How can I keep my Mom happy and not let her be depressed?

Question

my gets depressed alot about the mistakes that shes made in her past and others bad things that happend in her past how do i keep her happy and not think about her past

sometime she's happy for how her life is today but sometimes she'll get unhappy when she start thinking about the bad thing that happend from her past even if we talk about if upsets her she how can keep her happy taking her to a theripist will not help cuz she will not go if we tell her she needs to c one and if she goes she will not say one word and ignore the theipist so if anyone knows other ways plz email me or IM.

Answer 1

You need to let her know that she is choosing to be depressed about what has happened in the past. I'm serious about this. Maybe you and your mother need to go to a therapist together so that you both know what needs to happen in order to get her into a better state of mind.

Here is what you can do to help:

Every time that your mom starts saying or acting like she is depressed, talk to her. Let her know that you are there to help her out with her problems. Every time that she says somehting negative, let her know that it is her choice to think that way. Explain to her that she can choose to think of things in a different way. I hope this makes some sense.

You really should think about going to see a therapist though, a Reality Therapist. They will be able to help put things into perspective.

The key is that there is nothing that your mom can do about what has happened in the past. She needs to realize this. She needs to realize this because she can't change anything that has happened in the past. If she dwells on what has happened, then she will be depressed. If she looks forward to the future and what will happen, then she can get past her dark past and live her life happily.

Good Luck! I wish you both the best.

Answer 2

You can't keep your mom from being depressed. It sounds to me that she dwells on the past alot and depression is a great one for keeping her there. Tell mom that u love her so much and that u want her to be ok. Ask her to go see a Dr. for what she may believe is depression. Depression is so very aweful. The person can't do anything about it, but there are so many medications out there that can. She may need only 1 right antidepressant to make her whole life feel right. Depression will make MOUNTAINS OUT of moehills. Depresson is a inbalance in the brain. Look it up for yourself and you will see. Show your mom what u find on Depression and please get her to see a good Dr. Tell her you will go with her if she would like but somehow get her to go. Make sure she tells the Dr. the truth (how she really feels and how she cries alot and needs help now). If that Dr. doesn't listen to her there are other good Doctors out there, get another one. There is a life out there and she can be happy and the past (THE MOUNTAIN WILL GO BACK TO BEING a moehill). You take care of yourself also and know that it has nothing to do with you. From one minute to the next depression can change a person just like that. Good luck to you and your mother. God Bless and take care.

Answer 3

First off you sound like you love your mom a lot and that is a good thing, but you need to show her and tell her the good things that is happening right now in the present when she gets down about the past. We all have done stuff that we regret, but life has to go on or you will always live in the past. So when she is down at that time and moment tell her how much you LOVE her and show her. I think that will help a lot and if she does start to talk about the past just listen sometimes that is all a person needs.

Answer 4

You can not MAKE anyone happy honey. We create our own happiness. Does she have any friends? It sounds like maybe she doesn't have a good friend to talk too? Is she feeling okay? Can you talk her into seeing a regular physician for a check up? Maybe she is lacking something nutritionally? I know how she feels. Sometimes our past mistakes do come back to us and we do feel very bad about them. But she has to understand that she cannot let her past mistakes ruin her todays or tomarrows....she has to strive to live for today and let go of the past. It's over and nothing she says, thinks or does can help her to change the outcome of those mistakes. Be patient with her and let her know how much you love her and respect her. She may need a lot of encouragment....that's why she may need to talk to someone to see that she needs to move on....good luck to you and to her!

Answer 5

Has your MoM ever been on anti-depressants? An anti-depressant for a short time might be what she needs. It also sounds like she needs to see a therapist. There isn't much you can do to help except to talk to her and remind her of all the good things she has done. Talk to her about the future and how much better things can get. If possible get her to take a walk or go to the mall. When I was in the worse part of my depression that was the one thing that helped the most...taking a walk but it was the hardest thing to get me to do. Your MoM is really lucky to have a daughter who is so loving and caring. Take Care and Good Luck.

Answer 6

Do you realize that the vast majority of the people go through life never once realizing they were born to be happy?

If you made mistakes in past, and bad things happened in your life in the past, the past is where they belong. You are in control now. Learn from your past mistakes and let them go. Learn to forgive yourself, that's what I would tell her. We carry excess baggage like this for as long as we want, without realizing that we first have to pardon ourselves and love ourselves. The past is like a three day old fish, it stinks up your life and that of everyone around you.

Your mom sounds like she has unresolved issues that need talking about. She at least has you, let her know how much you love her and that no matter what happened in the past, you still do.

Have you considered talking to a priest or pastor about it, sometimes they can give you some good advice, or have your mom checked for depression, whatever is bothering her needs to be purged so she can let go of it and get on with her life.

Laugh at me if you will, but praying also helps. Jesus forgave us for our sins, why can't we? I'm not a religious nut or anything but I've seen the power of prayer, at work in the lives of many people, including myself. If your mom will not pray, you can.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

Sometimes I do the same thing your Mom does and it is during those times that I realize that I have done my best to clean up the wreckage from my past and for the things that I cant undo or repair It is baggage that I have to leave behind because if I dont let it go of it and move on then I'll keep tripping over the same things over and over again.Your Mom needs to forgive herself for whatever it is that she is holding onto from her past.You might want to tell her of the great things that she has done in her life and these are the things that she should look at and think about.

Answer 8

Sweetheart I know you want to make you Mom happy, but that is not something that you can do, and you should not be tearing yourself up inside trying to do it. Your mother does need to see a therapist, because it sounds like she is clinically depressed. She needs someone that she can talk to about it. Someone who is grown and capable of offering her some solutions; or enable her to come up with her own because that's the only thing that will help her. You are her child not her mother and even if anyone could keep someone from being depressed, a child should not have to take responsibility for a mother's state of mind.

Answer 9

We all make mistakes. The greatest thing about being alive is that we can make our own mistakes. We learn by them. She is a better person because of them.

You are not in her life to make her happy. She is the only one that can do that. She is in your life so that You can learn by her mistakes. Make an affirmation to live your life differently.

I believe in the battle between good and evil. Dwelling on the mistakes of the past is the enemies plan. Our spiritual enemy thrives on our self destruction.God gave us the authority to overcome evil. If I knew that the devil was laughing at me everytime I felt sorry for myself. I'd stop right away.

You sound like a great child. I know that you will go far.

Answer 10

Always tell your mom how much you love her and care for her and that you are always there for her. There are many folks depressed in this country and around the world. Relationships crumble, but you should always be there for her. Maybe she needs to see a psychiatrist if it gets really bad. She may have to take anti depressants but those kinds of drugs can make things worse. Take her out shopping, all women love that. Buy her a nice dress and take her to a very good restaurant and then to a movie. Maybe she needs a good massage. They are great to get. I have never had one but I hear they are fantastic to get. Take her for a walk in the park. Talk to her. Life can be beautiful and it is a gift. Maybe she needs to join a church group and find a good man? Good Luck with her.