Can somebody please help me? Welcome advice from girls AND guys...?

Question

I have a boyfriend who works in security. I love him very much, and he's told me many times that he loves me too. In fact, he was the first to say it!
But lately, he's been working so much, I hardly ever get to see him. It's so bad, that it's been two weeks since I've seen him and I haven't even SPOKEN to him for just over a week! I don't worry that he's seeing someone else, coz he really doesn't seem the type to do that. But I do worry wether he's lost interest in me or our relationship. When I DO get to talk to him, he's very loving and warm, and I feel like a fool for ever doubting him, but then it's days or more before I hear from him again! I love him, but I don't know if this is a base for a relationship that we can build on...

So my question is... Should I be worried about this, and if so, why?

Answer 1

Worry is an expression of fear; mainly fear of the unknown.
To start with understand that men and women are different. Women are more emotional than men as such they handle or approach issues with quite a good "bite" of emotions. If they bring more emotions into than is needed at the time, the amount of the excess, has a resultant factor of fear and thus the worry. Worry at times can present itself as premonition of something not right somewhere, but not always. There are more pointers if he is cheating but if it's only what you have sited, then no cause of worry.
If it continues untamed, worry may burst out to insecurity and identity crisis on your part. This taken further will land you to emotional overdependance where you literally get grounded before you are with him (this is not healthy please)
I admit men will at times use work as a cover-up when things are not going/following a desired course in a relationship:and to opt out, they will tend to indulging in an activity that consumes much time such that you will not notice that they are not feeling quite ok.
If there be nothing else, don't be alarmed. Have some quality time and express not your worry but what/how you would rather have things happens as relates to your meeting(s). Wish you well

Answer 2

Well you should not be worried if you trust him which it seems like you do. You should not worry because I mean if your love is true for each other then he will be there when he can and he is still think about you when he is not. But what you should do is tell him how you feel communication is Key is every relationship, let him know how you feel about the situation. Talk it out. Maybe he does not know what he is putting you through and if he did he would make a way to change things and work to give you more attention then he was giving you if that is what you need.

Answer 3

I would put some interest into this situation just because of the fact it bothers you. In the beginning of a relationship people typically tend to spend alot of time together and I think that it usually is too much time together because you end up getting tired of each other. I think in your situation you should try to get a little more time with him just so you two are able to bond but I wouldnt pay much mind to spending every moment available. And I definetely think that going a whole week without communication is a bit odd. So try and get more wuality time together but dont make it all the time.

Answer 4

i used to work security and it is very demanding and strssful work. If he works the night shift all he is thinking about when he gets home is bed. alone. If he works the day or afternoon he just wants to come home and relax and not deal with any more problems give him time i doubt he is seeing anyone else in fact he may be testing you to see if u can handle the demands of his career no man likes to think a female is jealous thats the best way to lose him hang in there he will come around

Answer 5

Everything seems OK to me EXCEPT THE FACT THAT HE IS NOT CALLING YOU! I can understand that his work keeps him away from you but hasn't he A MINUTE JUST TO CALL YOU AND HEAR YOUR VOICE? He may not cheat on you but surely there is something strange here. If he was crazy for you, he would call you at least once everyday. NOT TO CALL YOU FOR A WEEK SOUNDS VERY STRANGE TO ME!
Why don't you have a sincere conversation and talk about this? Don't fight with him, joust express him your fears and make complaints. Tell him that loves mean concern and by ignoring you a week shows no concern at all!!!

Answer 6

I wouldn't worry too much. My husband is in security as well and it is hard to find time for a family or relationship. Tell him you want to see him more and try to figure out a way that you can. Does he work someplace that you could go and meet him for lunch or his break? Sometimes that is nice and also gives you a chance to see him. Have faith...it will work.

Answer 7

Yes .. you should worry about this, because it make you feel uncomfortable, relationship is all about communication and trust, in your case you lost communication part, its a lot better if you talk to him, try to improve your relation with him otherwise he'll think everything is fine and you got a silent pain that should not be there for any reason. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Unless he has done something specific to provoke you into thinking this way, you should relax. Take it from me, I jump to conclusions like you would not believe. Never has my partner ever done anything to hurt me in that way yet he can be half an hour late and I will think everything and anything happened. Relax, read a book or do whatever it is to keep your mind off of it and enjoy him when he is around. Be thankful that he has a wonderful work ethic. Men need space and they like their freedom. Good luck

Answer 9

Ask him why he is working so much. Tell him you'd like to see him more.

He may be working to pay off debts/bills and is being responsible. A friend of mine was confused about her boyfriend doing the same thing- he was working extra hours to buy her a diamond engagement ring though.

So it might not all be bad!

Answer 10

talk to him! tell him that this situation is worrying you and you don't want it to get in the way of how loving you guys are ..try and work out a compromise so that he works as much as he needs to and still gives you the time you need together.
good luck with it :)