how do u deal with grief?

Question

lost my only son today on here ,to keep my mind from screwing up.
he was only 13 god it hurts. and for all the god people out there why take a life of some one so young hes not much help when he could take a evil person

thanks to you all

i have no one to talk to no family b/f but its hard to talk to him as it waS not his son

Answer 1

Dear Debbie, To deal with the lost of a love one is always hard. and it is natural to grieve especially losing someone who is so young. But he doesn't have to go through more pain. God's plan was to take him early. While he was still innocent of life. I feel that he is lucky as you should. To actually meet GOD in person.
Count it a Joy that he didn't grow up like me who was always in trouble, gang banging, being shot at on a regular basis and shooting back to defend myself. He is in a better place. And if you believe you will be there to. I know I have a lot to answer for in life. He doesn't.

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear about your lost, but if there was a cure to stop grief everyone would be happy, but there isn't and it is very hard to deal with, the best thing to do is to let it all out and don't keep it in because thats when things get worse, talking about pain helps, if it's not with friends or family find somone who you trust. I know it's a horrible thing to say but everything happens for areason and im sure theres a reason behind it. Just remember it's ok to cry its ok to be sad. All you need to do is be strong and think about all the goods things not the bad. I can't even imagine what sort of pain your going through rite now but i can understand, if you are religious have a read of the bible that can help most of the time it gives you inspiration. Good Luck and hope you feel better soon

Answer 3

Hi sweetie, I lost my little boy nearly 12 years ago now and I still don't know how to deal with the grief. You go through so many differant emotions eg: guilt, anger, pain, hate, numbness, sadness, loneliness,confusion and hurt. They can happen in any order and I think the numbness feeling was the worst for me. OMG I wish I new you personaly so I could talk to you properly. You will find people will say time will heal. Time never heals just makes it a little bit easier for you to carry on. My little boy was only 9 days old when he died and i wanted to die with him that was only spending that short amount of time with him. So I honestly cant imagine how you are feeling. Do you have any other children if you do I know its hard but you will get by even for their sakes alone. I had 2 children when I lost Billy and I new when I saw them after coming home from hospital that they were my life and as long as I have them then I'll stay here. I honestly don't know what else I can say but please don't let other people tell you how you should be feeling you will feel how you feel at all different times it is totally normal. Take care hunny xxx

Answer 4

Everyone deals with grief differently and every death is hard to deal with especially a child. I would suggest that you go to a bereavement councillor it really helps to talk to someone that doesn't judge you or has no contact with you any any other way or aspect of you life. Anything you want to get off your chest can be said in confidence. I really hope you dont hold all this grief in becasue by the sounds of you question you are really hurt and have a lot of questions you need resolved. Some question will never be answered but every little bit helps. You will never get over the death of your son and you will never forgot him or the hurt but you can learn to live with it and get on with your life the best way you can without him. Best of luck in the future hugs & kisses

Answer 5

I also lost a son two years ago that would have been 40 on his next birthday. I know how it hurts, but then so does his little 3 year old girl know, looks at her Daddys picture on the wall and says and points "Daddy" She was a whole year old when he passed away, right before her first birthday. Yes, it does hurt to lose a child, we are suppose to go before our children, but God decides when it is our time to go. My son was a christian, drove the Sunday school bus and worked with the youth at his church, just knowing he was a christian made it so much easier on me when our Lord decided he had other plans for him. I know it is very hard to accept, but you can't do anything about it, so you have to go on and accept the fact that God had other plans for your child. If you don't accept it, you will just go crazy with greif and I don't think your child would want that to be. PS....God wants good people, not evil people. They will get their day........He has a need for good people, what, we may not know, but there is a reason, I know that your little son was a good person and our Lord had a need for him. Prayer works wonders when you feel down and sad.

Answer 6

My deepest condolences on your loss. If only everyone could understand the pain of losing someone so close. You can learn about the 7 stages of mourning by going to

www.broken-heart-911.com

and clicking on "stages of grief" on the left side. Look, there's no way anyone can put a time limit on the pain. But I will guarantee you that as time passes, you will find yourself remembering the pain less and the good times more. I know, I know, it sure doesn;'t seem that way now, but it will.

Also, PLEASE, let yourself feel sad. It is very normal to have the feelings you are having: let me guess, anger, denial, guilt, (oh my God the guilt!), depression, hatred, and so on. THIS IS NORMAL! Please, check out the website. I hope it helps. Your son is still with you, he just lives elsewhere.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost a loved one - 37 of Cancer. I, too, questioned, why? why? why? You won't get over it, but try and take one day at a time. Each day, make a point of remembering something about your son that made you smile. Don't use these memories as more reason to miss him - think about how they made your life better. I wrote and delivered the eulogy for my relative. it was very theraputic and allowed me to focus on her purpose in my life. Try to look for the why in so far as why he was in your life, not why he was taken away. No parent should ever have to bury their child and I cannot imagine what you are going through. I hope you will cope better with each new day.

Answer 8

there are no "right answers" everyone finds their own way to deal with grief. I believe that we are all put here for a reason and to learn certain lessons. Once we have done that it is time for us to "move on" Please know and be comforted by the knowledge that your son is now in a better place. Your memories will carry you through this grief, no one can take those away from you. God had a better plan for him.

Answer 9

My deepest sympathy goes out to you I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. You need to let it all out, don't keep your feelings bottled up inside, cry scream shout, anything to release some of the emotion. Your boyfriend maybe more help to you than you think, hes possibly scared of saying or doing the wrong thing at the moment please don't push him away. Time is the only thing that will heal and while you will never forget him or get over him it will improve with time.
Take comfort in the fact he was a lovely boy and you did a good job raising him.

Answer 10

I was going to say something about God but, I guess you don't need it right now. I can't imagine how you feel, you won't get over it ever, it'll just stop hurting so much. Eventually you'll be brushing your teeth or putting the kettle on and you'll realise that, just for a second, you didn't ache all over with grief. And gradually it'll get easier. One day at a time, ok?