period.

-Does your future spouse have to ability to handle stress? Being a dad and work/study is very stressful. Can he take the heat and still smile to you and your kid coming home after a long day?

Not trying to scare you, but its something you should definitely talk about with your boyfriend. Having a kid is real easy, its raising one that's gonna need all the help you can get.

Answer 2

Everyone I know who doesn't have children just LOVES babies. Sadly, most of these people are grown adults (early-mid 20s) and would probably go apesh*t if they had to care for a newborn for one day, let alone the next 18 years.

While you might very well make a wonderful mother, I think 16 is entirely too young to take on the responsibility of carrying a child to term, then raising it. At 16, you're still in high school. How could you work to support this baby? It requires at least a full time job for you and your boyfriend. Babies are expensive little creatures. Diapers and formula and doctors visits don't come cheap...

Also, when was the last time you spent any amount of time with a newborn? Sure, it's all fine and well to go visit your sister who has a baby or a friend or what have you, but there's more to having/raising a baby than just holding it occasionally and watching it while it sleeps. When the baby wakes up from it's nap and is screaming and pissed off and in pain because it's colicky, you can't just hand it over to its mother and take off for the mall. No sirree...this baby is yours to look after forever. No more just running a brush through your hair, grabbing your purse, and taking off for the movies spur of the moment. First of all, if you even have the energy to go out, you'll have to find a sitter, make sure you have money to pay the sitter, make sure you have money to go out (LOL). Chances are, you won't be out long becuase you've been up 4 or 5 times the previous night with a crying, hungry baby, and you're drained.

As for having help from your family...if your parents are good people, I'm sure they'd love to help out occasionally by babysitting, but I can very quickly see this turning into a situation where the grandparents end up "raising" the child because the parents don't want to take responsibility.

While I don't know you and can't pass judgment, I can tell you that I have yet to meet any 16 year old girl or boy who were good parents, or who were financially/mentally/emotionally ready to raise a child. At 16, you're still a child yourself. You're still growing, for pete's sake!

Answer 3

Wait until you are older. You are 16 years old the only job you are going to get is at McDonald's or something. Children are expensive they have needs. Your parents are not going to want to be responsible financially or physically for a child. Get on protection.

The best thing you can do is to graduate high school and go get a degree or some kind of certification and get a good job.

Yes babies and children are cute but they have needs that are ongoing. Those needs require money. How easy do you think it is going to be getting through high school and college with a child. Also any person I have talk to that has had a child young loves their kids but wished they had them older.

Think about your friends will be going to football games and dances you'll be at home taking care of a baby. You are young enjoy yourself. You'll have plenty of time for children. Also if you have a child say at 17 or 18 and when your child has one you'll be a grandma in your 30's or 40's. Do you really want to be considered a grandma that young?

Go out have fun, babies come into the future. Also remember babies only stay cute babies for a couple of years than them become preschoolers, school ages, pre teens, and teenagers. They will only be those cute little infants for a short time. Are you ready to take on the responsibility of active children

Answer 4

I completely understand. Even though my daughter was a surprise, when I started spotting a second time during pregnancy, I was very upset and scared. Once she was growing in me, I didn't want to let go.
However, it wouldn't be fair to a baby to purposely get pregnant at your age. Aside from being still in school (and education is important, no matter how annoying that statement is), babies take a lot of energy. Even as young as I am, I'm utterly worn out AND sick because I have to constantly be alert and hardly have time to eat right. So my body is fighting to keep healthy and continue healing from the cesarean.
Before trying to have a baby, you'll want your boyfriend to have a well-paying job that will be understanding about his needs as a father. In addition, you'll want to think very hard about if you're emotionally ready. There's nothing quite so tearing of the heart to have your baby to yourself during the day and wanting to have some "real" human contact just for your mate to come home and be just as tired as you, plus a night of hourly crying. Then every year brings a new set of worries and pains to match your love. That's not even mentioning what a child will do to any other life plans you might have had, but I'm sure you've heard enough about those reasons to not have a baby.

Answer 5

I think you guys should finish school and maybe look into further education so you are able to support the baby!
You should want to give your baby the best life possible and be a good example to your children by getting an education so you are able to teach your children and be able to help them with school work!
I would wait a little longer and if you guys really love one another you can wait! It's hard i know, but eventually it will happen!
Remember, you are only 'single' once! (Childless) you are a mother forever! Just enjoy being young, and having a boyfriend and not worrying about a baby and the expenses and hard work that come with one! They aren't toys, they are alot of hard work!
I hope you two make the best decision for you! I wish you the best! Please ponder what I have said!

Answer 6

You might want to wait a while. Perhaps get a puppy- which is about 1/4 of the responsibility you will have with a baby. I waited until my 30's to have a child and I am continually astonished at what it takes - and we are finacially secure.
If your boyfriend wants to have a child with you- why not marry first? See if you can be husband and wife for a year before trying for a baby.
No matter what else- after a baby you NEVER have a life of your own again.
Everyone will give you all sorts of examples of what you have to give up- but please realize that this baby will depend on you- for everything and if you cannot or do not want to give over 100% of your free time, love and support - you may just want to wait.

Answer 7

You both are still pretty young and I'm guessing still in school. I would wait till you both at least get out of high school and get good jobs. I know how you feel wanting a baby. I always wanted a baby of my own since I was 16 but I waiting and now I'm glad that I did. I'm 23 almost 24 and I have a healthy beautiful little 8 month old girl. Good luck with your future.

Answer 8

yes definitely wait until you are older, let me tell you from experience... I love my son but I had him way to young and now I'm missing out on things I would love to do with my friends. And I would suggest to start taking some kind of birth control. Even though you think that you can handle a baby right now, just wait. Try doing something that involves children, like day care work. See how that goes and if goes good and you and you significant other are still together and are 100% sure that's what you want, then maybe!

Answer 9

wait! you know how many times girls have felt this about one of their first boyfriends, and they end up pregnant and alone. You'll hate those stupid good feelings once you are broke and don't have any free time for yourself because you are taking care of your baby. Even if he is a good, guy, wait, it's like one of those things once you cross the line u can't go back. You can't just make a wish and all your responsibilities go away once you have a child. You'll find out that you'll want to do/accomplish things and you can't because you don't have the money or support to do things with a child.

My great advice is to see what u and your b/f want to accomplish and do, do that stuff and keep in mind that you'll want to have someway of supporting your family/child needs. I have my kids and i want to make a better life for them, it's hard once you have them. Set up your lives so you are emotionaly and financially ready for a child, then go for it.

Believe me it's a much better life being able to provide for your child, then always worrying about money, and this and that etc.

hope this helps, give it some thought, i believe in this answer

Answer 10

all children - expecially babies take A LOT of work. You no longer get to come first - they must always come first. You don't get to go out with friends when you feel like it, you don't get to sleep when you want to, everything changes. While you may very well be able to take care of a baby, why not enjoy your teenage years now and wait a little while. You can't get your teenage years back, so enjoy them while you can. You have lots of time for a baby later. Don't get me wrong, my daughter is wonderful and amazing and I wouldn't trade her in for anything, and she is a lot of work. But, I wouldn't have wanted to have her any earlier either. Just something for you to think about and consider as you decide.