Ok my parents are Divorced and they have been for a very long time.. I'm so tired of hearing him talk bad about my mom. It makes me said to hear all this crap he says but i dont know what to say to him to make him stop.. Like i did b4 but he wouldnt talk to me for like a week but then he stopped so should i do that again or what.. can you help me Please
2006-06-16 03:45:39 · 38 answers · asked by Crazy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Simply tell the man that you as her daughter do not appreciate his abusive comments. If he continues to make them then sperate yourself from him even if you live in the same home. Whatever you do, don't stop loving him!!! However, a man that downs his wife or the mother of his children isn't a man and in my honest opinion he can't lead his children. HE IS A COWARD!!!!
2006-06-16 03:55:06 · answer #1 · answered by I. G 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Tell him again. Sit him down and talk, no yelling. Wait until he's in a receptive mood, then tell him that you're very proud to be a part of him as well as your mother and that it's ok if he feels the way he feels about her, as that's something he likely won't change. But tell him that you are just as much a reflection of him as you are of your mother and by saying nasty things about her, he's saying those things about you. Tell him you'd consider it the same way if the tables were turned and Mom was spewing bad things out her mouth about him. I hope that helps. Good luck to you.
2006-06-16 03:50:05 · answer #2 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can choose to either ignore it entirely when he says something. Pretend you didn't even hear it and don't acknowledge it. He's probably wanting a reaction from you and if you don't give it to him anymore, he might stop.
You could also tell him to tell that junk to someone who cares. Unfortunately he sounds like he is still bitter and it is sad when someone tries to poison the children against the other parent. Good luck. I've been there and the first suggestion worked for me.
2006-06-16 03:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Thrasher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say "Dad, that is my mom and I love her. Please don't say mean things about her because I am part of her". If he doesn't get that then just tell him he is setting a bad example. Ask him if it's ok that your ex is calling you bad names. Ask him why is he still so angry at your mom. Tell him to go get help. Tell him you love him and don't want to hurt his feelings but that he hurting your feelings everytime he says something bad about your mom. Give it a try. It can't hurt. If you love them both you will need to stop this now because you don't want to spend the rest of your life listening to him talk like that about your mother. Good Luck
2006-06-16 03:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by claudeward49 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him it's having a huge affect on you and to please stop, or you simply will avoid him. it's okay for him to have mean thoughts about her... and her about him...but it's definatly not okay for either of them to do it in front of you! they obviously thought the other was a great person before (because they were in love enough to marry and have kids) and maybe they miss that, and lash out to get over it. He has probably been hurt terribly by something your mom has said or done, and the best way to get her back is to hurt her for hurting him. And turning you against her would be a good way to get her back. BUT THAT'S WRONG! Just be straight with him, tell him"knock it off...you may not love her, or even like her, but i do! and it hurts me, that you talk so badly about someone I love. quit acting like a child!" Remind him it's his job to be a role model and he's not doing a very good job.
2006-06-16 03:54:33 · answer #5 · answered by kendrafer25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my parents split up, my dad did the same thing. It was very upsetting. I was very close to my Dad's mom, my grandmother. She was fantastic! Anyway, one day I asked my Dad to consider what it would be like for him if someone trashed his mother, my grandmother. How would it make him feel? I told him, I would be extremely upset if anyone said anything mean about grandmom! I think he finally got it! He didn't stop venting about my mom, but it was a lot less!
2006-06-16 03:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by maggiedillyyo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents have been divorced for 20 years, and my mom and dad will both say inapporiate things about the other.
I have simply said - ok we don't need to talk like that.
If you wanted to get at him a little to get his attention your should say, yea good one day - you should hear what she said about you the other day
2006-06-16 04:43:30 · answer #7 · answered by Roses Abound 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your dad how it is making you feel, hearing bad (possibly untrue) things about your mother. Tell him that although you can't totally stop him from saying hurtful things about your mother, you would appreciate it if he didn't say them while you are around.
You could also point out that at one time, he never saw anything bad in your mother otherwise you wouldn't be around!!
Good luck!!
2006-06-16 03:53:15 · answer #8 · answered by prettycute4u62040 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's WHAT you say to your dad about it, I think its HOW you say it to him. If you approach him in a calm and mature manner and just tell him that it hurts your feelings when he says things like that, and that she's still your mom and you won't feel the same way he does and you wish he wouldn't talk about her. Maybe this way he'll understand that it hurts you more than it makes you mad.
I hope it works out, good luck.
2006-06-16 03:53:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is acting immaturely by not talking to you when you make a reasonable request to stop talking negatively about your mother.
Tell him how you feel, if he continues to the cold shoulder trick, ask him to get counseling, as he obviously is not on track. He needs to grow up.
2006-06-16 03:50:27 · answer #10 · answered by fisherwow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋