Parents Help please?

Question

I love a girl of different religion
My parents oppose our marriage due to
1.Fear of social boycott of our family (including my parents) by society & relatives.
2.Mental block ness about the other religion girl in the family
I tried to convince them a lot with by all means but failed.
Mental stress & fear about if I married that girl with out the consent of my parents took toll on my mom’s health.
Come to learn that together my G F & I do not have any future, as I can’t leave my parents because there is no one to look after them at this stage of life.
After considering the things we decided to discontinue our relationship.
However we are in very much love at this time also.
We are still going through the pain of parting….
Even now also she is very supporting & loving
However some times she feels that I have done injustice to her.
& She does not know whether she will end loving or hating me for rest of her life

Kindly Advice

Thank you very much for showing your support.
I am really touched by some answers. Feeling very light after reading your answers.
Most of you suggest, "Parents duty was to raise me" now its my life.
I love the girl more than my life and will regret my decision whole life if I happen to lose her.
But strongly feel that now its my turn to perform my duty in return of their love & affection they have given to me since my childhood.
Don’t know what will happen…
Thanks once again

Answer 1

You are in a truly stressful and diffucult situation and I can understand why you would want to part with her. It isn't that easy to say "follow your heart" when your parents health and support is on the line. Especially if you come from a country/family where religion is that important. Sometimes parents DON"T get over it, and I understand your worry. I also understand that losing the love of your life is very painful. I think that you need to weigh if this truly IS the girl who you not only want to committ the rest of your life to, but if she is worth giving up your family over. Obviously most of us feel that that's a position you should never be put in in the first place, but that is a moot point right now....you have no control over that. My second suggestion is that if you and your girlfriend are truly as spiritual as you claim, then pray for the door to open to you or for the answer to come.
As far as your girlfriend feeling hurt over your decision, I can understand that and she is right to feel that way......ask her what would she honestly do if put to that same test? If she would risk losing her parents and jeapordizing their health, then maybe you should consider making the same sacrifice for her.

Answer 2

Unless one of you are an atheist or worship a different god, I think religion differences can be easily worked around. It would help giving advice if we knew the major differences in your religion. If the two of you are adults and are truly in love, I would have to say work out the differences by talking with your parents whether it's all together or one on one. True love is hard to find and there will ALWAYS be obstacles in your way. ( Satan will make sure of that!) Just give your parents time to come to the realization that this is the person you want to spend your life with and you very much want and need their support. Best of luck in life!

Answer 3

I am so sorry for the two of you. No advice anyone could possibly give you will help in this matter. Some people will rale against what they perceive as your parent's selfishness... because they do not understand your cultures ways. And they won't understand the responsibility you take on.

Do you parent's fear that this girlfriend would not agree to let you continue to care for your parents? Would this girl consider converting to your family's religion?

I am afraid there is no quick answer to your dilema. There are matters of respect, and ages of culture to deal with. So, you have accepted that you can never marry, but are unable to completely let go of one another... and it is prolonging the pain of separation. There really isn't enough information for us to start telling you how to remedy all the ills in your life, and some recommendations on this site will most certainly be disasterous to your situation if you take the advice of most American kids. (Our kids are not taught respect, or patience, or ethics anymore, so they give flippant answers with no thought or even understanding of where the ramifications of their advice will lead).

I remember my great aunt deeply loved a man... but she had to care for her mother.... A tough decision, but she stood by it. Many years later, she and that man did eventually marry.

Only you know all of the reasons you have made the choice you have made. Advice from strangers is probably not going to help in this instance.

Answer 4

It's a difficult thing, but the choice really isn't YOURS, the choice is your parents' choice ... there's a time when you have to do what's best for YOU, and if your parents cannot accept or understand, the problem seems to be theirs ... you can simply put it to them as this: you will be happy to look after them at this stage in their life, but you will do it married to the woman you love, they can accept that or they can ostracize you, and have no one to blame but themselves. I've seen so many children forsake their own lives for their parents, when it should be the other way around. Religion and culture and class and status are a frame of mind, and the best frame of mind is tolerance for others' differences. That's just my opinion. The world changes for the better with the small steps of many :) Good luck and I hope this helps!

Answer 5

Im sorry to say this, but if u love her that much, then nothing can stand in the way of your being together. If u have been stringing her along, and it sounds as though you may have been, then u need to make a decision, QUICK! if you dont, then you're not being fair to yourself or her. If what others think about your relationship is that important to you, then perhaps you need to let her find somebody who doesnt feel that way.
I dont think this is the case. i think u truly do love her, or u wouldnt ask for advice here. I also think that because of that, u know what u need to do.:)
Goodluck:)

Answer 6

Your parents are supposed to raise you to think for yourself, so that you can have your own life, and be your own person. I can respect that you don't want to alienate then by doing something they oppose so strongly, but it is rather closed-minded of them to continue to run your life for you once you are an adult, and destroy your happiness to suit themselves. It is so rare to find someone that you truly love, and loves you back. They should instead be happy for you, and encourage your happiness. I would tell them that, and live your life as YOU choose, not as THEY choose. If you are that important to them, they should not be manipulating you in this way. They need to step up into this century and give you, and her, a chance. Good luck. Be strong.

Answer 7

If you love this girl and truly want to be with her for the rest of your lives you will find someway to work it out. Is your girlfriend looking for you to convert? Explain to your parents how much she means to you and how happy you are when you two are together. Parents want two things for their children, to be happy and healthy. If this girl makes you happy your parents will understand, and if not then do what you have to do. You have to stand up for yourself and your girlfriend, because you will regret letting her go, and she will always look back at you with resentment.

Answer 8

That is a very sad situation. If you are truly in love with her, don't let her go. You will regret it. Explain to your parents you are two people that are in love. Tell them you are in love with her, not your religion. Your parents will not always be around. When they are gone, you will regret not following your heart. Good luck to you and her both. Remember, do not let her go!

Answer 9

Oh hon, you need to follow your heart and be with that girl. Yes, your parents were there for you in the past, but you need a life too and that's their problem if they can't accept her religion. They shouldn't make you feel guilty. Please get back with her and don't miss the opportunity to be with your soulmate!

Answer 10

I am sorry that you have such a hard decision to make. But my advise is just to go where your heart takes you. Just ask for help from God, and maybe ask him to put the answer in dream form, and ask for your angels to guide you.