What should I do? My kid has a couple "good" friends at school. However, lately I am finding out that these friends hit him or push him. As a result my son does not feel like going to school much. I spoke to the teacher who spoke to the kids parents. However, another kid hit him today.
What should I be telling my kid? I feel like telling hiim to go punch those guys? But, should I? will I be making him too voilent? His teachers do not want me to tell him anything like that. Anyone, has any thoughts ideas? Please advice.
2006-06-15 17:24:59 · 17 answers · asked by moneyman 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
One thing to add is my 4 year old if smaller and lighter for his age. Also, he is very sensitive and good boy.
2006-06-15 17:26:42 · update #1
If he tells the teacher he will be made fun of as a tattle tale, teach him self-defense. teach him how to block blows.
If someone hits u, wouldn't u hit them. Tell him to belt them hard in the "tummy". Not only will this solve his problems. But it will give him self confidence. He will enjoy goin to skool because kids will think he is "cool". But if he doesn't he will become scared, lazy, never taking taking the initiative, a virtual failure in the future.
He needs to know, that he doesn't have to take crap from anyone, other wise he will get nowhere.
(point out that one of his favorite superheros only fights when provoked otherwise he will go lookin for fights)
there is nothing wrong with self-defense.
The biggest scars in a person's life come from skool and on the play grounds.
He needs to stand up for himself. Let him fight, trust me. Do it.
For your sons sake.
2006-06-15 17:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have taught preschool for over 12 years and have seen many aggressive children though the years. I hope he has an observant teacher who knows how to handle this situation.
It does sometimes work when the "victim" hits back but it is something that I would never suggest. It will only teach him to hurt others when they hurt him.
When your son comes home after someone has hit him, empathize with him a lot. "That must have hurt! You must be so (angry, mad, upset, frustrated...). What should you do about that next time?" Do a little problem solving with him. You can tell him to say to his friends "I don't want to play with you if you are going to hurt me!" Tell him to play with some more gentile children and ignore his friends who hurt him. It is a very powerful message coming from a peer.
When I see a child hurt another child, I rush to the hurt child and empathize a ton. "That must have hurt. You must be so angry. Let's get some ice for you (ice is amazing to preschoolers :)." I ignore the child who hurt. They don't like the feeling of being shut out. I then have the victim say to the child who hit them "I don't like when you hit be. I don't want to play with you if you are going to hurt me." It works very well! I sometimes have to take a bigger step then that with the aggressive child. If I see them continue to hurt others, I will remove them for the other child and tell them "When you are ready to play gently then you can come back." If that doesn't work, I will tell them "You can play with your friends today. I'm afraid someone might get hurt." I have in the past had the parent of the aggressive child "on call." As soon as their child hurts another child, I have them come get their child right away and keep them out of school for the remainder of the day (and maybe the next). This works every time!
Maybe you can go observe this school and do some of this or see if you can ask his teacher to. I learned this technique in a book called Guiding Young Children by Eleanor Reynolds (great book!). Consider getting it for his teacher! She may need the help. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2006-06-16 20:28:12 · answer #2 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw him a huge birthday party with jumping castles and the rest and invite them around but make them stay behind a gate and let everyone in who's nice to him so they can see. I don't know that's what I say I'll do for my son but I'm 19. I think you have to talk to the parents and arrange a supervised play date with they kids and watch them play nice by giving them lots of different exciting activities and if they do it, tell them off, their parents won't mind. That way they can see each other and enjoy each other without influence of other kids around them to egg them on.
2006-06-16 00:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwwww, this must be tough. As a parent, all you want to do is take care and protect your child. I think your child should stay away from those kids. Tell him not to hang out with them... to avoid them, and if the problem continues, to defend himself. If you think that he won't be able to defend himself, then go to the school principal and request a meeting with the parents.
2006-06-16 00:32:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anais 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some good boys are at home only, when they out of home can be very naughty, find out the root cause and contributing cause before come to a conclusion, for time being can try to change the school for a change and monitor..
2006-06-16 00:31:21 · answer #5 · answered by Drone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teaching him to hit back is only teaching him that it is okay to hit. It is also going to get him into trouble thinking he can get the last hit when it really is stooping to their level. What he should do is tell his "friends" that it is really not something he wants to do as "friends" and that they need to stop and if it continues he should tell someone at the school and inform you. Perhaps get the parents involved.
2006-06-16 00:36:30 · answer #6 · answered by Fit Vixen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to stand his ground and don't take too much from anybody. And if he is still a scared, he can always ask a teacher for some support. You getting on the teacher will also keep them alert to his problem.
2006-06-16 00:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by michael g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the school if it happens again you are either going to sue them or tell them you want the names of the kid's parents. You could try talking to their parents about it. Or just talk to the kids yourself. You don't have to be threatening, just explain you don't want them to hit your kid. Kids will mind an adult better if they know they mean it.
2006-06-16 00:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by Sydmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know fighting isn't acceptable but kids have a pecking order they tease , bully ,and hit all through school .. he has to fight back or in their eye's he'll remain a source for them to tease. or become close friends with the biggest kid in school [kinda like your own hit man at that age] teachers cant solve his problem they can only make it worse ..... they're NORMAL and their KIDS ..... here read fighting ....its free
2006-06-16 08:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by Clyde 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those kids can sense that he is weak. Make him strong, and he will become their leader. This is the way of the 4 year old child.
2006-06-16 00:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋