my son is 11 yrs old today and he has bipolar 2 really bad..?

Question

when he does not get his own way he starts kicking ,punching himself in the head and trys to hurt himself.. what can i do

Answer 1

I'll go out on a limb and presume that your son is already medicated. He needs therapy NOW. If you have health insurance, contact them to find out who they contract with to handle mental health needs. Then contact that organization and get your son scheduled with a child psychologist who specializes in Bi-polar kids and you'll need a psychiatrist as well to prescribe for him. If he is currently medicated, he may need a change in dosage or even in medication. In the meantime, if it's at all possible, designate one room in your home as the "safe" room. Remove all objects that could injure or be picked up and thrown. Your son obviously cannot have his way all the time. So when this happens, get him into the "safe" room and use yourself as a human straight jacket -- come from behind him, get him down onto the carpet and grab his wrists and cross his arms with your own. Use your legs to immobilize his, if you are able. If there is a father in the house, this will be easier for him to do. Keep your son immobilized. He will scream, he will yell, he may even curse. Ignore all this. Keep up a steady stream of soothing words in a low voice. Continue doing this and he will eventually refocus and be able to calm himself. This is tiring for parents but it works. Good luck.

Okay, I'm seeing that your 7-yr-old also has a behavior problem, which prompts me to ask has your 11-yr-old actually been screened for and diagnosed with Bi-polar or did you decide this? And there is no father in the house. However, your kids, both of them, and you need family therapy ASAP. I now believe this is a parenting and behavioral problem rather than a psychological/medical one. It may be a result of the divorce.

Answer 2

He's not bipolar he's a brat and a good whipping/spanking to let him know you are in charge no matter how long it takes should be the only medication he needs! The medicine he's on is worst than nothing at all. You've heard the commercial when it says, "take away a headache, but may cause nose bleed, cramps, sore throat, sexual side effects, bloating, dizziness, and in some cases death! Remember Vioxx? Men were having heart attacks and dieing from it. Now there's Lipator and they have a problem w/ that too. Be careful. Where's the Father? Don't give the kid too much sweets or fast food that stuff will kill you too. Good luck.

Answer 3

My daughter is 11yrs old and also a diagnosed bipolar. We have tried many different medications with no real significant improvement and some of the meds actually aggravated the behavior and made the temper tantrums worse. After three years and several medications, I finally got tired of the lack of success and the side affects of all the medications on my child's growing body. So, recently I slowly took her off all prescribed meds and tried a more holistic approach (low sugar diet, structured agenda day to day, and solid discipline with no flexibility for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior) so far I am seeing quite an improvement in her behavior.

I hope this may help some. I know how difficult it is to deal with this type of behavior from a child. I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution. Have patience and always love him even when he makes it difficult.

Answer 4

Apply for Supplemental Security income for him---also known as SSI--it is a disability program. It is a welfare based program so your income and resources could effect his eligibility. SSI is conducted by the Social Security Administration. CAll your local office or the 1-800 number and set up an appt or get more information. or go on SSA's website.. I hope this helps. Do not beat him! that is not the answer. your son needs help. If you do not have the medical evidence they MAY send him to one of their doctors--provided you are within income limits.

Answer 5

How was that diagnosed so young?

BiPolar is a very difficult thing to diagnose accurately...takes years. Yet some 'practitioners' will diagnose it in 15 minutes and push pills...this is one of the great fallacies psuedo-science.

Have you checked for food allergies?

Also, seems like consistent discipline would be in order.

Does he have any other way to express himself? Art?

Answer 6

has he been diagnosed bipolar? Please get help for him... you have a very hard and long road ahead of you.... be sure that he takes his meds and gets the 3 - 4 x a week counseling that is greatly needed.... with the right help and surroundings he can lead a good life.... but don't forget about you toooo... you need a break once in a while, if only for a hour. you are his strength.... remember it is is disease, not him. good luck

Answer 7

put him in the Naughty chair ... I also am bipolar ...and when I get upset and cranky it is best that I am not around people. So just give him a time out. Just because he is bipolar does not mean he gets his own way!!!! or you will be enabling him to use his bipolar to his advantage as he gets older.

Answer 8

he need alot of disipline ( what ever is appropriate for you) and needs to understand just because he is bipolar doesn't mean that he gets his way all of the time.but most of all he needs to be medicated. he really needs some help before he really hurts someone or his self.

Answer 9

Doesnt sound bipolar to me, it sounds like he hasnt been taught by his parents how to react to disapointment.

My guess is that he tried this at some point as a new way to react to you telling him no, and you instantly panicked. "JIMMY STOP THAT! DONT HIT YOURSELF!!" and fussed with him until he calmed down. And eventually he started doing it when he lost a video game, or when it was raining and he couldnt play outside.

Kids have to learn this behavior, it doesnt come naturally. Either tv, or peers, or conversation, some where he figured out this would not only get your attention, but might get him his way. I also would bet he started some sort of behavior like this about the time he started school. Probably nothing that you noticed as a problem.

Anyway, he's 11 now, which is nice because you can talk with him, and expect him to have some reasoning skills. If it were me, I would sit him down and ask him why he is hurting himself when he is angry. If he has any answer, which isnt likely (he'll probably dodge the question and not want to talk) he might lash out at you, or himself.

its hard when you have love for a child to know what to do to protect them, especially from themselves. Just remain calm.

You need to explain to him, caaaalmly, that these actions will lead to problems down the road. He will grow up to be a sad miserable man, who doesnt know how to be happy, and cant make good friends because he's always angry about something.

I would also explain to him that there are better ways that he can deal with things. Like talking. Next time you have to tell him no for some reason, call him to you. Sit him down, and calmly explain to him why he cant do something. Your reasoning doesnt have to be four pages long. "Because iam mom, and i love you, and i want good things for you. Right now you cannot do this, but we will try to find a time when it will work better." Before he has a chance to react, ask him how he feels about it. Ask him what he thinks about it. Take him seriously, because in his little mind it is a serious matter. THIS DOESNT MEAN YOU GIVE IN. Explain to him that you do hear him, and you do understand what he's saying. But that you simply cannot allow this action/behavior/activity.

Then divert him. Give him something different to focus on. Either a different game, or helping you in the kitchen or whatever.

If he wants to have a fit, you can explain to him that this is how toddlers behave, and if thats how he wants to act, then he will be treated that way. Explain to him that he will have to throw his tantrum alone, because you have work to do in the other room.

I would also use a time out chair/room/area. If he becomes violent towards you or himself, pick him up and move him onto the chair and tell him to stay there until he can calm down. You might have to repeat the process nine hundred thousand times. But you will exhaust him before he does you, if you make your mind up first.

Keep this up, even in public. You can use the back seat of the car. It makes your day much more difficult, and much longer, but this is for HIS sake, not yours. You can sit with him in the car until he's ready to try again.

I have yet to meet a child of his age who wants to be treated, or though of, as a toddler. Once he is able to connect his behavior with is appropriate age he will have more desire to end it. By asking him to talk things through with you, youre providing him with a new way to deal with disapointment. With the time out room and ignoring the bahavior you're showing him that these actions have consequence.

Also, booster this technique with little tid bits of wisdom here and there. Whenever the two of you are out and you see a small child or another child misbehaving, point it out to him. "Oh jimmy, that poor little girl, she must feel so sad that she doesnt know how to be angry without acting like a baby, i wish we could teach her to talk instead of crying/kicking/screaming" or just in passing now and then "Iam so glad you know how to be sad without getting angry." or "I am so glad that we dont hurt ourselves in this family."

You cant back down, and you cant let go of these things. They will work, as long as you stay calm, and focus on the outcome.

Answer 10

Take him to a therapist before it gets worse.