Our married son treats his side of the family unfairly regarding visitation and sharing of holidays. Makes no effort to see or understand his parents feelings.
2006-06-16 03:03:27 · 7 answers · asked by jcr1945 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
who lives closer? You or her parents? It is hard to split things sometimes but if they are closer well all you can do is move so things are more even. I see my husbands side of the family more than my own because when we come home for holidays they want us home so much they pay for it. My family doesn't help with a dime unless I come right out and ask if they will then I hear this hour long story on how things are tight bla bla bla....
Just talk to your son and find out why he spends more time with them.
2006-06-16 03:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who in the family handles most of the planning and prep for a holiday? The wife. Fact of life. So it's natural that the wife would be spending more time with her side of the family, or doing the things she did, when it comes to holidays.
I said natural, not right. Right would be splitting it half and half, but that rarely happens and puts a lot of pressure on a young married couple.
The pressure can be so bad, that in the case of my husband and I, we moved 2 and 1/2 hours away from our parents rather than be in the middle of it anymore.
Christmas and "but you've already spent an hour over there" whines got so ugly, we didn't go 'home' for it again after the birth of our second child.
And we have four children, the second child is 16. So that's how long it's been.
Relax, step back, and let your son know you just want to see him. Doesn't matter when, doesn't have to be a holiday, it would just be nice to see him.
Once the pressure is off, you might see him on your doorstep more often.
2006-06-16 03:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by vanwoman06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, yes. The parents of the boy.... It's different.
Couples tend to spend more time with the wifes family.( assuming that both sets of parents are healthy and normal. Not toxic)
This is just life. Welcome to it.
You need to let it go. If you really feel that slighted you may want to have a short talk with your son. Don't expect too much to change. He needs to do what makes his family happy. and that family is his wife. You come second. That's how it should be.
2006-06-16 03:10:35 · answer #3 · answered by jymsis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit your son down and tell him how you feel and asked him if they can split the holidays between the families or at least stop by on holidays you can also invite them over for dinner or lunch for no reason just to spend time together and see if that works hope i can be of some help
2006-06-16 03:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by BIG MOMMA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother always said, "Lose a son, gain a son-in-law." That's just the way life works in our society. The wife has more power. There's not much you can do, except get on the good side of your daughter-in-law.
2006-06-16 03:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by kalsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you are obviously his parents.
why the hell you talk in 3rd person ?
No wonder, he refuses to visit you.
First, think aboiut, if you did somehting wrong.
Usually, its the fault of parents, when there is a problem with children.
2006-06-16 03:08:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel but not emotional dont need more conflict just show them how you missed him so much.
2006-06-16 03:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by BelleVie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋